UPDATE: This is filled with bad advice. Bad advice written by me in 2014, when I was in my twenties, a heavy drinker, and had a lot of lessons to learn. If you’d like to read the newer rebuttal, check this out:
When a girl gets drunk and angry, there’s a reason behind it. It’s normally a build-up of a number of things, and when she has that one drink too many; the one that tips her over the edge, it all comes out. It doesn’t make sense. It probably won’t be in a very coherent manner, and it will most definitely baffle any man.I’m the worst for this. I can go out in the happiest mood in the world, in the prettiest dress, with the coolest shoes, and if something flicks that switch inside my head, the bitch comes out. And she’s a proper bitch too.
She’ll make shit up in her head. She’ll be adamant that it happened, even though it probably didn’t, and no amount of reasoning will make her see otherwise. She’ll focus on that one negative thing you said, take it completely out of context and twist it so much, it doesn’t even resemble the original conversation you had in the first place. No one understands how the brain twists things quite so much – not her friends, not the bouncers in the club, and one hundred percent not her boyfriend/husband/lover.
This is exactly the reason I don’t drink. I can’t handle the hangovers, I can’t handle my liquor, and I can’t handle my inner bitch. This is why I like being a pothead. As I sit and write this on my phone, laying on the couch, too lazy to go and get my Mac which is just a lean away, the only thing making the thumping headache and stomach-churning go away is the joint I have in my hand.
I get angry about anything when I’ve had too much to drink, and I’ll try to start fights with anyone stupid enough to come near me. I did that last night… I managed to call not just my boyfriend the C-word, but his friend and girlfriend too. Wow. That sure escalated fast.
So how do you handle the drunk angry girl? Everything you say is twisted against you. Everything you do seems to cause offence. She’s cruising for a fight, friends … It doesn’t really matter what you do. She won’t remember it enough to be mad at you the next day, and she’s probably going to be more embarrassed by her own behaviour.
The thing you need to remember here is that alcohol alters her mind. It makes her say and do things she would never normally dream of. She’s not really herself when she’s drinking, you know?
Whatever she says and does, ignore. She doesn’t mean a word of it. Not a single word. She has no clue what she’s doing. She won’t remember it the next day. The less you remind her of, the better. She’ll cringe with embarrassment if she’s got any class about her. Just put it down to a heavy booze-fuelled night, and let it go. Don’t bring it up in conversations, don’t take the piss out of her for it. Just let it go. Shush.
She’ll be angry at first when she wakes up. Again, just ignore it. She’s probably still drunk. She’s not back to her normal self just yet… After a while, she’ll calm down enough to have a conversation about it. Brief and to the point is your best tactic here; just get it over and done with like pulling off a band-aid.
“You were a dick last night but I know we were all hammered so let’s just all say sorry and forget about it, ok?”
That would have done it. My boyfriend chose to call me the C-word when he first woke up. That’s not a good idea. If I was that kinda person, I could have stabbed him through the eyeball with a pencil.
We’ve had the chat now. I’ve had a lot going on, I’ve had some negative thoughts about ‘us’, my career choices, money has been tight, etc. I got family dramas going on as usual too. Things are hard for me right now. I just needed to fight. He knows this and he’s put it down to being drunk angry. I’m so embarrassed though. I should probably text his friends and apologise for my behaviour. I don’t know if I care that much about his opinion to bother.
At the end of the day, there’s nothing you can do to stop this storm once it’s started so you might as well just accept that it’s a shit night and move on. Don’t take the crap she says to heart. She doesn’t mean a word of it. And don’t play too much on it the next day, she’ll get angry when she gets embarrassed and there’s likely to be a few tears…
This is exactly why I don’t drink.