My dating & sex life in very graphic detail | 18+
Once upon a time, The Fireman and I went through a period of constant arguments and breaking ups, so we decided, in true sensible style, to solve that problem by… having the foursome that wasn’t. I mean, it wasn’t a planned thing or anything like that, and, technically, it never actually happened. Maybe I should start at the beginning?
Read More“How are we going to do this? Shall I… squat on you?” I could barely get the words out; I was laughing so hard. As kinks go, it was proving to be more fucking hilarious than sexy, but we hadn’t gotten to the main attraction yet. It’s time for us to talk about that time I tried to pee on my boyfriend…
Read MoreThe Fireman and I had planned a naughty night in. We were going to have the house to ourselves for the first time in a while, you see, and we wanted to make the absolute most of it. We thought we had everything covered… and we did… until his mum walked in.
Read MoreThe first time I had sex was a bloody nightmare… literally. If you’re on the squeamish side, you might want to skip this dating and sex blog post, because it literally involves injury to the dick. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Read MoreToday, I’d like to talk about that time I wasn’t ready… also known as my first ever blowjob. It was every bit the failure that first-time sexual experiences tend to be, and it was bred from hours of laughing, kissing, and heavy petting in that way you do with your first ever partner. He’d drawn the curtains and closed the door, just as we always did when we went to his house. There was some film playing in the background. I can’t remember which. We’d been kissing for hours –…
Read MoreDo you remember a time when a Jack Daniels and Coke cost £1.75 in a local pub? That’s the time we’re going back to in today’s sex fail blog post, and it’s not a story I’m particularly proud of… or maybe I am? Either way, I was accidentally paid for sex. Allow me to explain…
Read MoreThere’s nothing more annoying than spending three hours primping and preening yourself, getting ready for a good night of action after a few weeks away, only to get there and break your boyfriend’s penis. Oh yeah, I broke his penis. Friday afternoon, I went for a bikini wax.Someone New wanted me baby smooth so he would get me baby smooth. Friday evening, I realised the waxer hadn’t exactly done the greatest of jobs. Saturday morning, I call up waxer to bitch and moan. Saturday afternoon, I headed back down to…
Read MoreI’ve got something of a predicament, friends. It’s quite the frustrating one; though, not an important one. I’ve tried to overlook it. I’ve also tried to combat it. Nothing is working. I can’t make him come in my mouth. And I fucking hate it. I can’t make him come in my mouth We have been together for five or six months now, and he has never jizzed into my mouth. Not once. Not even one solitary fucking time. My blowjobs don’t make him come. I love giving blowjobs, and I…
Read MoreYeah, so, One Ball didn’t come. No jizz. Nada. Not while he was fucking me, not while I was jerking him off… and, well, I’m not really sure what to do, think, or say about it. I think this might be exactly the sort of thing I should talk about on this dating and sex blog – so, let’s get straight to the one night of no jizz I had a great night. Like, a really great night. I came three times, got fucked into the night, and went to…
Read MoreMy Mr. Grey picked me up from work with a devilish grin on his face. I’m going to ruin any hopeful kinkiness you might have, though. What started out as a kinky little daydream soon turned into… well, that time I buzzed across a bench.
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