Happy Halloween! Pffft.

Ugh. I decided to play The Director at his own game and it kinda back-fired a little because life is a bitch like that. I played it cool about our date tonight, kinda assuming he would blow me out. It sounded like he was going to… He couldn’t get out of an event tomorrow and he’d need to leave home early in the morning. I said, “No worries” assuming that was his way of saying ‘thanks but no thanks’ and it was left at that. For a while at least.

A little while later he text me, “What are you doing tonight now?” I answered honestly – nothing. I have a couple of invites to Halloween parties but I felt a little under the weather and shit is breaking all around my house so I’d probably just stay in. Plus there’s the whole hospital trip on Monday… I figured I needed some down time. Me time. Time to just fester in my own mess and feel sorry for myself a little. You know?

“Thought you had plans?” Here comes the shitty attitude once again. It seems we’ve had a few game-playing crossed wires. I was busy but then I freed myself because he rescheduled our plans, and then he told me he had stuff to do which sounded like a blow-out and now neither of us has a clue what’s going on. Except I’m pissed off and he’s probably going to get the brunt of it.

He’s been acting disinterested for a while. There’s been no communication, no banter, not even the hint of sexy chit-chat… Nada. I know he’s been busy but still – if you’re online all the time you can’t be that godamn busy. I’m not expecting to be the thing your world revolves around but I do expect something. I’m important. If I’m helping you with your business for free plus cooking, cleaning and dropping to my knees on my demand, you should be putting a little effort yourself. I don’t think that’s too much to ask and if it is, move along and hurry up about it.

I’ve noticed more and more often that our conversations are very one way. I sent the longest message about some business ideas I had to get some advice, him being a successful businessman and all, and the only response I got from him was “Good night”. I sent him pictures of stuff – cakes I’d made, shoes I’d seen, oversized bottles of red wine because he’s a big red wine drinker… None of them even got an answer. He didn’t acknowledge the cakes (which I appreciate is super petty), he didn’t acknowledge any of it. What a dick. What a selfish dick.

The mini-fight continued and I told him how I felt. I’m an adult after all. I was sick of feeling like he was disinterested, online for hours yet not messaging me back, not acknowledging the things I’d sent him or what I’d said. I told him that when you date someone, there’s another person. He needs to remember the other person. He needs to remember that I exist. He needs to listen to my stories and acknowledge my photos. He told me I had flat-lined. Me? Really? Hardly.

I figured I’d sort it out once and for all. I asked him outright:

“What do you want?” 

“An easy life,” was his response. Then he napped.

And that’s where we’re at. He’s asleep and I’m sat here waiting for the answer to “What do you want?” 

Happy Halloween.

Pffft.