After a conversation at work today, I realised the men in my life were a mess and more than a little confusing. For my own benefit, as well as to keep you all in the loop, I have decided to try and make sense of what is going on.
There’s My Mr. Grey …
I haven’t really been paying My Mr Grey a lot of attention these days. I don’t have the patience to deal with him while he figures out what he really wants. I adore him, I tell him I love him on an almost daily basis, but he needs to work out what he wants and then let me know. My mind has been so consumed with One Ball recently, so My Mr Grey hasn’t really entered my mind, but the radio silence seems to have kicked him into touch. He reached out to invite me to a wedding at the end of the month, but I’m not sure that I can afford the trip with little notice. He thinks he might come down to my end of the country soon. I hope so. He says that he misses me and can’t keep away, but I think I might miss him more.
When I’m not being distracted, that is.
Then there’s One Ball …
Tonight was meant to be our second date, but I cancelled. It’s heading towards the end of the month and my funds are running low, and on top of that, I can’t really invite him back to mine. I’m back living with family again after leaving Big Love on the other side of the world with virtually everything I owned.
The relative I live with is a messy one, and I don’t have the time to do a big tidy-up before/after work and bribe the relative to give us some alone time. One Ball is in the same boat: he recently left his partner and has practically nothing himself. To be fair, the obstacle is a good thing right now. He’s such a good kisser that I can easily see us falling into bed, but I’d quite like to give it some time before we do that. You know when you kiss someone and you just know they’re going to be good in bed? That’s how I feel about his kisses.
He sent me a little list of what he wants from a woman and, although I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, I reckon I have pretty much all of them. He wants a girl that is strong-willed, independent, funny and dirty/kinky — I tick all of those boxes.
I guess in conclusion, I’m still kinda smitten by this guy and can’t wait for our next date. I almost wish I hadn’t cancelled tonight. He’s seeing his kids this weekend, and I probably won’t get a chance to see him until well into next week. It’s Thursday right now … next week seems like such a long time away!
And then there’s The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of …
After the “Please don’t text me again, ever!” text message, I had a couple of apologising text messages from The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of, plus a call from a withheld number that I assumed was him. I kinda miss him. There’s no chance I’ll ever forgive him for what he did and said to me, and how he made me feel. I’ve secretly unblocked him in the hope he might get in touch but it hasn’t happened yet. I guess he’s still fucking his way through the dating website, one girl at a time. Asshole.
And The Lapdog …
I haven’t heard much from The Lapdog recently. His girlfriend tried to add me on Facebook and he called me at 4 in the morning, but, since then, there’s been nothing at all. Maybe he finally got the hint? I do think about him from time to time, but not enough for me to want to contact him again. I’m done with all that crazy!
And Big Love …
I messaged him on Facebook recently to see if he would send me something that I forgot there. It took a spliff, a lot of writing and re-writing, and a big deep breath to send it, but I did. That was yesterday and I’ve heard nothing back yet. I guess he’s over it. Us. Humph. I’m not going to erupt into another Big Love rant.
Does this mean I’m on my way to being over it? Him?
I don’t think I’ve missed any out. It doesn’t look so confusing now, but I do need to remember that those exes are exes for a reason. Heartache is a matter of choice and all that. You either let them get you down, or you don’t; it’s as simple as that!