Soundtrack: This Is the New Shit by Marilyn Manson.
Do you remember in my first blog post about The Postman, when I said this: “He seemed really unavailable sometimes for a boyfriend that literally lived around the corner from me. Still, everything else was practically perfect in every day, so why would I worry…?” Well, I’d like to come back to that today. You see, after my Birthday Party, things changed between us. He seemed… well, half in, really. And when someone is half in, they’re half out, too.
So, I decided to ask him about it.
First, though, I had to actually ‘catch’ him.
Half Out
The Postman had cancelled or rearranged two ‘dates’ in a row. First, there was a band thing; then, there was a work thing. I didn’t mind that so much, you know? Work is work, and band stuff is band stuff. I signed up for all of that when I decided to start a relationship with him.
On his third attempt to cancel our date, though, I started to realise that my relationship wasn’t as perfect as I’d been telling people – even before the dramatic birthday party business. There were times when he was unavailable for seemingly no reason. Dates/events/occasions had been cancelled or rearranged for reasons that made sense at the time… but then didn’t afterwards. Reasons turned into excuses, which then turned into utter ridiculousness. I grew suspicious.
Bestie was responsible for some of my suspicions, to be fair.
Why would he need to do that at work?
It makes no sense that he’d had to do this after work, because of X, Y, and Z.
So-and-so does that job, too. He’s not being called in like The Postman is. There’s something going on here.
I’d defended The Postman, of course. He was my boyfriend; why wouldn’t I defend him? After a while, though, and especially after the three cancelled dates + birthday party debacle, I had to agree that Bestie had a point. I mean, he was always right, so of course he had a point.
“I need to talk to you,” I text The Postman. Deliberately. In a way that Bestie and I agreed would fuck him up the most. The idea was, he’d shit his pants and reply or call immediately. Unfortunately, though, that didn’t happen. I didn’t hear back from Postman for three whole days. I well and truly lost my mind in those three days.
“Hey, sorry, busy with work,” he replied. “You okay?”
We agreed to meet at mine, later that night, under the promise that Bestie wouldn’t be around. That felt like a bad sign, but I promised anyway. Whatever it took to get him to sit down and talk to me.
Half In
Half an hour after the time that we’d agreed upon, The Postman knocked on my door. I offered him a beer, opened two, then we sat down on the couch together.
“Is it really work stuff keeping you busy?” I asked, trying to be as nonchalant as possible but failing miserably.
“Honestly, yes,” he replied. “Between that, the band, and my dad, I’ve barely had time to think, let alone anything else.”
It made sense to me. Perhaps it shouldn’t have, but it did. I believed The Postman when he said that. I mean, why wouldn’t I? He’d never given me a reason to doubt him… well, aside from that one shower incident. But after a few days, I could swallow my pride and put the whole thing down to playful, drunken banter.
The Postman agreed to stay the night, then we had really fun sex into the early hours. Great fun sex, too. He fucked all the doubts out of me, then did it again, just to make sure. It probably should’ve set off all sorts of alarm bells, but I was too dumb and naïve to realise that. I just lapped up his effort in the bedroom, then rallied around him, like a desperate housewife, afterwards.
Looking back, I cringe. I’m quite glad to not be that dumb and naïve now. Ish. Mostly.
Nothing changed after that night. The Postman stayed busy with work, dad, and band stuff; and I stayed oblivious to everything that was seemingly going on behind the scenes…
The next blog post in the dating timeline is this one: The Text.
Thank you so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
Would you like to read all about The Postman’s story, right from the very beginning? You’ll find that right here.
You can also read all about my disastrous dating history, right from the beginning, right here: Table of Dating Contents.
Alternatively, why not have a little peek around here: