What would you do if someone told you something? Something like:
“So-and-so’s girlfriend is a fucking psycho, by the way.”
If you knew that someone was dating a ‘psycho’, would you tell them? What if that person were your best friend? You’d totally tell them, right?
“Listen, I’ve heard this. Sorry to bring it up, but I thought you had a right to know.”
What if that person was your best friend once, but isn’t anymore? Now what d’ya do? Tell them? Tell someone else to tell them? Tell the original psycho-news-spreader to keep their newfound deets to themselves?
Update to this: he has a new gf. My sister knows her from school. They’ve been on 2/3 dates and already ❤️’s on FB ? https://t.co/FneRTSAi4N
— NotSoSexintheCity (@notsosexintheci) May 17, 2017
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have found myself in such a predicament. In case you hadn’t already guessed, “so-and-so” is Bestie and we’re talking about his new girlfriend.
That’s how the conversation went. I tried to be diplomatic, whilst putting across at the same time that I didn’t want to know anything else. If I know this information, I need to do something with it. If I don’t know the information, I don’t need to do anything with it. Plus: what defines a psycho? Because I’m pretty sure I’ve been one once or twice myself. I’m not a big fan of deliberately making myself out to be a hypocrite.
I so desperately wanted to know more. Why’s she a psycho? What did she do? What exactly am I meant to be warning him against? The girl who told me … well, we’ve got history. I know that she would only tell me this information if I needed to know it. She’d only get involved with this if it were a big deal. She’s not a dumb chick. She’s a smart chick. She doesn’t play around with idle gossip. She certainly doesn’t share idle gossip with me. We have shared sex toys once or twice, but that’s another story completely. What I’m trying to say here is that I trust her. Psycho girlfriend must have done something pretty bad in the past for this chick to want to blurt it out to me right now.
I’m really trying to put this post in some sort of order, but I’m failing miserably so please bear with me here. I didn’t like this girl – psycho girlfriend – from the start. Not that I’ve met her. But, then again, I’m never going to like her, am I? I’m never going to like any of them. But I didn’t like her. He’d told me about her, gushed about her, before they’d even had their first date, telling me they’d booked the first three dates before they’d even been on the first. Within a week of meeting there were love hearts shared between the two on Facebook. This is so very unlike my Bestie – the one I KNEW – that I can’t even believe what I saw, or what I’m saying.
He changed his Whatsapp profile to one of the two of them together … Within a week and a half of them meeting.
What’s going on ‘ere?
My sister messaged me a few days ago, telling me that Bestie’s new girlfriend was someone that she knew from school. She was in the same year as psycho-girlfriend’s brother, but psycho-girlfriend was a couple of years older. My sister was sure that this psycho-girlfriend chick was engaged not that long ago, and she also confirmed that PG (because psycho-girlfriend is too long to type every time) has a couple of kids.
The way she was talking … it was sketchy. She’s my sister, I know when she’s being sketchy. She knows something. I tried to pry a little, but I kinda stopped myself.
Don’t care, girl. Don’t care about any of it. Don’t even ask.
I didn’t. The conversation was dropped. Until more love hearts between Bestie and PG on Facebook again, at which point my sister and I had a little Whatsapp bitch-fest about it.
Okay, okay, I’m bitter. He was my best friend and I got fucked over. I think it’s okay to still be bitter. He hurt my damn feelings.
But now this – the psycho girlfriend revelation. What do I do about his? I mean, let’s just recap here. We very drunkenly smooched, I started a fight and told him we shouldn’t be smooching, his other BFF texts me the next day telling me to stop leading Bestie on, and also says a bunch of bullshit about me that I CAN’T respond to because the wedding of the century is coming up. Bestie seemingly takes his other BFF’s side, and I’m entirely eradicated from a social circle I struggled to ever become a part of in the first place. Oh, and while we’re on the subject, we might as well talk about this too: Dear Bestie’s 20 Year BFF (Who Ruined Our Friendship)
It’s not exactly good, is it?
Plus, we’re forgetting about that oh-so vital point here. Bestie’s BFF thinks that I have been leading Bestie on for 15-odd years. That’s what this all started over, and it’s why I’ve lost my best friend. He thinks I’ve been destroying relationships for him, and stopping him from having a life. If I go rampantly running in with my newfound knowledge, I’m going to look like the bitter, bunny boiler from hell. It’s going to look like I’m jealous that he’s happy and I’m trying to ruin things. Didn’t I try to warn him about the last one? (And I was right about that one too.) But I’m going to look like a crazy bitch myself, especially if PS has done anything psycho at all … and then doesn’t.
At the other end of the spectrum, however, what happens if something happens and I did NOTHING to help stop it? I’ve already had my bitchy five minutes with Bear, predicting that PS will get pregnant and ‘trap’ Bestie. And for this friend – the mutual friend of Bestie and I – to come to me with this information … well, it must be quite big information. Now I’m seriously regretting not asking that fully-loaded question …
“Why’s she a psycho?”
I’ve tried to be sensible about my options here, weighing up both sides of the coin. If I tell Bestie, I’ll look like a crazy bitch. A crazy, angry, bitter and jealous bitch. I am all of those things, but that’s not the point.
If I don’t tell him, he’ll need to learn from his own mistakes. That’s not a bad thing, but I feel fucking awful about it. I’m not his mother. I’m not even his friend. I don’t hear an apology coming out of his mouth. I never did. He never argued my case with his mate. He just left me to take all that shit.
I wish I didn’t care. I wish I cared as little as I tell people anyway. I do though. I do care.
What would YOU do?
Keep your mouth shut? I’m thinking about it. I mean, it’s not like he’s done much to help me lately, has he?
I should have asked why, shouldn’t I? Godammit. I should have asked what the psycho-girlfriend did to make her so psycho. Fuck it. I make the worst decisions.