My Dating Life 

I’m A Hypocrite

I DON’T UNDERSTAND DATING!

 

*This should have been uploaded yesterday but I’m a bad writer…

I thought I was being unreasonable in expecting a man to give me all of his attention. By that I mean, giving me his attention after we have swapped numbers rather than chatting me up and still chatting up a mass of other women on the internet dating site. In fact, I wrote a pretty long and rant post about it recently which you can read here: GIVE ME YOUR FULL ATTENTION!

I had kinda assumed that this was the norm – to be talking to multiple internet dating potential partners at once whether you’re exchanging phone numbers with them or not. Not many men I’ve met will remove their profile from the public eye (as I would) when they do the number-swap and try to get to know someone in ‘real life’. In fact I don’t think a man has ever done that willingly without me having to ask him / remind him of how uncouth it really is.

Today however, I think I found that man. I think I have found a man that not only can I chat easily to but also seems to have the same kind of morals that I do. Surely not…?

We’ll call him The Ginger (for obvious reasons I hope). He’s a left handed, Greek Orthodox (I don’t know what that means) father of two. He works from home sometimes in some kind of supervisory role and he is both funny and polite. I would almost go as far as to say he comes across quite the gentleman.

He’s a Gemini just like me. In fact I want to change his name. I want to change his name from The Ginger to The Gemini. I don’t think I’ve ever dated another Gemini. From what I read it’s meant to be a recipe for disaster. If he’s as stubborn, hot-headed and nuts as I am I can’t imagine this going very well… Can you?

He’s asked me out on a date and politely asked for my number. In fact he’s played the whole thing very well so far. Apart from the fact he has two daughters under the age of 9 and I’m really not a child-friendly person, I’d go as far as to say I was pretty excited by this new revelation.

We’ve arranged for our first date to be on Wednesday although we all know what I’m like for keeping dates – not very good at it. I don’t want to make the same mistakes I made last time though. I lost the Jock lookalike by playing it too cool and coming across like I wasn’t bothered. That was probably for the best though. An ex lookalike is never going to go down well is it?

The thing I don’t quite get is the fact that he seems to be just as offended as I get about the person I’ve swapped numbers with being constantly online. That green ‘Online Now’ notice is the bain of my life I swear to God. That thing could end a hundred relationships before they’ve even had a chance to get off the ground. Is he online? If he’s talking to me via text, why is he online? Why is he still talking to other girls when he has swapped numbers with me? Surely by swapping numbers with me that means he thinks we have a chance at something? Surely you wouldn’t give your number out to just about anyone?

Back to him getting annoyed, it started with the “Morning” message first thing this morning. He didn’t send it via Whatsapp as we had been talking though – he sent it on POF because he had seen me online on there.

A few hours later he sent me another message on POF because I had been online. We had already been talking via Whatsapp so I know that message was sent out of spite. It irritates him when I’m online talking to other men even when we have swapped numbers. and whenever he sees me online on the site, he’ll message me to show that he has seen me on there. I told him that part of my writing was internet dating stuff and a lot of it was for research (except him of course) and that was the end of the matter. Or so I thought.

He keeps bringing it up – the fact I’m still online on POF. So what do I do? Do I stop going online and put all my faith into The Gemini? Or do I do to him what EVERY other guy has done to me and carry on chatting up other men as I try to make a successful dating story out of him? When did dating politics get so difficult? Weren’t things hard enough already without throwing all of this new stuff right on top of it? And more than this aren’t I being a hypocrite right now? Didn’t I lose my shit and fuck a guy off entirely for this exact same behaviour – being online all the time and seemingly looking for someone new even though I’d swapped numbers with him with the intention of organising our first date?

Maybe I should just admit the dilemma to The Gemini? Isn’t honesty the best policy? A problem shared is a problem halved or whatever it is? Why don’t I just ask him what he wants?

Advice please? This time I need some! 


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2 Thoughts to “I’m A Hypocrite”

  1. You can probably guess what I think. ‘In real life’ means just that – face to face time. Life is a lot simpler if you consider new relationships that way. The rest is virtual and too much composed of fantasy and wishful thinking. So this man is getting possessive before the first date (as you were in the previous rant, IMO). Doesn’t make much sense does it?

  2. notsosexinthecity

    No it doesn’t. Stop being so rational lol!

    But seriously though – at what point is it considered rude to still be hitting up other people online? After the first date? Second? When you do the exclusive chat? I don’t like being one of many so if he’s online all the time, I feel like that. I wouldn’t want a man to feel like that either – like he’s one of many.

    So when do you stop chatting to other people?

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