One Ball met from me from work today, along with Bestie. We went for coffee, chatted, laughed, and joked. It was actually a pretty awesome evening. It made me very happy to see my best friend and my new boyfriend getting along so well. Until Bestie went home, that is, and One Ball gave me a ride back to mine. Then he dropped the newest bombshell in this saga that is meant to be our relationship.
Let me just fill you in on some background stuff: he already lied to me once. He told me he had two kids, then three kids, and then, a while later, he admitted he has five. There was a seven-plus year-long relationship with the mother of the children. I forgave him for his lies and came to terms with the fact that he had five children. I even took an interest in them, asking questions and actually listening to the responses. It didn’t feel forced; I was genuinely interested. I was genuinely trying to make an effort.
And then came the next fucking drama …
“I have something I need to tell you.”
Thankfully, the number of children didn’t increase again. But the number of mothers did. All five children weren’t born from the same mother, as he’d told me. Instead, there are two mothers. There was a girlfriend, the mother of the first three, and then there was the wife, the mother of the latter two. The eldest child is seven and the youngest is three.
All of a sudden, I have two exes to deal with. I’m a pretty jealous and paranoid person, something I’ve never ever tried to hide from him, but now I’m expected to deal with not just more children than he initially led me to believe, but also more exes and mothers of his kids? And there are step-kids now, too. Mothers have gone on to have new relationships and new families. I can’t keep up. There are now too many other people in this relationship. There are also now so many questions …
Why would he lie about the number of kids he has? I mean, I know why he lied because he told me … but what kind of father does that? And do I really want to be with that kind of man? Surely he should prouder of them more than anything else in the world?
Also: if he genuinely wants to have a real relationship with someone who will take his kids on board, doesn’t it make sense that they ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT THEM?? No relationship is going to work when it’s based on lies, especially whopping great lies like how many children you actually have, or how many women gave birth to them.
And what does all of this mean for us? He LIED to me. Repeatedly. That’s not something you do when you think you might have a future with someone. You don’t just lie to them over and over again and hope for the best. I certainly don’t act that way. I could half understand one of the lies, but both of them? Nope. No understanding there.
Am I that much of an unapproachable monster that he felt like he couldn’t say those words to me — the truth?? If I took two kids on board, and then three, and then five, why would he still feel the need to lie about the women of his past? If he really thought we were going to be a long-term thing, surely he must’ve known that something would come out in the end? It makes me wonder what else he hasn’t told me. What other lies does he have hiding up his sleeve? And when are those lies going to come tumbling out? Later on, when we’re months or years into the relationship when hearts are definitely going to get broken?
I have so many questions in my head right now. My thoughts are a blur of puzzles that I can’t seem to get straight. He’s had so many kids in such a short space of time, and with very little time between them. Does that mean there was an overlap between the two women? And how is his relationship with those two women now? Are they friendly? Or are they the kind of exes that will try to ruin my life? And can I really deal with this? Honestly? I like him. I definitely like him a lot more than I did at the beginning, but what else is going to come out? I have this weird gut feeling that we’re not quite done with all the truths yet, but do I really want to see what might (or might not) come next?
It can never just be simple, can it?