So, things have been pretty bad with One Ball lately. And by pretty bad what I actually mean is utterly unbearable. Disastrous. I’d even go as far as to say totally ruined. I think One Ball has actually ruined us. I think we’re breaking up.
Three Weekends
OB has tried to come and see me for three weekends in a row. I have found reasons to get out of the last two weekends… and I’m trying really hard to come up with reasons why I can’t do the third weekend, too – next weekend.
I don’t want to see him. I could probably say that in a nicer or fluffier way, but that’s the long and short of it. I’m not looking forward to seeing him. I don’t want my boyfriend in my bed. I do not want him around. Something about him has changed for me, and the thought of seeing him, kissing him, sleeping with him, actually fills me with dread.
A temporary phase? Or is this the actual beginning of the end?
Is Grey really that powerful???
It's Not Just Grey...
But Grey – and OB’s paranoid reaction to nothing happening with Grey – is a massive part of the problem, for sure. I think that has opened my eyes to the other problems we have, if I’m being honest, and those problems… well, they’re pretty plentiful. OB clearly doesn’t trust me, and I’ve done nothing to warrant that distrust. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I had some thoughts and sent some platonic texts to a friend that I happen to have sex with occasionally.
But I didn’t have sex with Grey. I didn’t even see him. And I sure as hell didn’t tell OB about my Grey fantasies, so he must’ve read the blog and read what I’d written instead… despite promising never to do that again.
I knew he wouldn’t be able to leave the blog alone. We never should’ve even attempted a relationship comeback after that, but hey, lesson learned, right? (Probably not.)
Is He Too Much?
I think that maybe he wants too much of me. OB wants constant communication, which I’m simply not capable of. He’s too clingy, maybe.
One evening, he kept texting even after I’d told him that I need to work. He also called as well as text, so I put my phone on silent and auto rejected all calls, including his. I got on with work, making the most of the digital silence, and then completely forgot to un-reject calls once I’d finished and had sent all work to all clients.
My call-reject error went down like a lead balloon. We had the biggest fight once I’d turned it off and responded to his many texts… and then calls. Why have we gotta talk on the phone all the time? Just text-argue with me. It’s easier and less flustering (to me.)
OB accused me of all sorts, called me all sorts, and made it crystal clear that he didn’t trust me. Not one teeny-tiny bit. Nor did he believe that I hadn’t seen and/or fucked Grey.
Awesome.
Careful Consideration
It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that OB aren’t quite right for each other. We don’t ‘fit’ well together. Mesh. Gel. Whatever you like to call it; it ain’t working. He seems utterly perfect for me at times. Part-time perfect. But in the blink of an eye things change… and I start to wonder what I actually see in him at all.
Following careful consideration, I don’t see this going anywhere now. Regardless of the fact that I didn’t see Grey, OB doesn’t trust me. The trust has been broken, if there was even any to start with. It’s quite ironic, really; wasn’t he the massive liar?
But there’s no rebuilding that broken trust. I can’t fix something, because I didn’t break anything. I was loyal, honest, and didn’t misbehave… and if that doesn’t work to keep trust between us, I don’t think anything will – do you?
The next blog post in the dating timeline is this one: Out With the Old.
Thank you so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
Want to read all about One Ball’s story, right from the very beginning? You’ll find that right here.
You can also read all about my disastrous dating history, right from the beginning, right here: Table of Dating Contents.
Alternatively, why not have a little peek around here: