Soundtrack: Too Close by Alex Clare.
I need to tell you something. You’re going to judge me for it, and that’s totally okay. I’ve toyed with telling you or hiding it from you – but what’s the point in having a totally anonymous sex and dating blog on the internet, then hiding stuff? So, here it is: I did a bad thing. What? Well, it involves Grey. (Because OF COURSE it does.)
It Started with a Text
Grey sent me a text: “Hey, you. What’s happening?”
My heart almost stopped when I saw his name. Ummm… what? Why was he getting in touch? What did he want this time? I mean, I knew full well what he wanted, but I wanted him to say it.
“Do you remember how it felt with my fist inside you?” he said.
Oh, no. He went there. Talk about dive right in. Blimey. I tried to laugh it off and divert the conversation elsewhere, but we somehow ended up right back where we started. It would’ve been the perfect time to tell him that I had a boyfriend now. A good boyfriend. One that meant an enormous amount to me, and no, I wasn’t interested in cheating on him.
I didn’t say those things, though. Why didn’t I? I have no idea. The words were right there at the end of my fingertips, but I didn’t tap them out. I didn’t tell him. I couldn’t.
So, he carried on. His texts got filthier and filthier, using our old sexual experiences as a new form of foreplay… and it was working. It was turning me on immensely. And it was so, so wrong. I knew it. I felt it. But for some reason I couldn’t stop it.
Grey told me that he had his cock in his hand, and I encouraged it. I mean, it’s not like *I* was doing anything wrong, was it? My hands weren’t between my thighs. I hadn’t taken my clothes off. Not until afterwards, when the call was done and dusted, and it was time for me to climb into bed, anyway. But technically, I hadn’t done anything wrong. That’s what I told myself over and over again. We were just reminiscing. I wasn’t responsible for what he did with his cock on the other end of the line. Anything to justify things in my head – to justify… cheating. I was cheating on my boyfriend with an ex-non-boyfriend.
What the fuck was I doing?
The Radar
Grey has always had a radar for my happiness. Even without us talking, texting, anything, Grey just knows when I’ve gotten into a new relationship and on my way to being happy. He did the same thing with The Lapdog back in the day, and almost with my Ex-Husband, too. Oh, and The Married Guy. I should’ve sided with him over those latter two, but we live and learn.
He swoops in, promises me mind-blowing sex (that he’ll definitely deliver,) refuse to acknowledge the fact that I want a real relationship, fuck up my current relationship, and then leave again without so much as a backwards glance.
I know better now… don’t I? Haven’t I played his games enough times, for enough years, to know that we won’t ever be in a proper relationship? We are friends with benefits; nothing more, nothing less. He has shown me that, told me that, and proven that, time and time and time again. And some more times after that, too.
Know better, I might… but that didn’t stop me from horny texting him back until he was all done and jizzed out. What the fuck is actually wrong with me?
Thankfully, our horny conversation died out just as it always does once one or both of us climaxed, and I went back to not textually cheating on my boyfriend again.
Fuck, you guys. I did a bad thing. A bad, bad, bad thing. One of these days, I’ll learn… but apparently not today. The next blog post in the dating timeline is this one: How to Make Her Love You in 69 Days.
Thank you so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
Would you like to read all about Jock’s story, right from the very beginning? You’ll find that right here.
If you’re interested in My Mr. Grey’s chapter, you’ll find that here.
You can also read all about my disastrous dating history, right from the beginning, right here: Table of Dating Contents.
Alternatively, why not have a little peek around here:
