My Dating Life 

I Got Trolled!

So tonight, for the first time ever in my four or five years of on-off internet dating, I had my first real troll. And wow, what a fucking troll he was too.

I had checked out his profile because I thought he was hot. Turns out, only his profile picture was hot. The rest of them – not so much. So far undeterred, I carried on to read his profile page. Well, I started to. When I realised I would need to scroll at least five times down the page in order to get the bottom of the essay-length rant all about himself, I gave up all interest and quickly moved on.

A few minutes later I got a message from him except he’d changed his profile picture to a ‘jokey’ one – a child wearing a fake moustache and ‘ugly boy’ written across the front in great big red letters. Slightly disturbed by the new profile picture, I read the message. It didn’t make any sense. Something about ‘meetme’ (not sure what that is), and something about being a really young girl. I assumed he thought I was someone else. For a start, I’m 29. Hardly young. I’m pretty sure I was older than he was. Secondly, his message didn’t make any sense. If I can’t read the first message you send me and I need Google’s help to make out what you’re talking about, you’re getting blocked. It’s as simple as that.

I ignored the message as I do and within a few moments, a second message popped through. This time, he got personal and the message made a lot more sense. It went a little something like this:

“Oh you call yourself a writer? How does it feel to know that as a NEW computer engineer, I make twice, probably three times as much as you do?” 

Except he didn’t write it like that. For someone pretending to be so educated, he didn’t really have much of a clue about punctuation. His sentences didn’t even make sense. He went on to tell me I was shit at my job and even said I made my job up. I replied at this point, “Sorry, do you think I’m someone else?” 

I was fuming. I don’t give a shit how much money you earned you little prick. I have never met you. You aren’t even a factor in my life. Why would I care about how much money you earn? What kind of man would say that to a woman? I know what kind of a man. A true cunt. That’s why he’s single, trolling girls on the internet – girls who would never date him because of his ugly personality anyway.

I didn’t expect what happened next. He went on to tell me how I must pay or beg for social media followers because I was so desperate to be popular and tried to belittle me again, telling me that I was crap at my job, my job didn’t exist, I was talking shit, etc. This  was a man I had never met. A man I had never messaged. A man I hadn’t provoked in any way. I got well and truly trolled! Jeez.

I didn’t really know what to say to that and chose to ignore the message. I briefly considered blocking him but then realised I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Pricks like him are ten a penny in the internet dating world. I know that because I’ve already dated most of them. The only difference is they took a lot longer to show their true colours. This guy was ugly, both in looks and personality, right from the word go.

He sent me one final message before he blocked me. That infuriated me the most. Get your parting dig in and then block me before I have a chance to respond?! Little prick. I was almost tempted to sign in under the fake profile account that I use for other research purposes to message him back but then I realised there was no point. He was going to die alone and single. He was a fucking knob. Plus it would have made me look crazy and honestly, he’s really not that important, is he? He’s just another guy I can laugh about with my friends. Another dating story. Another cock that I’m glad I didn’t date. Lucky escape!

The final message was another torrent of abuse. This time it was sarcastic, lots of exclamation points. You know – the kind of thing you would expect from a degenerate fuck. He’d offended me? Never mind. I was fake and full of shit. Cue more abuse.

I really don’t understand it. I’m still reeling. I don’t understand where this torrent of abuse came from. I never approached this man. I didn’t like the look of him and therefore didn’t message him. I can only assume he saw I’d viewed him and was annoyed that I hadn’t messaged him? Who knows? Maybe there is no reasoning behind it? Maybe he is just that – a degenerate fuck?

I know this much, it bugged me a little. It upset me a little. Not enough to do anything about it because I’m not a complete nutter (unlike this cock snot), but enough for me to need to share it with you guys. Why would he have done that to me? What compels a man I’ve never met and never spoken to, to message me with a torrent of abuse? I didn’t even respond and I carried on getting those disgusting, degrading messages. It was message after message, one nasty, badly-written sentence after another. What the fuck? Why? I can understand I won’t be to everyone’s taste but when I don’t like someone, I just carry on my day, pretending they don’t exist. I don’t go out of my way to message them multiple times and talk shit about the only thing they could talk shit about from looking at my profile page.

It’s the one thing that gets to me the most too – people knocking my writing. I don’t show anyone my work because my husband mocked my first ever published piece. That mocking laugh and those jibes have never left my heart or my head, and when that cunt said those nasty words to me, it was like being back there all over again. And I’ve come way too far to ever go back there. Fuck that.

Seriously though, what the fuck? I got trolled!

Remember guys and gals – play nice on the internet. Someone out there could be writing shit like this about you!


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