Erm…. So Someone New sent me a message last night. On Instagram too, bizarrely. I don’t know why he messaged me on there, I don’t think we’ve ever sent each other a message on there before. I didn’t even know you could direct message. I learn something new every day!
I’m guessing he deleted my number, that’s probably why he sent me that message on Instagram. He said I’d popped up on his feed and he hoped my tests went OK. Yeah, right, I know the real reason he got in touch: he saw the ‘reveal pic’ I shared of The Director and I. Yes, that’s right: we went public. Well, I did, but only because he told me to. We’re not even Facebook friends, yet I’ve done the big Insta-reveal … an action I’ll no doubt live to regret. But I bet Someone New saw it; I bet that’s why he sent that message.
I don’t really know why he messaged me, there didn’t seem to be any point to the conversation. Every message he sent felt like a conversation killer but he kept on responding to my replies, and in the end, I didn’t bother responding at all. Mostly because I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what he wanted me to say. So, I just didn’t bother. He’s clearly hurting because I hurt him, but there’s no chance of me ever going back there. What would be the point in dragging it all up again? It’ll do him more damage than it’ll do me. He was never right for me to begin with. We all knew that, though, right?
We talked about his new pooch for a while and how he now takes up my spot on the couch. It felt like a little jab at me, but I let it slide. He’s “finding his feet again” after working too much and watching too much bad TV. I guess that one was meant to make me feel bad too. Apparently, breaking up from me was “the kick in the arse” he needed to sort his life out. And then he apologised for everything he said, like that would make things magically go away.
He should have kept his mouth shut and not messaged me at all. It was done with. We were done with. He knew the reasons why we broke up. He knew his actions would cause my reaction. I’m territorial over my men and the other women in his life had become a constant cause of concern, something I never hid from him. Despite that, he purposely went on a date with a home-wrecking
whore* woman and rubbed it in my face when I was sick and in my bed.
Nice move. That’s why you got ditched, mate.
*I shouldn’t have called her a whore. I take that back.
He didn’t keep his mouth shut, though. He responded again, so then I did, with this:
“It was good to hear from you. I don’t know if we can be friends but I’m here if you need anything. I didn’t like that we ended, or the way it ended, but y’know. Yeah.”
That was my conversation killer. The message to end all messages. It’s over and done with, I’m not prepared to talk about it, I’ll be there for you if you feel depressed and desperately need someone to talk to, but that’s it, nothing more, nothing less.
We’re finished with.
I wasn’t prepared for his response.
“I didn’t particularly like it either and wondered for weeks what I could have done to try and fix things. I still do. But well like you say… Y’know. It’s been nice though to chat again.”
My message was the last one that needed to be sent. There was no going back. Why did he keep making it weird? I didn’t want to explain AGAIN why we broke up, and I didn’t think it was particularly nice to chat with him. It had been WEIRD to chat, and I was left wondering what he wanted, when he was going to tell me what he really wanted, and how long it would be before he messaged me again.
I didn’t respond to his last message. I had nothing else I wanted to say, period. I’m done. I feel bad that it went that way, yes, but not enough to do anything about it. I waited around for days hoping he’d text or call — and he didn’t. If he didn’t understand me enough to know I wanted him to call me, after eight months of dating, he’ll never know me. It wasn’t worth wasting my time on.
Harsh, yes, but true.
As if things weren’t already complicated enough in my love life, The
But yeah, he messaged me. Funnily enough so did The Lapdog. I just wasn’t bothered enough about that one to write about it. I think that pretty much says it all, don’t you?
I wonder what Someone New wanted though. I wonder what the point was behind the message?