Remember the question game? Well, I’m playing that again except I’ve skipped a few questions. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is it:
I found a ‘Little Book of Lists’ while travelling around Amsterdam, and I loved the idea so much, I figured I would give it a try. Plus it gives me something to write about when I’m not getting laid / being boy obsessed.
Here are the questions you may have missed:
I’ve skipped a few questions though – the people you wouldn’t mind waking up to, for example, and the people I’d like to kiss. I think they’re silly questions. Maybe I’ll come back to them someday. In fact, I’ll make a pledge – I’ll answer the crap questions once I’ve answered the really juicy ones. I love a good juicy question. If you’ve ever got any of your own, feel free to ask. I also love a bit of audience participation.
Anyway, moving on …
LIST THE STRANGEST PLACES YOU’VE HAD SEX
I’ve had sex in some weird places. In fact, I’ve had a lot of sex in weird places so depending on how long this blog posts gets, I may need to make it a mini-series of sorts. I reckon we should get started with the following though, seeing as it was the first one to pop in my head.
Forgive Me For I Have Sinned
I was 16 and underage drinking with my 18 year old boyfriend at the time – Number 20. We’d been in a local metal club we frequented often, and just like many of our nights together, far too many shots were downed. Shots, bottles of cheap WKD Blue, and whatever was the cheapest drink on the menu the later the night went on …
Our tipsy walk back to his house once the club had kicked us out resulted in a cheeky game of truth or dare because we were young, dumb, drunk and filled with hormones. Actually, the way we liked to play it wasn’t truth or dare at all – it was dare or even bigger dare.
We kissed as we drunkenly staggered from one side of the road to the other, and we kissed some more as he dared me to remove my panties right there in the middle of the street. Because he was older, had a car, and made me feel things I’d never before felt for a man, every one of his wishes was my command. Down the panties went, down and right into his outstretched hand. I always did love to play games with him.
We kissed some more and then he laughed as he dared me to feel his cock, holding his black, too-big Criminal Damage baggy jeans away from his body as he did so. Of course I happily obliged, and I knew he’d love the way my cold hands felt as they clamped around his balls, so that’s where I warmed them up for a while as he cheekily copped a feel under my skirt.
We both giggled as we came across that church, front gate open and the steps looking enticingly inviting. The mood darkened a little, and our giggles halted when he dared me to sit on the steps and spread my legs. I was wearing a skirt and he’d already dared me to remove my underwear. They were keeping his hands warm in his pocket at that very moment. He never did give them back.
I’ll never forget how cold those steps felt on my ass cheeks as he ordered me to sit down and “spread ‘em”. Even after all that alcohol and all those years that have long since passed, I’ll never forget that thrilling moment my bare ass and legs made contact with those stone-cold steps. I’ll also never forget throwing my head back and bouncing it off the glass door behind me after he pulled my hands away and replaced them with his tongue. Or the way it hurt. I didn’t care, pulling him up to kiss me and licking my taste from his lips. We fucked fast and hard, it probably lasted no longer than three minutes, and right before he came, he pulled out and unloaded himself across my legs and skirt. A little of it hit the church steps beneath me and in that moment, it felt like the most sinful thing I’d ever done. Although at 16 years old, it probably was the most sinful thing I’d ever done. Underage drinking, barely legal fucking, and all that naughtiness in a teeny-tiny skirt on some super cold church steps.
I’m probably going to hell for that.