Jock My Dating Life 

All the Right Things

1.5-minute read

I don’t have time for a relationship.

I’m not over my ex yet.

I literally broke up with a completely different ex less than a week ago.

Those are all the reasons I should stop talking to the hunky Jock who’s been taking up all of my time. We haven’t met yet, but man have we talked. And talked. And talked. It’s like we can talk forever, about anything, without ever getting bored.

You know what that means, don’t you?

My head’s getting all carried away with itself.

I can’t help it. Jock is ticking all the right boxes. He’s saying all the right things. We had our first phone call and I fell in love with his accent. Scottish (the name probably gives it away), rolling his R’s in exactly the same way as My Mr. Grey. I have a thing about the accent, you see. I fall in love with a Scottish accent light years before I fall in love with the person behind it. And Jock’s Scottish accent is … *chef’s kiss*

He actually talks a lot like My Mr. Grey: the same words and phrases, the same silly nicknames for me, the works. And, as if I wasn’t already obsessed enough, he’s ex-army. Because of course he is. Even when they’re not in the military anymore I can smell an ex-squaddie a mile off. I’m drawn to them even when I don’t realise that’s what they are.

It’s literally an obsession.

I’m obsessed with squaddies.

The more we talk the hotter he gets, but now I’m wondering what’s so wrong with him that he’s managed to fall into my lap. I found him on Plenty of Fish … I bet he’s older than his pictures portray, or he’s not the person in the person in the pictures at all and is proper catfishing me, or he has a micro-penis. What do you think? There’s gotta be something wrong with him. There’s ALWAYS something wrong with him/them.

I guess we’ll see. We’re talking about booking first dates and stuff now so I’ll soon find out whether he’s catfishing me or not at least.

Anyway, I just wanted to keep you updated.

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