How Many Times Can You Blow Someone Out Before They Dump You?
I’ve blown Someone New out so many times now, I’m not even sure if we’re still in a relationship. It’s been about four weeks since I last saw him. I’ve cancelled our plans for the last three occasions. I’m starting to forget what he even looks like, that’s how long it’s been. But it’s not because we haven’t tried. Every time we try to plan something, other stuff comes up.
There was the time I had a shitty day because one of my clients disappeared off the face of the earth without paying me a fairly hefty amount of money for a project I’d put a lot of work into. And then there was the day I had a really bad stomach and didn’t dare leave the house. There was another day we planned to hang out that I had to bail last minute because I got called into my other job, and then there was another time that my washing machine broke down and left my kitchen flooded and a closet devoid of any clothes I’d actually want to wear …
Life just keeps getting in the way. Maybe someone somewhere is trying to tell me something?!
I feel bad to keep blowing him out as I have been, but it’s not done anything to deter him from pursuing me. In fact, quite the opposite has happened. He’s MORE interested. Just look at this:
What am I supposed to say to that? I haven’t seen the guy in four weeks and I barely remember what his face looks like without looking at pictures. I decided to take the honest approach because that seemed to be the right thing to do.
It was, right? The right thing to do? I was going to say those things to him eventually; I’d planned for it. But, you know, with all the plans that kept going awry, I just never got the chance to actually sit down and talk to him. I didn’t want to say it via texted message, but since he’d just dropped that little bombshell on me, I felt I had no other choice. I was forced to face the elephant in the room, so to speak, and have the conversation via WhatsApp.
And how do I feel about him? I don’t know. I care about him, I know that, but do I love him? No, I don’t think I do. Not yet. Maybe soon, but definitely not yet. There have been times that I’ve blown him out just to stay home and work because I love working more than I love seeing him. Not all the time, just sometimes. But that’s not a cool thing to say, right? If I was that into him, I’d want to see him all the time. I’d jump on the choice of … well, jumping on his dick. But I’m not. He’s lovely and handsome and a thoroughly decent chap, it seems, but I just don’t think he fits on me quite right. I’m not sure what the problem is, but there’s definitely a problem.
We’ve made another date for Saturday night and I’m half-hoping something comes up and ruins our plans, half-hoping that none of that happens and it all sails along nicely. He’ll definitely ditch me if I blow him out again, I reckon, and I don’t know if I want that any more than I want him spilling his guts out about how he feels about me. And I do feel bad. If this was the other way around – him blowing me out all the time and treating me like I’m a bit disposable – I’d hate it. I’d be cussing him down to the ground for it. Do you remember how fucking pissed off I’d get when Jock blew me out? I’m glad Someone New doesn’t have half the rage I do, otherwise, there’d probably be endless blog posts moaning about me somewhere. But I do feel bad and I do feel sorry. I am sorry. I want him to be everything I want, and there are times when I genuinely think he could be. But then, in just one breath, everything changes and I want to run a million miles in the other direction.
I don’t know. I’m half disappointed that I didn’t get to see him and half happy that our plans were repeatedly fucked up. Maybe I’m just going through a shit time? I’ll see what happens on Saturday. Maybe things will change and I’ll be back on his side again?
Watch my period arrive on the day I plan to go see him and totally fuck up my plans for seduction …
It would be just my luck!
Read what happened next (on Saturday) –
BECAUSE IT’S SHARK WEEK?
Photo by Andrew Buchanan on Unsplash
