I’ve got something of a predicament, friends. It’s quite the frustrating one; though, not an important one. I’ve tried to overlook it. I’ve also tried to combat it. Nothing is working. I can’t make him come in my mouth.
And I fucking hate it.
I Can’t Make Him Come In My Mouth
We (One Ball and I) have been together for five or six months now, and he has never jizzed into my mouth. Not once. Not even one solitary fucking time. My blowjobs don’t make him come. I love giving blowjobs, and I love it when a man jizzes in my mouth, so you can imagine my feelings of dejection here, right? No? Just me? Okay then.
I’ve tried everything – and I mean everything.
Attempt #1
I gave him a blowjob on the bed for about 45 minutes – hands, mouth, lots of saliva, lots of realistic moans of enjoyment, and even some additional lubricant, flavoured, of course.
Nothing.
I don’t even think he came close to coming.
Eventually, we both gave up, and he fucked me on the bedroom floor instead… complete with friction burns from the carpet.
Attempt #2
I was on the bed, on my back, and he squatted over my head and fucked my face. It was his idea. I just went with it. Sure, whatever you want, whatever will get you to come in my mouth. I’m sure it’ll be as hot as hell! 😉
Fail.
I did almost die a couple of times, though.
Attempt #3
He promised to give up all sexual activity – wanking, the lot – for one whole week before he came to see me. I think he actually abstained, too; he was whining like a proper little bitch.
Then, I gave him head. On my knees, eyes looking up, dressed all slutty in his favourite lingerie…
Nothing.
No pressure, though. Once again, we switched to sex and finished things off just fine.
Attempt #4
I’m starting to think that I’m the worst blowjob giver in the whole world. It’s not working. Nothing is working. This time, he fucked my face as my back was against the wall. Tenderly at first. Gingerly. Over time, though, he got rougher and faster, holding my head in both hands and grinning to himself every time he heard me gag.
Did it work?
Did it fuck.
Once again, we gave up and fucked instead.
We’ve had attempt #5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…
Basically, every single time we see each other, I give him head, he doesn’t come, and we have sex instead. We’ve added porn to the mix. Sex toys. All manner of lubricants and gels and whatnots. Lingerie. Heels. Nudity. Me touching myself at the same time. Him touching me at the same time. Playing with the [one] ball. Not playing with it. Sucking them. Not sucking them. A finger near the ass. No fingers near the ass.
I’ve learned what he likes and dislikes. For example, he doesn’t enjoy it when I wank and suck at the same time. He likes it when I grip the base and he groans like hell when I take him deep into my mouth, lightly gagging as I do.
I’ve learned it, and I’ve done all of it.
Nothing is working.
Sigh.
Dealbreaker?
I’m trying really hard to be cool, because I don’t want to give him a complex about it, but… well… maybe this is a dealbreaker for me. It’s ridiculous, I know, but there you go. I need a man who can nut in my mouth. It’s not a want: it’s a need.
I walk away from the situation feeling useless. Like I can’t do the one thing I actually love doing. And I really do love doing it. Five minutes of sucking a beautiful sick is enough to get me wetter than the damn Pacific.
But not now. Not with this guy. Not with this situation.
Am I being ridiculous? Or do you understand? It feels daft as fuck to veto a guy because he can’t come in my mouth, but with everything else that has happened… is this really worth it?
I just want him to come in my mouth.
Is that too much to ask for?
The next blog post in the dating timeline is this one: Other Good Adjectives.
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
Want to read all about the One Ball story from the start? You’ll find that right here.
You can also read all about my disastrous dating history, right from the beginning, right here: Table of Dating Contents.
Alternatively, why not have a little peek around here:
I know for the longest time I never came with a man at all and when they put pressure on me it made it worse. It made me feel like a failure for not being able to cum for them and with them. What finally worked was a man not saying a word about it but putting me in a position where I had no choice but to relax and just enjoy whatever he was doing to me. He pinned me down and went down on me and he obviously was enjoying himself and making that clear to me!! I came so many times that night with both his tongue and his cock! Another thing he did was turn off the lights and leave us in moonlight with sexy music playing so I would be more comfortable.
I think men and women are really the same in a lot of ways. Take the pressure off of him and just let him relax and see how much you are enjoying his cock. Eventually he will relax enough to cum.
My theory is that men and women who are givers in the bedroom have a harder time with this. I am like that and so is the Professor. He’s never cum during a blowjob before in his life and I suspect its because he is so focused on making the woman cum. I used to be that way with men but then I let go and started allowing myself to relax more and receive rather than worry so much about him. Now I cum a lot more.
Have you tried refusing to suck his cock to the point that is annoys him so much he’ll just be so grateful to have your mouth around it when you eventually do it will feel ridiculously more intense and cumworthy?
Practice rotating your wrist and move transfer the movement to his cock- twist and pull- allows you to increase pressure or go slow.. It may work, it was a great tip from my partner and never failed to work, but every guy is different.. Just my 2 cents worth.. 🙂 xx L
Sex is complicated. His inability to come in your or anyone else’s mouth has nothing to do with you enthusiasm or skill – sexual pleasure is always at the mercy of the brain. The question is not why he’s unable to come in your mouth, he obviously enjoys being with you – it’s why are you so upset about him not coming despite your best efforts. Sexual relationships are not games to be won, they are to be savored, appreciated and enjoyed. If you are so focused on his inability to climax during one specific act, are you both savoring your time together? I love your blog and honesty, but perhaps you might want to consider what is at the bottom of your own motives; that is probably a much more easy thing to figure out and resolve than his inability to climax here. There’s a lesson in here somewhere, and it’s more about you than it is about him.
xoxo,
Simone
I guess it’s the fact that I’ve never struggled before to make a man climax in my mouth. He says its frustrating too because no girl is successful. It’s not enough to destroy our relationship, of course, but it is a niggle that I get a feeling is driving us both mad. Aside from this, our sex life is AMAZING! Thanks for your comments & the reblog!
Reblogged this on Simone Noelle – Erotic Author and commented:
Someone is terribly upset that her lover won’t climax in her mouth. Read Not So Sex in The City’s post and tell me what you think. You can go to her site directly http://notsosexinthecity.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/the-art-of-blowjobs/ and read my comment on her situation.
Everyone is different. But thought I would share what I think, maybe it will help.
I guess as mentioned already, even though your desire to please is very nice, loving and sexy.. you shouldn’t take it personally nor as a failure if you couldn’t get him to cum the way you want.
I believe most guys like it when a woman suck on their cocks without using their hands because it looks sexy, it makes them see more action and see their cocks bigger in the mouth of their lovers. But usually sensation-wise hands (especially with the right amount of saliva/lube) can do miracles with your mouth. So I would say that you shouldn’t dismiss the idea of using your hands to stimulate his shaft, experiment with it, even if he said that he doesn’t like it much, he still uses his own hands to jerk off, so it I guess it’s only a matter of finding the right way to stroke him.
Personally, when a woman focuses too much on sucking the head of my cock, I get too sensitive and it gives me this sensation that I am so close to cumming yet I am too sensitive to enjoy it and actually cum. I prefer a 4:1 ratio, four deeper sucks then one hard suck on the head of my cock 😀 of course playing around with that ratio is fun too. Just don’t focus too much on the head (at least for me)
It can be psychological. Due to my line of work, I have met some guys who said that there were times that they couldn’t cum with oral sex even though they wanted it so bad and even fantasized and exploded to the thought of it. And that was because they think it’s “bad” or “disgusting” because of their upbringing.
Suggest that he closes his eye and think about something that he wants, a fantasy, even say it to you out loud (which might be hot for you too). He can even watch porn while you are sucking him. Or try 69 (that’s a win-win). Just things that can totally take his mind off the act and just leave him with the sensation of your mouth around him.
Finally, try mutual masturbation. Masturbate with him as you two watch each other, let him tell you when he is about to cum, tell him that you want his cum in your mouth. or maybe tell him that you want it on your tits and then guide him to your mouth, just to make sure he is not thinking about it and take the pressure off him.
Let us know the updates and happy sucking! 🙂
It’s just so frustrating! Thanks for all of your comments though, I will definitely try a few of them. The worst of it is, everything that people have commented on here, we have tried. He has watched porn, we have mutually masturbated, (that’s actually what causes the first almost-cuming in my mouth before)…. It’s annoying because everything that has worked with guys before, and I know they aren’t all the same so I know the importance of mixing it up, doesn’t work. It’s fun trying though and I certainly won’t give up. I just really want to be the girl that makes him cum in her mouth…. I really want to be the first girl that makes him do that, you know? Is that silly?
Thanks so much for your comment, much appreciated as always! Can’t wait to see him… It’s going to be so much fun hahaha! 🙂
Personally, I like the hands to be used in coordination with the mouth. So I am surprised to hear of two men who don’t like the feel of that. We are all unique it seems.
He has a block. It has happened to me. Theories: 1) It might be because he respects you too much and subconsciously views that as disrespectful (sort of Madonna Whore complex with oral). 2) He might subconsciously think of the fact you’ve done it with other men and it mind-fucks him. This is healthy jealous though because it means he is in to you. [do not mention this!] 3) You two may have put so much pressure on your selves that he is now too uptight to do it. ie, thinking about it too much.
Once you get over the hump a few times it won’t be an issue.
IDEAS:
1) Put on some porn while you are doing it.
2) Do you know how to look up and make eye contact with him while the dick is in your mouth? That is big for many of us…
3) Do you make supportive noises while you are doing it? (like an affirmative ‘uh-ha’)
4) At the right time do you say “let it go baby” or “please fill my mouth up” or something along those lines?
5) Tried 69?
6) Have you intercourse and then at the last minute switched to oral right before he climaxes? (Be sure to tell him you like to taste yourself. If he is naughty he will like that).
7) Can you make him cum with a handjob? If so get him to the brink and then switch on him.
* For #6 & #7 it should be a surprise switch without warning so he never has time to think about it.
8) Tie him up and blindfold him. Make him sit back and relax and listen to you. In a soft voice tell him a detailed fantasy of yours. That you want to watch another woman give him a BJ. Walk him through the fantasy in titillating detail. Even if you are lying tell him how much it turns you on to watch her suck him. Tell him how back you want to watch him cum in/on her. Make him tell you how bad he want that and then make him think about the other woman sucking him when you go down on him. That may help him get over his mental block.
Just some ideas! Sex is very much personal preference, but I think it is awesome that you put thought into trying to please him. A lucky man.
Wow that was an epic comment! Loved it!
I do make affirmative noises, and I have used a mixture of hands and no hands. We’ve even tried fucking and then switching it up at the last minute…. And no the handjob doesn’t work either. It even takes him forever to cum when he is jerking off while I’m in the room. I suggested watching porn as we do it and he said he doesn’t want to because he wants to enjoy what he has in front of him… Which I’m assuming is me 🙂
I take forever to get ready in the morning and he has started doing this super awesome thing where he secretly jerks off while I’m doing my thing and getting ready. When he is ready to cum, he says my name so that when I look around, I notice he is jerking off and wander over for him to cum in my mouth. I’ve cottoned on now and I know he’s jerking off, but I pretend not to notice. Even when he jerks off it seems to take him a long time, porn or otherwise. He doesn’t like listening to the noises of porn either, he just watches so its not even as if I can put it on as back ground noise. He’s an odd one that’s for sure and I do love a good challenge. I’ve also asked him to cum in my mouth mid-BJ and fuck… I’m starting to think that maybe it is something in his head, although he protests this. And he loves it when I look up at him when sucking him off. He says I have this massive innocent eyes and he loves it. You have presented some good ideas though. I haven’t tied him up yet… I may try this when he comes back down my way. Only 8 sleeps to wait…
Once again, thanks for your super awesome comment. I shall keep trying, that’s for sure, and of course I will be sure to tell you my tales.
🙂
Ok. Just found your blog. Amazing to say the least. So based on some reading ive been doing and the fact i have never sucked my guy of 10 years to completion I need to know how to suck. I do tend to scrape my teeth. And gag. What’s the secret ? I really want to suprise him.