One Ball met from me from work. As did the Bestie I’ve never had a dalliance with. We went for coffee, chatted, laughed, joked… It was a pretty awesome evening. It made me very happy to see my Bestie and my new guy getting along so well. Until the Bestie went home, and One Ball gave me a ride back to mine. Then he dropped the newest bombshell in this saga that is our
Let me just fill you in on the background stuff – he already lied to me once. He told me he had three kids, and then he admitted he had five. They were all with the same Mom, they had been together for around 7+ years, and then they broke up. I hate kids, but this was something I was coming to terms with. I asked questions about his kids; I took a real interest in them. The worst thing is it wasn’t forced interest – I actually gave a shit. His kids are a long way off from being in my life, and I have come to terms with the fact that there is an ex-wife in the picture. Then came the next fucking drama.
After the Bestie left, I got in the car and we drove to mine.
“I have a new bombshell to tell you.”
He has no more than the five kids, which is a relief, but they are not with the same Mom. There are two Moms. There is the first girlfriend, who we shall call Ms. A, with whom he had three of his brood. Then there was the second; the one that later became his wife, who we shall call Ms. M. He had two with the latter. The eldest child is 7, the youngest is 3.
All of a sudden, I have two exes to deal with. I am an incredibly jealous and paranoid person; something I have never hidden from him. Can I deal with two exes being in the picture? Ms. A is now married and had another child, which means that his brood has now technically extended to 6 kids!!! I cannot keep up. It’s official – there are now too many kids and too many women.
I have so many problems with this right now. Firstly, how can a man lie about his own fucking kids? Surely these should be what he is proudest of most in the world? How could he 1) lie about two of them, and 2) lie about the women he had them with?
If he wants to date a woman, surely he needs to date someone that will take his kids on board, not leave him because of them? If any relationship is going to work, the kids have to be in the equation at some point, especially if he is thinking long term. I could deal with him lying about the three kid/five kid thing – that almost made sense to me; I understood why he did that. However, if he was brave enough to tell me the real amount of kids he had, surely it would have made more sense to tell me the truth about the Mothers’ of his kids as well?! Am I really that much of a monster that he couldn’t have just told me the truth? I took the three kids on board, then the five kids; surely it would have told him that the two Moms would have been taken on board too! It just feels like every conversation we ever had has needed to be repeated twice, and now it needs to be re-done a third time to get all the information right that he already lied about.
I have so many questions in my head right now – it’s a blur of puzzles that I can’t set down straight. There are a lot of kids and not many years – was there an overlap? How is his relationship with the two Moms’? Can I deal with this new snippet of information? If he can lie about the kids, and then the women, what else can he lie about? Am I unapproachable? Have I put myself on THAT much of a pedestal that he can’t be honest with me about the biggest things in his life? Can we get over this? Can I get over this?
Now I don’t know what to do?! I like him a lot; more so recently than at the beginning. I was starting to feel a real connection with him, and the thought of a relationship with him actually pleased me. I was starting to have real feelings for this guy, and now I don’t know how I feel. Can I forgive him for his two massive lies? Is this a bad sign for things to come? I’m lost right now. I start to get close to a guy and then this shit comes out AGAIN? What else is there to come? I knew there was a gut feeling I had, and now I know I’m right!
The thing that makes it worse is that the last time we slept together, it was very different. It wasn’t hardcore fucking with pulling hair and scratching nails; it was something else. It was slow, and sensual and passionate. It had feeling – it meant something! He held my hands above my head, and kissed my neck as he fucked me. He played with my clitoris for ages, teasing me and caressing me. It was amazing. It was, dare I say it, love making? Well, almost anyway.
Now I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing. He told me he would understand it if I got out of the car and never spoke to him again. So…. I got out of the car. And we haven’t spoken since. That was two hours ago, and he hasn’t text me. Nor have I text him. I told myself if he text me, I would go talk to him. I would let him explain himself. I would listen and seriously think about what we were doing. He hasn’t text me and this makes me really sad. I really thought he would. Maybe he’s just giving me space? Maybe it’s time I just gave up on him.
It can never just be simple, can it?