Jock My Dating Life 

Beautiful Penis, Complicated Relationship Status.

Weird things are happening and I don’t like it at all. I want my Jock back. My Beautiful Tattooed Jock. I need him back. I want my silverback gorilla! 🙁 Geek Boy… Well. I’m not really sure where to start. Things started to get very hot despite the fact I was trying to make the conversation somewhat platonic as I’m still mourning for my last relationship. He sent me a penis picture. In fact, he’s now sent me two penis pictures. Holy fucking shit. He’s the biggest thing I’ve ever…

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Jock My Dating Life 

Here We Go Again. 

So. The fucking Ex. She’s back. Jock and I had been sailing along just splendidly for a while. Well, not exactly splendidly but we were doing OK. To be fair, nothing exciting had happened in a while. It was inevitable that something would go to shit. It just had to be her didn’t it. Fuck I hate her. I don’t get what this woman’s problem is. Honestly. There is no fucking need for this bullshit. She’s like a petulant child. It’s ridiculous. Apparently, two weeks ago when Jock and I…

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NSFW / Sex Sex Tips 

If She Shaves Her Bikini Line For You, You’d Better Put Out!

Right guys – this is something you NEED to know. If the woman in your life shaves her legs or bikini line for you, and you don’t put out, you’re a fucking idiot. My other half is a great guy but he’s pretty dumb sometimes. For example, if you’re a regular follower of my blog, you’ll know he has a habit of expecting/waiting for me to get primped and preened, present myself to him baby smooth and smelling of roses, and falling asleep on me before any nookie has a…

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Jock My Dating Life 

Dating a Man With Kids…

Actually wrote this a couple of days ago (before the fight) but forgot to post it. Shan’t waste it! 😉 Is it actually possible to be a bit jealous of an eight year old child? It’s a question I’ve been thinking about for a while, but I know the sort of reaction I’ll get when I talk about it. You knew Jock had a daughter when you first started dating him… She’s a child… How can you be jealous of a child…?! The chick on the end of the wrath…

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Things Girls Think About When Her Bloke Goes Down On Her

I came across a pretty funny post on the Lad Bible on Facebook. In fact, Bestie shoved it down my face like he does with so many of their funny and sometimes quite offensive posts. 14 Things Blokes Think When Going Down On Women was the post in question, and it prompted quite the response from me! 😉 1 – Yes… you should have looked up “clitoris” before you started working away on it. Well, about an inch away from it. Look it up, make sure you know what it…

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I Bought a Dress.

So guys and girls, I’ve bought this dress. The Bestie I’ve Never Had a Dalliance With and I are going to a party Saturday night. We are heading out to celebrate the engagement of two of our friends. It’s a pretty smart affair; Bestie has bought a new pair of shoes, trousers and a tie for the affair. I bought a new dress. I need to talk about this dress. I don’t know why this dress has affected me quite so much but I’m pretty sure this is my “coming…

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Emotional Hoarding: The Hubby’s Letter

In a previous post (The Nation of (Emotional) Hoarders), I talk about the little things that we keep from past lovers – all those love letters and mementos of the romantic and adorable times you had together. I mentioned a letter that my Hubby had sent me, apologising for punching me in the face. I have decided to publish that letter. Brave? Or stupid? I kept the letter for all this time in case our divorce got messy. The divorce we still haven’t gotten started on yet. Eye roll. Anyway, this is…

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You’re Probably the Best I’ve Ever Had.

Things have been plain sailing with Jock and I recently. You can probably tell – the blog is always quiet when there is nothing going wrong. There is only so many times you can say “I’m in love!” before someone slaps you around the face and tells you to man up… I spent last weekend with my beautiful Jock. It was amazing really. Saturday he picked me up straight from work and we did the family thing – socialising with my Mama Bear for a bit before we went back…

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Today it’s August 9th…

If you have been reading my blog for some time now, you may already know about August 9th. For those of you that don’t, and also for those of you that simply don’t remember, let me educate you. August 9th is My Mr. Grey’s birthday. Do you know what that means, ladies and gentlemen? Exactly one year ago today, I was indulging in some hard core kinky fuckery with a man that I want to fuck so hard, I can’t even believe I have THAT much passion within me. And…

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Love Puff.

Ladies, I want to talk about something that we probably aren’t meant to talk about. I want to talk about the Love Puff. The Queef. The Fanny Fart. Whatever it is that you want to call it – the expulsion of air from the vagina after or during intercourse. You know what I’m talking about. Well, I did my first love puff in front of Jock. And it was mortifying. He had happily been pumping away while I was on all fours and once he was done, he stepped back.…

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