About Me

Hi! Welcome to NotSoSexintheCity! 

Thanks for stopping by! And welcome to my dating and sex blog, although it’s not just that. This blog is a blog about my life – sex, men, dating, relationships, internet dating, advice, you name it – everything I’ve learned over the last twenty-something* years of dating. Failed marriages, domestic violence, awkward sexual encounters – you name it, it’s all here.

*Update: Apparently I’m no longer in my 20’s. Here’s to flirty 30! 

Stalking, cheating, crying, laughing, falling in love with sociopaths and narcissists — things we all go through in the hunt for love. Except apparently, I seem to attract the ‘bad’ kind of man pretty much all the time so almost every single relationship has been a total disaster for me.

I started to write this dating blog after yet another devastating breakup that I thought I would never recover from. I have always kept journals, and sometimes I even learned a thing or two from them… Wouldn’t it be great if others could learn to? And better than that, sympathise with me, maybe even empathise?

NotSoSexintheCity.com was born. Although, at the time, I didn’t realise what it was.

When I started to write about my long, complicated, and messy love life; really see it in black and white, right there in front of me, I couldn’t help but see massive flaws. Not in the men I date, but with me. I ignore red flags that appear early on, and I don’t trust my gut instinct – my female intuition if you like. I give men way more chances than they actually deserve, and I would forsake my happiness, and even my health in some cases just to make a man happy.

That’s not right. 

So I’m using my dating blog to become a better me – a better version of myself. Still seeking out that perfect man, I’m more focused on me now – what makes me happy, sad, aroused, etc. This is my journey of falling in love with little ol’ ME.

Five stone down, cigarettes kicked, happier, healthier, and with far too many notches on my bedpost, I have really been through the mill with my health and my heart. But I’m doing OK, and if I am, you can too.

So let’s fall in love and out of love, and go through cancer scares and family drama’s together.

A twenty-something girl in a twenty-something world… It’s gonna get emotional! 

Come and check me out on Twitter to keep up to date with everything I’m up to. Plus … there’s loads of sex and dating blogs I think you should be checking out. I share all my favourites over there!

You can also support me by joining me on Patreon. That’s where I hide my naughtiest erotic fiction because I’m not brave enough to put it on here!

Here’s my latest post: When He Holds My Hair, and you can read it by clicking on the link & pledging! Thanks so much in advance! xo

As seen on:

Top 100 Sex Bloggers 2016

Plus, check out these awards!

Oooh look, an award! The Inspiring Blogger Award!

Oooh look! Another award! The Addictive Blog Award!

Oooh look! Another award! The Liebster Award!

 The Liebster Award! (Again!)

The Inventive Blogger Award! 


The Inventive Blogger Award

crowdaward liebster addictive-blog-award inspiring-blogger-award

14 Thoughts to “About Me”

  1. I’m glad I happened upon your blog. I feel as though I’m exactly where you are life-wise. Hopefully we can both learn from each other.

    1. Thanks for your comment! It’s a weird place in my life, I won’t lie, but I’m hoping things figure themselves out soon!

  2. Hi there. Amazing site with some great and funny stories on it – just what dating should be right? I’d like to personally invite you to take part in a dating/writing challenge for charity – if you are interested (or anyone else reading this) PLEASE check out: http://www.onlydates.co.uk/give-a-little-time-and-writing-for-charity/

    1. Gem

      Hi I’m not sure if it’s just me but I can’t read your blog properly either via the internet or bloglovin app I’m. Struggling to write this message so please excuse any errors but everything is squished to one side. Is it an error I’ve done or a setting thing cause it’s only recently happened

  3. […] “I’m a twenty-something girl that has had her fair share of bad relationships and bad sexual experiences so I decided to share them with the world! (That’s you guys!)” READ MORE HERE […]

  4. How can I get in touch with you?

  5. Chris

    Stumbled upon your blog last week, and my goodness am I glad I did! “Giving Better Blowjobs Version 2.0” has changed the lives of both my wife and I! Brilliant advice! Keep up the good work!

    1. notsosexinthecity

      Hi Chris!
      Thanks so much! That’s the best comment EVER! Obviously I want to know more … What was your favourite tip 😉
      Glad I could help, I take requests … In fact, I relish them.
      Hope you and your wife have hours of fun!

  6. SO glad I stumbled upon your blog. I’ve had a dreadful, excessive, dating history over the last couple of years. I made a list of all the guys I’d met and finally decided to start writing the anecdotes rather than leaving it as a weird list. It’s strangely cathartic to become so reflective- though wincing at some of my behaviours… thanks for sharing your stories.


    1. notsosexinthecity

      Thanks for your comment, and for sharing also! I’m going to take a peek right now!

      If it’s any help (and I hope I don’t jinx it) I think I’ve found a good egg. Keep your fingers crossed for me! 😉

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.