Am I Overreacting Again?

It happened again. Remember a couple of weeks ago I was raging angry because I had primped and preened and gotten myself all beautiful for a naughty night in with Jock and nothing happened? Well I did it again, and he fell asleep on me again. I’m starting to wonder if there is any point to this?

First of all, I am aware that I am possibly overreacting a bit here. But I’m a girl and that’s what we do. Secondly, you’ve not heard the whole story yet so don’t judge me. Let me fill you in…

He’s working nights and we hadn’t seen each other for AGES! Like a week and a bit I think. He asked when he could see me next and I came up with a brilliant plan. On Friday morning, he could come to mine after his work shift, sleep for a few hours and then we could spend the rest of the day together and do stuff when he woke up at 1/2pm. Sounds good, right? I also told him that he shouldn’t come if he was going to be really tired. I’ve been there before after his night shift and all I’ve done is watch him sleep. I love the guy but I don’t need to watch him sleep, and I just get bored and when I get bored, I get grumpy. He said no. He would come. Everything would be fine. Of course it would…. Sarcastic face.

He arrived bearing gifts – McDonalds breakfast to be precise. We ate in bed and chatted for a little while and I suggested that he sleep. He wasn’t tired yet… Long story short, he didn’t fall asleep until 12/1pm, and he slept right through until 5pm. So much for us spending the day together. While he slept, I did his laundry, I washed my kitchen floor, I did some writing… By the time he had woken up, not only was I bored but well and truly fed up as well.

The usual bullshit commenced – what did we want to do? Where did we want to go? Did we want to go out for dinner or should he run and get groceries and cook? Honestly, this man can’t make a decision to save his life and at this point, he was really gripping my shit. I was annoyed. Make a fucking decision. He decided that he could go and get groceries and surprise me with dinner, while I got in the shower and primped and preened for him. His words – “Go shave your beaver, I wanna go down on you later”

Now, my bikini line had been left to its own devices for a little while so I could book myself in for a wax. I made things perfectly clear to him – if you’re tired (which he kept complaining) then why don’t we just chill out in bed later? My bikini area could then be left to its own devices so I could have said wax. To be honest, I had kinda guessed that he would probably fall asleep on me. But no, he was adamant. He wanted to enjoy my golden delights later so therefore I should get ready for him.

He went to get groceries and I commenced with the usual routine – shaving, exfoliating, buffing, painting, washing, plucking, etc. It took me a whole 40 minutes in the shower to get myself baby smooth and smelling delicious, and I followed all of this up with that African Shea Butter moisturiser that he goes crazy for. Matching bra and panties on, I was ready for the evening frivolities….

Firstly, Bestie overstayed his welcome. Jock cooked dinner and Bestie hung around for ages afterwards. It’s not like I can tell him to leave – that would just be rude. He’s doing this a lot recently. Since we moved back in together, he’s always around. I don’t know how to tell him that he needs to stop using my bedroom as his first port of call whenever he comes in and out of the house, and that I need more of my own time and space. I feel constantly badgered, whether it’s by work, by Bestie or by Jock. Not in a nasty way…. I just need more space, you know?

I smoked a doobie and Jock and I got into bed. He put a film on and before you know it, he was snoring in my fucking ear again. What the fucking fuck? I tried to wake him up but it only took a few minutes before I realised my struggle was in vain. There was no waking up this fucking snoring animal. For fucks sake.

His snoring kept me awake ALL FUCKING NIGHT so by the time my alarm clock went off for work on Saturday morning, I was fuming.

He took me to work but we didn’t exchange pleasant words. He asked if I was pissed off and I told him flat out – yes I fucking was. Now, not only did I not get laid, but I can’t book my wax either. He laughed at me. Big mistake. He also asked “Is it always about sex?”

Yes, it is all about sex. I see you once a fucking week, if that, and you can’t be bothered to put in the effort to make sure that I get a good seeing to, even though I was wearing matching lingerie and once again, was supermodel smooth and smelling like sex. I don’t expect you to shave your balls or primp or preen like I do. All I want is for you to go down on me and then lie there while I ride you. That’s all I fucking wanted. It wouldn’t even have taken that damn long!!!

Let the fight commence. It’s gonna be like one of those 6-day silence fights again. I can already feel it. Anyway, after our fight, we didn’t say a word to each other as I got ready for work, we walked to the car, and then he dropped me off. It was half an hour earlier than I needed to be there so I asked him if he needed to shoot off right away. I know I was pissed at him, but I didn’t want to leave him and go to work in a foul mood. “Nope. I gotta go” was his reply. I got out and slammed the door. Fuck him.

“Thanks for dropping me off to work so early and then fucking off. I have half an hour to kill now. Thanks! I guess I’ll see you when I see you.” 

Yep, that’s right. I’m fucking mad.

He always laughs at me when I have my little huffs and to be honest, it’s really starting to fucking piss me off. When I get the hump, I get the hump for a reason. When I try to talk to him about, he laughs it off and turns it into a big joke. Either that or he turns it around and says something along the lines of – “It doesn’t matter how many good things I do for you. You’re always going to focus on the ONE thing I did wrong, aren’t you?”

OK, so he makes a fair point but that’s neither here nor there. He went and bought groceries and cooked me a nice steak for tea, granted. To be fair, he gave me rare steak and he knows I don’t like steak anything other than well done. That’s not the point.

I’m pissed because he always laughs when I have a problem, and it turns into a big fight because I don’t feel like I’m being listened to. Sex is a sensitive subject for me, especially with the way that Big Love used to use it as a way to punish me or control me. When I get turned down, I take it personally. Find me any girls that doesn’t.

I work hard to keep myself looking good for this man. I know that with the right combination of underwear with THAT perfume and THAT body lotion, I can drive him crazy, so when I do all of those things, I expect him to fucking put out. It really is as simple as that.

No, it’s not all about sex, but I enjoy sex with him so when I don’t get it, of course I will be pissed!

Am I overreacting again?