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Is There Anything Wrong With Harmless Flirting?

Is There Anything Wrong With Harmless Flirting? 

Sometimes harmless flirting is just that – harmless flirting. I personally, do not see flirting as cheating. I think flirty banter with people other than your boyfriend / girlfriend is healthy. It reminds you that you are human – you have needs and desires. I flirt a lot, whether I’m in a relationship or out of it. I’m quite blessed to have a job that involves “research“, and a lot of this research means hanging around internet dating sites and apps, and judging the hell out of the people on them. This in turn, means I need to do a little bit of flirting myself. Someone New (boyfriend) is fully aware of the situation, although I don’t always tell him what I’m doing, and there’s never anything in it. Nine times out of ten, I don’t even message the guys back. My profile is hidden, apart from when I need some snippets of conversation with a random fella and report on progress, normally in the form of an eBook or some promotional articles.

I’m actually kinda glad I have these eBooks and articles to write – subjects I need to do some pretty thorough research on. If I didn’t, I would still flirt. It would just be “wrong“.


Is flirting really cheating? Is there really anything wrong with harmless flirting?  A little bit of saucy banter with a man you find attractive and would otherwise like to bang IF you were single. You’re not, therefore you have no intentions of doing anything about it, but it’s still nice to have that little bit of flirty wit and charm with someone brand new, isn’t it? Or even someone old.

This is something I have discussed a few times in my blog. Check out: When Is Cheating, Cheating? 

Every now and again, My Mr. Grey will get in touch and we’ll have a little bit of a flirt. Occasionally it might be The Fireman, although these days he more makes me cringe than turns me on. But there is something about a bit of flirting, even when you don’t have an instant attraction to the other person, that really gets you going, right? It makes you feel good. You smile to yourself. It’s like a mid-afternoon caffeine boost, but for your confidence rather than your energy levels! 😉

I have female friends that would castrate their boyfriends if they were to flirt with another woman. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be happy about it if I found out about it, but isn’t that the point? You’re not meant to find out about it. My boyfriend doesn’t know when I flirt with other men. Why would I want him to know? He knows I occasionally need to do my research on dating, internet dating, sex, etc. but he knows it is all harmless flirting. He knows he has nothing to worry about. Or at the very least, I would hope he believes he has nothing to worry about. I certainly have no intentions of jumping in the sack with someone else.

I know Someone New flirts, I just don’t know about it. And I like it that way. I know what he’s like, and I’m not stupid enough to think he wouldn’t reciprocate if a pretty little thing threw some witty lines his way. I also know I have nothing to worry about. Even if I did, what’s the point of worrying about it until something bad actually happens? Up until this point, he hasn’t given me a reason to distrust him. So why would I?

Aren’t you meant to be innocent until proven guilty? 

The reason I’m talking about this is because of yet another female friend that feels “let down” by her boyfriend because a friend of a friend saw him “chatting up” some other girl in a club. The fact that to him, it was just harmless flirty banter that was never going to go anywhere, and he went home to his girlfriend that night, and every other night since didn’t make a difference, of course. He was already guilty as far as she was concerned. He touched her arm therefore they MUST be sleeping together. He didn’t even have her number but she would never believe that. He must have hidden it behind a different name. A guy’s name! You see, girls get jealous really easily in my opinion. Far too easily. I can say that because I used to be one of those girls.

I’ve been that girl – the one that was so paranoid about her boyfriend cheating on her, she didn’t even want to let him leave the house. The girl that found a full, sealed packet of conforms and was adamant her boyfriend had cheated on her. The fact that the condom box was SEALED and not one single rubber had been removed made no difference to that girl. That crazy bitch was 100% sure he had done the dirty. Guilty. Not even given a chance to prove his innocence.

I think you mellow with age. Or perhaps it’s just the repeated patterns of bullshit that chills you the hell out. But I’m definitely not as paranoid and jealous now, almost thirty, as I was in my early twenties. The fact that I picked men that repeatedly cheated on me back then had nothing to do with it of course. Or the fact that I was gullible enough to take them back time and time again. But I guess you just don’t have time for the shit later on in life. If a guy cheats on me now, he won’t get a second chance. It’s as simple as that. And it should as simple as that with all girls. There are exceptions to the rule of course, but if he gets away with it once, he’ll do it again.

Leopards very rarely manage to change all their spots. 

But back to the topic, is there really anything wrong with harmless flirting when you are in a relationship? Is it really so bad to have a few moments of tingly, thrilling excitement with someone else? Someone you probably won’t see again? Someone that knows the drill – that it is just flirty banter?

I don’t think so. I don’t know what my boyfriend thinks. Maybe I should ask him?

Is there anything wrong with harmless flirting? 

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