So… following on from my previous post about the man so beautiful that I thought my heart was going to stop, I decided to give you a little update. He might look beautiful, but quite frankly he has the personality of a kipper. A couple of days of texting, and he amuses me about as much as an empty can of tuna. It just goes to show, all the beautiful people are dull. Huff!
He texted me last night, requesting my assistance to save him from a rather drunken night out, and I realised two things. Firstly, his lack of correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling positively irritates me. Secondly, he may be beautiful but not even my vagina could persuade me to go save him in all his drunken glory for a night that probably would have been downright disappointing. Let’s be honest, if he couldn’t even spell the word “love”, how on earth was he going to make it to me? Not that I’m looking for love, of course, more like a good fucking, but I’m sure you understand my point.
So, I have come to the conclusion that he may be beautiful, and I may lust after him, but it is probably something best left to the “wank bank”. You know: the little space in your head reserved for those men that got away, that you can imagine being fabulous in the bedroom. It’s a shame and in all fairness, I probably will still consider tapping that should the situation arise before he moves away in … 5 days now, I believe.
Anyway, this got me to thinking of what EXACTLY I was looking for in a man, and so far, I have come up with the following:
- He must be able to spell. I want a man that actually went to school and not someone that actually texts the words “Sup bbe, whatcha up2?” This sentence doesn’t make sense, nor do I want to confuse my little mind in trying to make sense of it.
- I want a man that looks good. He doesn’t have to be perfect, and in actual fact, I love imperfections. My last big love had a cleft lip and I found it adorable. He does have to be good looking in my mind though – dark hair, nice eyes, a pretty smile preferably with nice, white, shiny teeth, tall with some kind of body definition, tattoos and the odd piercing. I love a man that has gone through some pain – the more tattoo’s, the better in my opinion. He should also have good style – no track pants and baggy tee’s for me, thank you very much!
- I want a man that is a MAN. I want a man that can look after me in some respects, even though I am more than capable of looking after myself. He needs to help me stay safe from a zombie apocalypse.
- I also want a man with a good personality – if he can make me laugh until I pee my pants, I’m sold! He should like some of the things I like – music, films, etc. but at the same time, he should have his own interests so that we always have something new and exciting to talk about.
- I need a man that challenges me, both in and out of the bedroom. Otherwise, I am just going to get bored. I love adrenaline exercises – I have jumped out of a plane, I have moved across to the other side of the world on a whim, I worked in a war zone for 6 months just because I could; I am always looking for a new adventure. He should be just as adventurous as me, but at the same time, not steal my thunder.
- He can’t be a lapdog. This goes without saying – lapdogs bore me. I want a man that keeps me on my toes, in a good way, and again, challenges me.
- They must enjoy sex. This means the good sex, not the “vanilla” sex. As discussed in previous posts, “vanilla” sex just bores me. At the same time, however, I want him to give me as much head as I give him, want anal every now and again, has a decently sized penis, and kisses like a pro.
- Money is not important to me, but I would prefer a man that at least has a job. I don’t need expensive things; I want expensive things. At the same time though, I don’t want to rely on a man to buy me said things – I would love to treat him just as much as he treats me. Expensive shoes are not an option – I want them, however, I will spend exactly the same right back.
This list may seem a little extensive, and I do appreciate that there is no such thing as perfect, but I could compromise on a few things. Appearances, for example, are not that important to me. I could settle for a half-decent looking man, rather than a beautiful man if he could give me the kind of sex I wanted, and also knew how to make me laugh. At the same time, I could settle for half-decent in bed as long as the kisses were right, simply because I know in time, I could train him. Or hope to anyway. Most of my points are “compromisable” in some way or another, which I think, lowers my standards to make real love, or at the very least, real lust much more achievable.
In reality, I think I have already met the man that was right for me, and I guess we kind of screwed that up. That doesn’t mean that I am not hopeful for a better man in the future, but when I think about it, I get sad because I had everything I wanted in the perfect little package, and somehow it fell completely to pieces. Even to this day, six months later, he is still everything I want in a man and more… I just wish it could have lasted a little bit longer than it did. I put it down to bad timing – we were both rebounding and had too many issues to deal with. Seeing as I am getting teary just thinking about, we had better make this another story for another day …