Soundtrack: Guilty Conscience by Eminem Feat. Dr Dre.
Have you ever had a hunch about something that’s so strong, you can’t help but investigate it? Well, I had that hunch a lot with Whisky. I can remember when it started, too. I was at work and he was in The Canterbury Tales, having a few drinks. We were texting as usual… but something didn’t feel right.
I couldn’t work out what it was. Had I made a mistake at work and not realised? Somewhere else? Left my hair straighteners on at home that morning? I didn’t assume it was anything to do with Whisky at first. As my shift rolled by, though, the focus soon turned to him. I scanned over the messages that we’d sent each other that day, between customers, trying to find anything he’d said that wasn’t quite right, but there was nothing.
Still, though, something wasn’t right.
Hurriedly Home
My shift finished at 10pm and I hurriedly walked the 15 minutes home, making it in 12 minutes. It was a personal best for me. Whisky was sat on the couch, watching TV, looking as relaxed as could be.
“Are you okay?” I asked him. “I’ve had a really weird feeling all day.”
He frowned. “Yeah, I’m fine. What do you mean a weird feeling?”
I shrugged it off. “Just me being a twat, probably.”
We cooked dinner together and had a perfectly lovely time. Still though, I was really out of sorts. I kept dropping and spilling things, and I got really frustrated with him in the kitchen with me. I was anxious, but I didn’t realise that back then. I’m not sure if I’d ever heard the word ‘anxiety’ back then, to be honest.
Whisky seemed a bit out of sorts, too. He was quieter than usual, and it was the first night since he’d had a key that we didn’t fuck at bedtime. We always fucked at bedtime. It was a routine: brush teeth over the his n’ hers double sink in my bathroom, grab a glass of water on the way to my bedroom, then fuck before we fall asleep. Not this night, though.
Still, we had to not fuck at bedtime at some point, right? That’s normal? It happens?
I tried not to worry about it.
Three Days Later
Whisky had been out drinking with his work buddies. It was a lads only thing, he’d said. It gave me time to sort through laundry and get The Flat in order without him. Bestie was at work, too. I almost jumped for joy at the thought of being home alone for the first time in a very long time.
He came home after midnight, pretty drunk. I was just getting into bed, so I sshh’d him up the stairs, took him some water, and placed some ibuprofen on the bedside cabinet for when he woke up. He passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow, before I’d even returned to the bedroom… and I noticed his flip phone.
I’d never gone through a man’s phone before. I mean, I’d never really had any reason to. The Postman had cheated, but his fiancé came to me about that. It wasn’t something that I needed to investigate being oblivious and all.
But… well… I’d had that hunch lately, right?
I grabbed his phone, tiptoed out of the room, and shut the door as quietly as I could. Pressing my ear against the door I waited until he snored, then started my investigation, starting with text messages.
The Canterbury Tales
I was only about three or four messages in when I found one from his aunt that made my heart stop, then plummet.
“You should stop sleeping with her now that you’re engaged.”
What. The. Fuck?
My hands were violently shaking. I almost dropped the phone as I came out of his inbox and entered sent messages.
“I saw her today. We went to a pub.”
Tears fell down my cheeks. My mind immediately went back to His Best Mate’s Girl. Had he been with her?
I have no idea what possessed me, but I stormed into my bedroom, threw the phone at the bed, hitting his arm, and glared at him. “Who the fuck did you go to The Canterbury Tales with today?”
“The lads from work. I told you that,” he said, sitting up and rubbing his arm. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I grabbed the phone back, then read his messages aloud, finishing with, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
What happened next will stay with me for the rest of my life and would change the trajectory of our relationship forever.
That’s here, in the next blog post in the dating timeline: The First Fight.
Thank you so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
Would you like to read all about The Ex-Husband’s story, right from the very beginning? You’ll find that right here.
You can also read all about my disastrous dating history, right from the beginning, right here: Table of Dating Contents.
Alternatively, why not have a little peek around here: