Before we get to that time his dick scared me, we need to talk a little bit about The Fireman again. You see, after we had parted ways for good (ish,) I went off the rails a little bit. I actually went off the rails a lot, to be honest. I was drinking crazy amounts, partying hard, and to be quite frank with you, opening my legs for pretty much anyone who looked at me in that way. I was pining for The Fireman, but I didn’t realise that at the time.
The Admiral
I started working at a bar, which upped the slutty ante. Let’s call that bar, The Admiral. I don’t think I’d have been half as slutty as I was if I hadn’t worked in The Admiral, but it sure made for a fun time. One of the first people I met (and flirted with) was The Chef. It was a silly little work flirtation at first. It didn’t mean anything; just something fun to do, to pass the hours at work. Plus, he had one girlfriend after another. For an odd (and very tall) creature, he never seemed to be short of a fuck or two.
He left The Admiral and started working in a proper restaurant after a while, and we lost touch. It was only for a few short months, but when we finally bumped into each other again, so much had changed… but the same ol’ flirtation was there. So, a few weeks later, when we had unknowingly both been invited to the same house party, it didn’t take long for our flirtation to turn into plain old lust.
That Time His Dick Scared Me
That night, we talked shit for the entire night. We barely left each other’s side, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by everyone around us. Eventually, people started leaving the gathering, his roommate went to bed, and it was just… us.
“Coming to bed?” he asked, as nonchalantly as he’d have asked me if I wanted a cup of tea.
“Sure,” I said back, just as nonchalantly. Well, I tried to be nonchalant; my ears were ringing from his words.
He held out his hand and I took it, and we made our way to his bedroom. I made myself comfortable on the bed. He shuffled out of his jeans.
Then, we kissed.
I must be honest about something: I don’t remember much of what happened before the incident. I just remember the incident. I mean, it was pretty unforgettable, to be fair. I just remember taking his t-shirt off, taking my t-shirt off, then yanking down his baggy, black jeans.
I started kissing down his torso, and his dick started getting hard… which had been the desired effect.
What hadn’t been the desired effect, I’m sure, was the way I yelled – yes, yelled – at the top of my lungs: “Holy shit, how big is that?”
Friends, when I tell you that his dick was huge, I mean huge. Humungous. Possibly the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. It had length, girth, the lot. He should’ve been in porn.
“Are you going to suck it?” he said, more of a command than a question.
I snorted. Actually snorted. “I don’t fucking think so.”
I cringed as soon as the words left my mouth, and I definitely should’ve found a better way to say it. The thing is, I didn’t even think his dick would fit in my mouth, let alone my cunt – and that’s from years of experience with Fireman, who is also blessed with the biggest of dicks. Not quite as big as Chef’s, though.
I’m the big dick whisperer, apparently.
Chef looked at me for a second, like I’d just insulted his mother, or something. “Are you joking?”
“Chef,” I sighed. “I don’t think I’d ever physically recover from that.”
He sighed. I got the impression it wasn’t the first time he’d heard that. “Shall I call you a cab, or do you still want to sleep in the bed?”
I slept in the bed with him that night, dressed in his t-shirt and boxers, half-daring myself to give it a try. Even I knew better than that, though.
A girl’s gotta know her limits, right?
Chef and I didn’t try to date (or fuck) after that. In fact, we never spoke again.
I’ve never seen a dick like it. Formidable feels like the right word.
A formidable dick…
His formidable dick scared me.
The next blog post in the dating timeline is this one: Number 9: The Gay Guy.
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
You can read all about my disastrous dating history, right from the beginning, right here: Table of Dating Contents.
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