Out With the Old, In With the New?
I did it. I broke up with One Ball. I broke up with him because I didn’t have time for a relationship, and definitely not the relationship we were trying to have. I’m trying to spin too many plates at once. It’s not him, it’s me. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
So, I decided to remove myself from all dating applications and sites and NOT look for a man. I need to focus on myself for a while. Get my life back on track, then find time to insert a partner into it. That was the plan. Except it didn’t exactly go like that …
I met someone. Just as I went on the Plenty of Fish app on my phone, a message pinged up from this heavily-tattooed guy. Let’s call him Jock. A beautiful Tattooed Jock. I read his message, giggled at his joke, and debated for around thirty seconds before saying ‘fuck it’ and responding with some witty repartee of my own. He had a few pics on his profile so I had a scan through them … and he is hot. Like, not conventionally hot; my kinda hot. Gruff. Tatted. Stocky. Funny. A bit rough around the edges. We ended up talking for quite a while and then he asked me out for dinner.
But this gorgeous tattooed guy lives a good 45 minutes or so away by car, which means that it would be even longer by public transport (as I don’t drive). If I didn’t have time for a relationship with One Ball – a long-distance one in which he almost always drove to my place – how am I going to find the time to have a long-distance (ish) relationship with this new guy.
Despite knowing that we probably won’t work because of the distance alone, we stay up talking until two in the morning, frantic texts sent from both sides that distract me from whatever it is I’m meant to be doing. I literally still have One Ball clinging on to my tails, sending begging texts and leaving sad voicemails, and I’m over here accidentally falling into relationships with boys who strike my fancy. Well, just one boy. A man, actually. He’s a bit older than me. Seven years older if you want to get specific about it.
He has a motorbike. Big tick. He’s cute. Another big tick. He makes me laugh a lot. Another whopping great big tick. What am I doing? Breaking up with one guy and starting up with another on internally the same flipping day. Is this really happening to me? I’m still debating My Mr. Grey and figuring out One Ball and trying to forget about my crush on One Ball’s best friend … I don’t need another new man in my life right now.
But here I am, with another new man in my life, and he has well and truly captured my attention. Do I even want to date someone already? Am I open to that? Will we even go that far or is this just some short-term flirtation. I hope so and I hope not, all at the same time. I don’t want to hurt One Ball by moving on so quickly, but I WANT to get to know this new chap. I want to say yes to his proposal for dinner. I’m not exactly helping myself here, am I?
How did I manage to strike up a conversation with a man I’m actually interested in in the process of deleting my profile? What were the chances? Honestly? Of all the boys I have conversations with, and some girls too, barely any of them giving me flirty butterflies like this new one is.
How the hell am I going to explain this to One Ball? Because I’m going to have to tell him that I’m moving on, right? Isn’t that proper? To warn them of the impending Facebook love?
I’m getting a bit carried away here. It’s just some flirty banter.
It might not even go anywhere yet …
