The Tweets I Didn’t Send [2020 Edition]
This post contains a lot of opinions, a sprinkling of sarcasm, and some serious bitchiness ~ it’s time for the Tweets I didn’t send 2020 edition …
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The Tweets I Didn’t Send 2019
I recently delved into my drafts on Twitter for the first time in a very long time (like, forever) and found some absolute crackers that I thought I might share with you before I delete them. These were things I didn’t feel brave enough to say, changed my mind about saying, couldn’t say because of shitty signal (I’m assuming), and various other unknown reasons. I know it says 2019 in the title, but there’s a good chance that some of these have been sat there for a good few years. …
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Six Months
I haven’t had sex with my boyfriend for over six months. (It’s still Bear, by the way.) Fuck me (literally). I said it. I actually said it. That’s the first time I’ve actually acknowledged it. Sat down, worked it out, jotted it down. Six months. I bet you’re wondering what the fuck happened? Yes, well, so am I. It started with me … I was depressed. Very depressed. Couldn’t even get in the shower, brush my hair, or clean my teeth-depressed. But we’ll talk about that another time. Getting back…
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Why Won’t I Let Him Touch Me?
My sex drive has entirely changed over the last few years. I probably should have warned you before diving in with something like that. Sorry. But depression, anxiety, and stress has probably had a huge part to play in the whole bonkers libido business, as well as going self-employed, quitting my job, bouncing from one highly inappropriate man to the next, the cervical cancer scare, the bowel cancer scare, and then going through the Brown Eyes saga. I’m not totally devoid of a sex drive these days but something has…
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What Would YOU Do?
What would you do if someone told you something like: “So-and-so’s girlfriend is a fucking psycho, by the way.” If you knew that someone was dating a ‘psycho’, would you tell them? What if that person were your best friend? You’d totally tell them, right? What if that person was your best friend once but isn’t anymore? Now what d’ya do? Tell them? Tell someone else to tell them? Tell the original psycho-news-spreader to keep their newfound deets to themselves? Update to this: he has a new gf. My sister…
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It’s a Colposcopy Kinda Thing
I had my colposcopy on Monday. Petrified wasn’t quite the word I would have used to describe it. What’s worse than petrified? Well, I was that. Double scared. After the LLETZ last time, I wasn’t looking forward to having it a second time around and I’d convinced myself it was going to happen. Plus that whole HPV positive thing really puts a dampener on things, you know? In case you’re not all caught up, here’s a little bit of background. I had my second ever smear at 28, and it…
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HPV Positive
Well, it happened. I got some results. They weren’t good ones. HPV positive… plus some other stuff. For those of you who are new to the site I had my second ever smear just under a year ago, and it came back with high grade dyskaryosis. Following that I had a colposcopy and LLETZ to remove the cells with a follow-up in six months time. Well, I’ve just had that follow-up. This time – low grade dyskaryosis. The bad cell changes are back, only this time they are minor. OK,…
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LLETZ + 6 Months
When I went for the smear, the nurse asked me what I had understood about my last lot of tests, examinations and procedures. My answer? Not very much. Everything I learned, I learned from Google and the women who had answered questions on my blog. At no point did anyone really explain to me what was going on. I wasn’t told what CIN meant. I definitely wasn’t told what CIN 3 meant. I read everything from “Stage 0 Cervical Cancer” to “It’s nothing to worry about”. She was shocked. Even…
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Life After LLETZ: What They Don’t Tell You
Right, peeps, this post isn’t going to be a pretty one. It’s about life after LLETZ, and you’re not going to want to read it – but you should. I’m going to tell you my story of what happened once I was diagnosed with High-Grade Dyskaryosis, before then having a colposcopy, and requiring a procedure called LLETZ — Large Loop Excision of the Transformation Zone. Also known as LOOP, it is invasive and pretty painful even though they say it won’t be. You can read more about the actual procedure…
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Smear for Smear: High Grade Dyskaryosis
So, it’s taken me a little while to write about this, mostly because it’s actually a pretty terrifying thing for any woman to go through. After already broaching the topic of cervical cancer and some pretty suspect symptoms along the way with a doctor, and being laughed out of the GP’s office, I had put the thought of it all to the back of my mind. I went for my routine three-yearly smear and within six days I’d received a letter – “High grade dsykaryosis”. (See previous blog post) I…
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