UK Dating & Sex Blog | 12 Years of Graphic Detail | 18+
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From start to finish…
“Thank you, sweetheart,” I’d said to Big Love, throwing him a smile like I did with every customer before him. I didn’t know him then. He didn’t know me, either – but that was the first time he noticed me. It took one day plus a second meeting for me to notice him right back. “Who’s your American friend,” I’d said to my friend, who we’ll call Bobby. “He’s Canadian, dumbass,” Bobby laughed back. “And that’s Big Love.”
Read More“Get down on the ground!” I watched him fall to the floor, not quite knowing what to do. There was a lot of commotion around me, but the alarm hadn’t gone off yet. That was usually the first thing to alert us to the danger — loud, repetitive, and every bit as frightening as the event it was used to signify.
Read MoreI haven’t blogged for a while, and let me tell you why: NOTHING has happened. Literally nothing. Nada. There’s nothing going on in my life. Boring. I still haven’t had *that conversation* with My Mr. Grey, so things are still floating in the air like a stinking fart. In my head, we’re in a relationship, so I’m not actively pursuing anyone else. It’s been a month since I last saw him, and I’ve not had sex at all since then. It feels like it’s been a year, not a month.…
Read MoreI read my horoscopes the other day and it said that an old flame would get in touch. I’m not really a big believer of horoscopes, to be honest, but I did wonder at the time if The Fireman would contact me again after turning me down so spectacularly the other night. It turns out an ex did get in touch, just like that horoscope predicted, but it wasn’t The Fireman. It was someone I absolutely wasn’t expecting: Big Love. I’m still reeling … “Hi, I just thought I should…
Read More“What’s your idea of the perfect penis?” It’s a great question, right? A question I was recently asked in real life, but I answered it much more diplomatically than I’m about to answer here. My IRL answer was something along the lines of: “Oh, you know, size isn’t important. I just like a regular penis, mostly.” But now I’m about to give you my HONEST answer. I hope you’re sitting comfortably … In my opinion, Big Love had the most perfect penis. He was my first ever circumcised penis, and…
Read MoreIt’s midnight on Sunday night. Well, Monday morning now. I couldn’t sleep, so I started watching 500 Days of Summer. Why? Because Google told me to. I did some research into how to get over your ex-boyfriend, because honestly, at this point, I’m up for trying anything. Absolutely anything. I’m trying everything that everyone tells me to try: date new people, pick up new hobbies, hang out with your friends, get fit, get a haircut, get your nails done, etc. None of it’s working, though. I’m no closer to being…
Read MoreAnother day, another breakup movie. This time, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I find Russell Brand pretty funny, so this one made me laugh more than cry, but I definitely felt the breakup vibes in this one. You know how he turned into a blubbering mess trying everything in his power to forget the ex-girlfriend? Yeah, that’s me. Except I hide my blubbering mess-ness into my bedroom so that other people can’t see. I just tell you lot about it. I’m having a tough time right now. I’ve had no plans over…
Read MoreI’ve been quiet recently. Sorry about that. It’s been a busy few days, but I thought it might be time to update you all with what’s been happening in my life. Are you ready? Drink in hand? Snacks close by? Then I shall begin … Big Love Let’s start with the Big Love obsession. Because, at this point, there’s no way it’s not an obsession. I was happily trundling through my two-week breakup crash course of sad, soppy movies that would absolutely make me cry, until, just like that, I…
Read MoreThis weekend has been a weird mixture of emotions. I went to see the new Twilight film with Bestie, had a mini moment of fear with One Ball, and reminisced about my former life with the Big Love. Crazy stuff for a weekend, I tell ya. Crazy stuff. This time last year, I went to see the last Twilight film with my favorite gal pal on the other side of the world. Big Love and I were on one of the together phases of our together/not-together cycles, but he refused to…
Read MoreIt would have been our three-year anniversary today. Mine and Big Love‘s anniversary, I mean. I’m hurting. A lot. Maybe I’m just being melodramatic? My heart hurts. Physically hurts. It feels heavy. It still feels like there’s a big part of my life missing even though he hasn’t been in it for some time now. Some days, I wake up and it all feels like it happened a thousand years ago. Other days, though? It feels like it all just happened yesterday. Like I’m still in the thick of grieving.…
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