Tag: Anal

Bear True Tales 

Anal FOMO: My 30-Something Anal Crisis

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It’s been 17 months. That’s how long Bear and I have been together. Something like that. He keeps count more meticulously than I do. I’m useless with dates. I’m useless with most things that are important, especially as far as numbers are concerned. 17 months doesn’t sound like that long when you think about it. At the same time, it’s the longest time in the world. We moved in together way too early — around the six-month mark — but I wouldn’t say it hindered us at all. It might…

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Bear Dating Sex 

“Let’s Try Anal!”

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Everyone everywhere seems to be talking about anal sex and I keep thinking I should probably have my input. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it a few times over the last four years or so, maybe I should go back and read what I’ve written before? But what’s the big deal all of a sudden? I mean, I know it’s always been a big deal but recently, with boys and girls included, it seems to be the main topic of conversation. Oh, this post is #NSFW by the way. I’ve only…

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Dating Dating Advice Sex The Director True Tales 

Slut: Analysed

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So, the hangover seems to have subsided somewhat and I’ve had some time to focus and think back over the stuff that happened on my date. I am genuinely not impressed with my dumbass behaviour. I shouldn’t have slept with him. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. He’s been regaling me with tales of our night (and enjoying it a little too much for my liking, too) but I’m not sure where Little Miss Promiscuous came from. I need to put her back in the cage she clearly…

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Everything BUTT… (Yes, I’m talking about anal sex)

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Sometimes I come across a blog post so brilliant, I have to share it and today it happened to me again. Life of a Lover Girl posted I’m anal about anal but(t) and I found myself empathising with every word she said. Anal is something I’m not all that into. With The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of, I made it a feature too early on in the relationship so it was the be-all and end-all of our sex life towards the end. He wasn’t small in the trouser department…

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Dating One Ball Sex True Tales 

The Riding Crop

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  “Is that your boyfriend over there?” my work colleague asked me, pointing to the door. “Oh my fucking god, yes it is. Why’s he still dressed like that … ?” On the first night that One Ball was at mine, he decided that he would pick me up from work still wearing his military uniform. “I know you’re not done for another fifteen minutes, but take a look in that bag and give it some thought while I go and grab us a couple of coffees,” was all One…

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Dating One Ball Sex The Lapdog True Tales 

The Riding Crop, The Proposed Threesome and a Brown Derby

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One Ball has been and gone again. He’s gone back to his army base, a good two-hours drive away from where I live, and we’ve made no more plans to see each other for at least another four weeks. Four long and miserable weeks. I forgot just how much long-distance relationships sucked. As always, I slept perfectly for the entire time he was here. No nightmares, no random waking up in the middle of the night, just blissful rest and sleep. Well, it was almost blissful; there was one night…

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Dating Number 1: My First Boyf The Boy On Pills The Tie-Me-Up Guy 

When Was Your First Time…? (Part One)

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There’s nothing like a good bit of reminiscing about past lovers when you’re experiencing a dry spell in the sex/love department. That’s what I did today, at work, talking about firsts. Those moments in life that change it forever. You know the ones I mean: the first kiss, first fuck, first sexually awakening moment, first heartbreak, yadda, yadda. I thought it might make for a good blog post. Plus, I’m in the mood to talk about it and reminisce some more, so I apologise in advance if this gets a…

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The Guy I Couldn't Get Rid Of True Tales 

I Think We Need To Break Up

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I think it’s time for my current guy [The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of] and I to break up, part ways, whatever you want to call it. It’s a shame, but I really don’t think he’s the kind of guy I’m looking for. Do you want to know when I realised that? Half-way through our fuck last night, that’s when. Great timing, as always. And as discussed in Anal Sex – What’s the Deal?, he wanted to put his dick in my ass again. I said no, he tried…

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The Guy I Couldn't Get Rid Of True Tales 

Anal Sex – What’s the Deal?

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This is NOT a sexy blog post. There’s poo talk, peeps. I’d call this one more of a cautionary [and fucking embarrassing] tale. I’ve got a question for you: What’s the obsession between men and anal sex lately? *I’m not deliberately gender stereotyping. I’ve just had more men than usual trying to crawl into my ass than women. Don’t get me wrong, if anal sex is on the menu, I’ll order it from time to time, but if I’m being really honest, I don’t actually get anything from anal play.…

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