That Time I Hid in An Alleyway
Friends, I’ve got an embarrassing story to tell you, and it resulted in… well, that the title says: I hid in an alleyway. It all started yesterday, when I got a text, totally out of the blue, from Number 5: The Fireman.
“I live just around the corner from you now, and I’m at a loose end tonight. Would you like to come round for a drink? See the new pad?”
Yes, of course I wanted to go for a drink and see the new pad – and that wasn’t all.
Fireman is the ex that never really goes away. We won’t hear from each other for months, maybe even years; then one day, out of the blue, just like yesterday, one of us will text the other.
Let’s go for a drink = let’s fuck.
It has always meant that.
I rushed home from work, showered, shaved, primped n’ preened to within an inch of my life, wore my hair in that way he always liked, applied a little more makeup than usual, and spritzed myself with my favourite perfume.
Next, I selected my favourite set of lingerie, put it on, chose a relatively innocent outfit to go over the top, and walked my ass right round to his house… all of two minutes away.
We did what we always did: had a few drinks, reminisced, and laughed about embarrassments gone by. It wasn’t long before the conversation turned to sex, just like it always did.
He looked at me in that way.
I looked at him in that way.
Then, I got up from my chair, sassed myself over to his, and leaned in for the kiss…
He pulled back. “No.”
Whaaaaat?
Well, that’s never happened before.
He’s always said – and I quote: “You’re the only girl I can’t ever say no to.” So, why’s he saying no? The promise of sex was the only reason I’d said yes.
“Um, I’m dating this girl now,” he said, avoiding my gaze.
Okay, well, that’s fair enough… but couldn’t he have said that BEFORE I’d spent three hours getting ready for sex I wasn’t ever going to get? That aside, dating someone else had never stopped him from hopping into bed with me before, so I guess this one’s super special.
“We’ve been dating for a year now,” he told me. “I’ve grown up a lot. I love her. I can see a future with her.”
Great. I mean, I’m happy for him and all, but what kinda mixed signals bullshit was this?! Why invite me over for a drink, like all of our booty calls before, if he wasn’t going to booty call me? We’re not friends… we’re ex-lovers. Are we meant to be friends?!
I finished my third or fourth drink, then made my excuses… but I didn’t go home. Oh, no. Rather than doing the sensible thing, heading home, and sliding myself into bed, my slightly tipsy self decided to wait for him to change his mind.
I was actually furious that I wasted my now shaven hoohah on him. I wouldn’t have got date ready if I’d have known that it wasn’t an actual fuckin’ date. And, apparently, I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet.
Texts were exchanged.
Thanks for the drink. Let me know when I can hop on your dick again (in a slightly less crude way.) Blah, blah, blah.
I waited some more. I hung around in the alleyway between his street and mine, more pissed than I thought I was, waiting for that ex-boyfriend to change his mind and have sex with me.
He didn’t, obviously. That didn’t stop me from hanging around in the alleyway for MORE THAN ONE HOUR, dying for a wee but still not yet willing to admit defeat.
Eventually, the weather changed. I couldn’t stand and wait in the rain, could I? That was the point at which I admitted defeat, went home, and cried myself to sleep. I’m dramatic like that.
I don’t like being turned down. I know nobody likes getting turned down, but this time was especially humiliating. It was as though he waited for me to initiate it before dropping that huge bomb on me. I’m actually a bit proud of him for not taking what was handed to him on a plate but fuck him. I think he did it deliberately. I think he deliberately waited until that very moment for his news to have maximum impact.
Like, what did you call me for, then?
We ain’t friends, boy.
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
You can read all about The Fireman, from start to finish, right here.
If you’re in the market for something else to read, why not take a peek here:
That would make me mad!! He knew you were assuming sex. Its the type of thing women do to men, not so much vice versa. Sorry.
That’s the thing! That’s what we do! We fuck! We don’t talk for months then one of us texts the other and BOOM! WTF?! He fed me wine, he put on “our” music…. Douchebag!
Yeah, it sounds like he was playing with you somehow. I wonder if he was trying to be a jerk or trying to get you to want him more. UGH, how frustrating. I did used to have a guy that would have sex with me then afterwards act like he wanted to do it again and get me all amped up and say he had to go now. He was definitely trying to leave me wanting for more the next time and it worked but it also pissed me off. So sometimes guys do play those little games. I am really puzzled by your guy’s behavior so I can’t imagine how annoying it is to you!!
See that’s the other thing – aside from a “How are you feeling text” for the hangover, I’ve not heard from him… Random. Maybe he just had a change of heart?
I don’t know, but me I would probably try to turn it around on him somehow. You look your best and act flirty when you see him but leave HIM wanting you more. Like “too bad you are in a relationship” wink, wink. But, I am evil like that. I would try to make him regret his “decision”. I fully admit I can’t handle rejection though. It is hard being a woman with a high sex drive. :p
Oh, honey, I feel ya! Next time he gets in touch, I’m totally going with your plan! Evil giggle! 🙂
Oddly enough, after reading this blog my main guy invited me over saying he wasn’t in the mood for sex tonight he was too tired. I’m all WTF, but I guess guys can be too tired for sex. :p He still wanted to see me and snuggle and watch movies and admittedly I was kinda pissed but I went over and he ended up wanting to cuddle naked and later we had sex. So much for that. LOL
Hahaha, that’s brilliant! Well done girl!