Big Love Mental Health My Dating Life 

Melancholy Nostalgia

I felt melancholy today. Actually, I felt fine today. It was when I got home from work and found myself sat on my bed, alone, that I found myself feeling melancholy. At first, I didn’t know why I felt that way. The day was a good one, with nothing bad to report; what did I really have to be sad or melancholy about? But then I realised what it was: loneliness. I’m lonely. To other people – outsiders – I’m the girl who jokes around a lot. She likes to…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life 

He’s Buying a House?

I’m going to apologise in advance because this is inevitably going to be one long, man-hating rant of a blog post. I just need to have a good old rant. Is that okay? I need to talk about Big Love. Number 37 on The List. He’s the one I’m still pining for. The one that broke my heart into a thousand teeny-tiny pieces, that I haven’t yet recovered from, that I still stalk daily. It’s been six months since I left. Six months. Sometimes, it feels like it’s been so…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life 

Another Crazy Update from the Facebook Stalker

I’m really angry right now. It’s quite funny really. I wasn’t that angry about it before. I actually laughed. But now I’m mad. I’m mad because I did that stupid stalking thing again, and because I reacted to what he’d shared … again. I should just stop looking. If only it were that easy. Big Love shared a picture. That’s it, just a simple picture. A picture with her. The new girlfriend. Outside of OUR house. New vehicles, a new boat, it’s funny how he could never manage to afford…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life 

Big Love Got in Touch …

I read my horoscopes the other day and it said that an old flame would get in touch. I’m not really a big believer of horoscopes, to be honest, but I did wonder at the time if The Fireman would contact me again after turning me down so spectacularly the other night. It turns out an ex did get in touch, just like that horoscope predicted, but it wasn’t The Fireman. It was someone I absolutely wasn’t expecting: Big Love. I’m still reeling … “Hi, I just thought I should…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life NSFW / Sex True Tales 

The Perfect Penis – Is Size Important?

“What’s your idea of the perfect penis?”  It’s a great question, right? A question I was recently asked in real life, but I answered it much more diplomatically than I’m about to answer here. My IRL answer was something along the lines of: “Oh, you know, size isn’t important. I just like a regular penis, mostly.”  But now I’m about to give you my HONEST answer. I hope you’re sitting comfortably … In my opinion, Big Love had the most perfect penis. He was my first ever circumcised penis, and…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life 

How Long Does It Takes To Get Over Someone?

It’s midnight on Sunday night. Well, Monday morning now. I couldn’t sleep, so I started watching 500 Days of Summer. Why? Because Google told me to. I did some research into how to get over your ex-boyfriend, because honestly, at this point, I’m up for trying anything. Absolutely anything. I’m trying everything that everyone tells me to try: date new people, pick up new hobbies, hang out with your friends, get fit, get a haircut, get your nails done, etc. None of it’s working, though. I’m no closer to being…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life 

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (This Time Last Year)

Another day, another breakup movie. This time, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I find Russell Brand pretty funny, so this one made me laugh more than cry, but I definitely felt the breakup vibes in this one. You know how he turned into a blubbering mess trying everything in his power to forget the ex-girlfriend? Yeah, that’s me. Except I hide my blubbering mess-ness into my bedroom so that other people can’t see. I just tell you lot about it. I’m having a tough time right now. I’ve had no plans over…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life My Mr. Grey One Ball The Best Man The Hubby 

Bad Text Sex, Good Car Sex, The Exclusive Chat

I’ve been quiet recently. Sorry about that. It’s been a busy few days, but I thought it might be time to update you all with what’s been happening in my life. Are you ready? Drink in hand? Snacks close by? Then I shall begin … Big Love Let’s start with the Big Love obsession. Because, at this point, there’s no way it’s not an obsession. I was happily trundling through my two-week breakup crash course of sad, soppy movies that would absolutely make me cry, until, just like that, I…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life One Ball 

Fuck you, Weekend

This weekend has been a weird mixture of emotions. I went to see the new Twilight film with Bestie, had a mini moment of fear with One Ball, and reminisced about my former life with the Big Love Crazy stuff for a weekend, I tell ya. Crazy stuff. This time last year, I went to see the last Twilight film with my favorite gal pal on the other side of the world. Big Love and I were on one of the together phases of our together/not-together cycles, but he refused…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life One Ball 

Happy Fucking Anniversary Baby

It would have been our three-year anniversary today. Mine and Big Love‘s anniversary, I mean. I’m hurting. A lot. Maybe I’m just being melodramatic? My heart hurts. Physically hurts. It feels heavy. It still feels like there’s a big part of my life missing even though he hasn’t been in it for some time now. Some days, I wake up and it all feels like it happened a thousand years ago. Other days, though? It feels like it all just happened yesterday. Like I’m still in the thick of grieving.…

Read More