I recently purchased this delightful little sex toy – the Satisfyer 2 Pro – mostly because it was on special offer, but also because I’ve been pondering giving clit suck/blow toys a try for a while. I’m not much of a direct contact kinda gal, so I wasn’t sure that those kinds of toys would be right for me.
Boy, was I wrong.
Anyway, I purchased the toy, then gave it a really good run for its money, and now I’m going to tell you all about the best bits, the worst bits, and everything in between, in this Satisfyer 2 Pro Review.
Are you sitting comfortably? If so, I shall begin.
A Little Background
I’ve been on a bit of a mad toy-buying spree lately, probably because I haven’t had sex in so long now that I’ve lost track of the years. Six years? Seven? Twenty?! It’s anyone’s guess at this point.
The Satisfyer 2 Pro was part of a larger order from Buzz Pinky, which also included a beginner’s butt plug that is not very beginner’y, a clit-licking toy that would work well as a form of Special Forces torture, and some Liquid Silk lubricant, which is my personal favourite. (Specifically, because it doesn’t have a name like Gun Oil or Slick n’ Slide.)
I paid for the toy myself. (Its not sponsored/PR/etc.)
Satisfyer 2 Pro Review
So, it’s time for us to take a deep dive with this sex toy – the good, the bad, the ugly, and the very orgasmic (hopefully.)
Why don’t we start with the specs and go from there?
Specs
Satisfyer says this about the toy: “equipped with our innovative Satisfyer Airpulse technology, titillating your clit with gentle or intense waves of pressure.”
Here are some of the most important features:
- Clitoral stimulation toy
- Uses ‘Air-Pulse Technology’
- USB magnetic charging
- Body-safe silicone + ABS
- IPX7 waterproof
- Whisper-quiet motor
- 11 levels of pulses
- 17 cm long x 4.5 cm wide x 7 cm deep
- Rose gold
- I paid £33.99
- 15-year warranty
Packaging
I loved the box that my Satisfyer 2 Pro came in. It’s not too I’M A DILDO, you know? And compared to the little [sealed] foil bag that the Buzz Pinky Licking Palm Shaped Vibrator came in, this sex toy has much more luxurious packaging….
And it has directions.
I really liked the security/hygiene seal on the box. It’s a little thing, but that added touch just make you feel better, you know?
Design
Air-Pulse Technology, in case you were wondering, stimulates the clitoris using waves of pressure. I call them puffs. I wasn’t expecting the puffs; I’d just assumed it was a clit-sucking toy… but it’s not. There’s no sucking involved. Just puffs. Puff puff puff.
I love the Satisfyer 2 Pro’s design. Everything is just as and where it should be. The white tip that surrounds the clitoris is actually perfect for me; any bigger or smaller and I’m not sure that I’d enjoy it as much. The whole thing is just the right size and shape to hold.
The only downside I do have, is things get very slippery down there when the sex toy is doing its thing. Honestly, it’s like a damn slip n’ slide. It is entirely uncommon for things to move around… especially when you start shaking and all that orgasmic stuff.
The button placements are a little fiddly, but I don’t know where else I’d put them. The power symbol is textured, so it’s somewhat easy to find against the smoothness of the rest of the Satisfyer, and the same applies to the up-down buttons… but still, it was a little fiddly for me to try and change the level/intensity mid-play, you know? I get the on/off and up-down buttons mixed up sometimes.
You press and hold the power button to turn the Satisfyer 2 Pro on, and the same to turn it off.
To cycle through the settings, hit the up or down section of the up-down button. When you get to the eleventh and final setting, you can’t go any further; the only way is down. (No cycling through.)
Settings
The Satisfyer 2 Pro has eleven settings, and they’re all varying levels of puff-puff intensity. The first one is pretty delicate, and the eleventh one is a bit… violent. There’s literally a setting for everyone.
I tend to start off with setting five or sex for the first orgasm, two or three for the second, then eight or nine for the third… but I also love playing and edging myself with this toy – up, down, up, down stuff, you know?
I love using this toy on my nipples, and I tend to go straight in with the higher settings. I’m on the hunt for the oh, so elusive nipple orgasm, which people on the internet seem to think is possible, but I haven’t quite got there yet. Still, I thought vaginal orgasms were a bit of a myth until I had one for myself. I still have hope. I STILL HAVE HOPE!
Charger
The Satisfyer 2 Pro uses the two-dot style of magnetic charging that quite a few sex toys use these days. I reviewed two Paloqueth toys a while back, and they both used this same two-dot magnetic charging method. Annoyingly, I threw them away because I’d lost the chargers and didn’t realise that lots of toys now use that style… and right before getting a replacement charger in the very next toy haul. Typical.
It charges fine. The magnetic attachments are a lot stronger and more durable than they look, and the toy doesn’t stop charging super easily. I thought that it might as it looks quite flimsy, but you’d need to bash the toy with some force to knock it away from the two charging contacts.
It takes the Satisfyer 2 Pro 45 minutes to charge, from flat battery to fully charged.
(I timed it!)
The toy arrived with some charge, so I ran the battery down, masturbating like an absolute madman, to run it down – all for this review. I plugged it in, battery dead, at 17:29, and by 18:15, the flashing red charging button had changed to a solid red light.
Charging = flashing red light.
Fully charged = solid red light.
Battery
Once the battery had run out, straight out of the box, I charged it up and designated it as my “main” toy. I used the Satisfyer 2 Pro and nothing else, for the entire duration of the battery charge.
I also noted how long I’d used the Satisfyer 2 Pro for, and how many orgasms I got out of it – again, all for this review. I do love to put a toy through its paces properly… and furiously. How else am I going to give you a proper, honest review?
Here are my very scientific results:
- 13m 29s – 7 orgasms (ovulating)
- 25m 12s – 8 orgasms (ovulating)
- 27m 39s – 3 orgasms (Sertraline struggles)
- 11m 48s – 4 orgasms
- 11m 34s – 3 orgasms
- 11m 26s – 3 orgasms
- 10m 56s – 3 orgasms
- 23m 12s – 4 orgasms – Satisfyer 2 Pro ran out of charge halfway through
If we take off, let’s say three minutes from each video total for… well… porn-finding purposes (and half off that last wank,) I’ve calculated that I got around 99 minutes of playtime from the Satisfyer 2 Pro’s full battery charge, using all the different levels/intensity settings.
That’s not bad. I’ve never measured any other toy like that, so I can’t compare it to the rest of my toy box, but it feels like a really good length of time to play with a sex toy before the battery dies.
Noise
I absolutely love that the Satisfyer 2 Pro is as described: whisper quiet. It’s much, much quieter than my Rampant Rabbit. It’s also a lot easier to shove down the front of my joggers, which, in turn, helps to muffle the sound.
The toy is a lot louder when it’s not actually on my body. When it is, it’s super quiet. Definitely whisper quiet. In the air, though, it’s a bassy, buzzy little bastard. The higher the setting, the louder it also is… but that’s pretty obvious.
Of all the toys in my toy box, this is the quietest, easiest, and quickest one to make me come. It might be one of my best ever purchases – and I don’t say that lightly at all.
Ease of Use
I love how easy the Satisfyer 2 Pro is to use. It’s easy and comfortable to hold, and the clit-surrounding piece is easy to direct to just the right places (in my opinion.) The buttons are somewhat easy to use, but as I’ve said before, they are a little fiddly.
You *do* need to get the right amount of suction around the clitoris to make it puff-puff-puff properly, but once you’ve got the hang of it once, you’ve got the hang of it for good, thankfully. It makes the loudest slurrrrping noise when that connection is broken… which made me laugh, the first time it happened. Not my sexiest moment, I’ll admit.
Orgasmability
Now, before we get to the good stuff, I feel like it’s important to tell you the whole story. It went a little something like this:
This thing had better be good.
What’s the big deal?
I don’t think this is the right toy for me.
How the fuck do you use this?
Yeah, I don’t like it.
Oh, wow. This is the best sex toy of my life!
It was a journey, I tell ya!
The orgasms I have with the Satisfyer 2 Pro are… different somehow, to the ones I have with something like the Rampant Rabbit. With the Rabbit, there’s a buildup, but with the Satisfyer, my orgasm seems to literally pop up out of nowhere. It’s mad. I’ll think that nothing is happening… then, I’ll come. Boom. No warning. No buildup. Just not coming, then coming.
I can lay back on the bed, position this toy between my legs, then just… lie there, coming. I don’t move it away post-orgasm; I just turn the setting down until it’s not as sensitive before, then come again. And again. And again…
Multiple orgasms for days. Magical stuff. Sorcery. I’m totally here for it. Orgasmability off the charts.
As Advertised?
Oh, for sure!
What was it the company said? Oh, yeah: “titillating your clit with gentle or intense waves of pressure.” Considered me and my clit totally titillated. Absolutely as advertised.
If anything, I don’t think that Satisfyer has advertised enough. Everyone should have one of these in their toybox. Everyone. It should get the same hype that the OG Rampant Rabbit did.
Satisfyer 2 Pro Review: Conclusion
I paid £33.99 for the Satisfyer 2 Pro, and, so far, it has exceeded all of my expectations. I have so far squeezed 35 orgasms out of one full charge, which works out to 97 pence per orgasm. I don’t think you could get a better bargain than that, to be honest.
It’s a lot cheaper than men and/or dating… and a lot less stressful, too.
I recommend having a little shop around before buying this sex toy, as there’s always a sale on somewhere for it.
Value for money aside, this Satisfyer 2 Pro review is an overwhelmingly positive one. It’s my new go-to toy, replacing my tried n’ tested Rampant Rabbit. I’ve barely thought about the latter since the former arrived, and no other toy has ever done that.
Outtakes
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
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