NSFW / Sex True Tales 

Two, Maybe Three Times

“Babe, I’ll be back in a bit. Just getting dinner stuff. Love you!” As soon as I hear the door shut I spring into action, starting by turning the TV down so I can hear if he comes back sooner than expected. I then throw myself on the bed and reach into the bottom drawer of the cabinet, floating my hands over the array of toys staring back at me. Which one should I pick today? If he’s only getting dinner stuff, I’ve probably got around 15 minutes before he…

Read More
Bear Mental Health My Dating Life The Lapdog 

And So I Write

The thing about not having sex with your boyfriend is the entire world seems to know about it. And no, it’s not because I told everyone. I only told you lot. I don’t know how they know, everyone else. But they know. They must do. There can’t be any other reason as to why every fuckboy in my past, and a few I haven’t even met yet, decided to enter my inbox during my eight-month stint of abstinence. All I wanted was Bear’s dick, but all I got was an…

Read More
Big Love My Dating Life My Mate's Date's Mate 

Collateral (Number 40)

Did you ever have sex with someone just because you thought you ought to, not because you really wanted to? And before I continue, I don’t want this to sound like a non-consent story. It’s not … I don’t think. I’m fairly certain I gave some kind of consent, but I’m not really sure why I did. Or what the consent was. Let me explain and tell you the story of Number 40. My Mate’s Date’s Mate I was on the other side of the world and my mate was…

Read More
Bear Mental Health My Dating Life 


“Oh my God, Zzzap! Do you remember that TV show?”  That’s what I asked Bear today after seeing something pop up on Facebook. I was sat kinda hugging him, half sat on one of his legs, his laptop delicately balanced on the other. We were laughing at funny cat videos. Well, one funny cat video. The one where the baby tiger jumps out at the adult tiger and scares the shit out of it. Then some meme thing popped up, talking about Zzzap! and various other old-school TV shows.  “I’ve…

Read More
Bear Featured My Dating Life NSFW / Sex 


Right, quit fucking about now. Fuck me. Or let me fuck you. I don’t care which way around it is, I just need to feel your dick inside me and your hands on my naked body and your lips … don’t even get me started on just how much I’ve been thinking about your lips. We’re on eight months-ish of abstinence now. Whatever strength I had before is fading away. I’m no longer calm. I don’t want to be patient or understanding. I’m not in the mood to make jokes…

Read More
My Dating Life NSFW / Sex The Lapdog True Tales 


Soooooo, do you remember a blog post I shared a little while ago called I Miss My Twenties? Well, it seems that if you talk about ’em, they’ll pop up. And pop up he did … This blog post is dedicated to him. ***** You always seem to message me on Saturday nights. I’m guessing that’s because Saturday night was always our night. Everyone else would be out partying, but not us. We’d be sat in your car somewhere, talking shit, kissing, touching, listening to music. I’m listening to our…

Read More
Me & My Opinions 

Kate and Dave

Today, I would like to talk about my neighbours. I should probably call them slightly better names than just “shit cunt A” and “shit cunt B”, the names that Bear and I have given them. What shall I call them? Let’s call them Kate and Dave. Kate and Dave are a young couple, no older than 22 I’m guessing. She’s pregnant and has just 20 days until she’s due to give birth, and he’s a crack dealer. How do I know this? Because they argue on the stairs of our…

Read More
Me & My Opinions 

Why Can’t I Just Unfollow You?

If I’ve unfollowed you on Twitter/Instagram/wherever, it’s because something you said upset me, made me feel really uncomfortable, or angered me. I’m not the kind of person to start random arguments on the internet (not a fan of the confrontation), so I’d rather just get over it, remove the problem, and then not think about it again. Unless it makes me so angry that I need to write a blog post about it, obviously. Isn’t that what the unfollow button is for? Or the block button? Or the mute button?…

Read More
Fiction (ish) NSFW / Sex 

Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored

You got me some type o’ way. Yes, you. You don’t know who you are, but I do. Not that I really know you, but I know some of what you’re about – and what I know, I like. I shouldn’t, but I do. I know exactly what’s going on here, don’t worry. I’m bored. Affection-starved. In need of passion and excitement. I’m not going to do anything stupid, because I’m not stupid, but my mind is wandering. As are my hands. And it’s you I’m thinking about tonight. You.…

Read More
Bestie Me & My Opinions 

The [Fri]end.

This isn’t the blog post I was going to post today. I was having an awesome day, being super-productive, getting shit done, formatting all those other posts I’ve got stashed away … and then BOOM. A cheeky little message to make me cry. Awesome.  To be honest, I don’t even know why it made me start crying. Fucking outrage than anything else, I think, because I was expecting the scenario at some point. I actually thought it might have happened by now, and there were times when I thought about…

Read More