Baby Bear My Dating Life 

Baby, Baby, Baby: Testing, Testing

  Trigger Warning: Discussing self-harm.  If I could wish for anything in the world, it would probably be to rid my body of all the hair I didn’t want, permanently. I’m so over shaving my legs now. I’m dying for winter to come again, just so I don’t need to shave my legs as much. Hey, I’m in a long-term relationship now. It’s cool to let that slide. It’s one of the many reasons I love Bear and this relationship. He absolutely loves the fuzz. My summer dresses, on the…

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Baby Bear My Dating Life 

Baby, Baby, Baby (Feb 24th: 4 Days Late)

  4 days late. 4 fucking days late. I still haven’t told Bear. I still haven’t picked up a pregnancy test. I still don’t know what’s going on. My period is 4 days late now. 3 days late is explainable. 4 days late? Well, that just sounds a little … something. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’ve had no choice. My mind is totally and utterly consumed by all things baby right now. I might not be talking about it to anyone, but I’m certainly researching everything there…

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Baby Bear My Dating Life 

Baby, Baby, Baby (Feb 23rd: 3 Days Late)

  I still haven’t done a pregnancy test. I also haven’t alerted Bear as to the situation either. Why? Because he has been a knob the past few days. We’re still in the medication-figuring-out phase of life, which makes the timing of all this just fucking brilliant. But there lies the problem; the timing is never right. It will never be right. I’m waiting for this perfect moment that may or may not exist. A “Let’s have a baby!” moment that you’re meant to have with your significant other. Well,…

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Baby Bear My Dating Life 

Baby, Baby, Baby (Feb 21st: 1 Day Late)

  “Don’t forget to log your cycle!”    My period tracking app nudged me this morning. How could I have forgotten? After the little flurry of excitement after the whole spotting incident, you’d think I’d be counting down the days until my period was due with a calendar and big red marker. Hilariously, I forgot. Until today. My period — late for 1 day. I had spotting, potentially explained by implantation bleeding, two weeks ago. Now, my period is 1 day late. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. “You wanted this,…

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Baby Bear My Dating Life 

Baby, Baby, Baby (Feb 10th)

Part 1: Baby, Baby, Baby (Six Months Ago) Part 2: Baby, Baby, Baby (Four Months Ago) Part 3: Baby, Baby, Baby (One Month Ago)   Bear bought a lottery ticket today. He does that sometimes and I never know why. It just seems like a pointless waste of money to me. But, then again, I’m the kind of girl who gets an actual little flurry of excitement in the pit of her stomach when she buys a £1 scratch card, just because it’s so damn exciting. I should probably get a…

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Baby Bear My Dating Life 

Baby, Baby, Baby (One Month Ago) 

Part 1: Baby, Baby, Baby (Six Months Ago) Part 2: Baby, Baby, Baby (Four Months Ago)   Right, this is pissing me off now. I haven’t solved the baby problem by writing things down at all. In fact, I think I may have made the situation much worse, and much more complicated too. When we got the all-clear for dementia, we discussed things. We know that he has a mental health condition that affects our lives — his, mine, his son’s — but if it wasn’t dementia, it meant it…

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Baby Bear My Dating Life 

Baby, Baby, Baby (Four Months Ago)

Following on from Baby, Baby, Baby:   Four months ago: I’m not entirely sure I’ll ever be in the right kind of place to just say, “Let’s make a baby.” I know I want one. I think Bear will be a great father. In fact, I know he’s a great father because I see it every day. And he doesn’t just dote on his kids (the ones that do talk to him); he dotes on me too. There’s nothing he won’t do for me. Our problems aside, this is the…

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Baby Bear My Dating Life 

Baby, Baby, Baby

  Do you remember the wedding I didn’t go to last year, because of the whole Bestie drama? Well, she’s pregnant. The Facebook announcement came and went, and so did the gender announcement too. I’m deliriously happy for them. I really am. I don’t like him, but I have nothing against her at all. She’s just not my kinda person, y’know? She’s a square and I’m a circle. We just don’t fit. They’re a decent couple though, something I can happily admit now I’m slightly over the hump of bitterness.…

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Baby Bestie My Dating Life The Hubby 

Now You’re Gone

  CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSING MISCARRIAGE For some bizarre reason, I found myself writing about an Iranian woman called Aylar Lie (don’t ask) and during my research of the woman, I realised she was the same woman who’d appeared in a number of Basshunter music videos. (She was apparently banned from entering Iran because of a porn career, but we’ll just leave that where it is because it’s ridiculous how women are still so heavily restricted.)  Instantly, my mind was drawn back to a time when Now You’re Gone was playing…

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