Soundtrack: Hide U by Kosheen.
Today, I’d like to start The Lapdog chapter, which is a long and seemingly never-ending one… and a pretty passionate one at times. Get yourself comfortable, folks. It all starts in the pub…
“Hiya, NotSo, you alright? Can I get two pints, please? Also, here’s my brother’s number. He thinks you’re cute.”
There was never a dull day in The Admiral, and this day was no exception. I was working a Friday night close, so it was packed to the rafters in the way that pubs used to be in those days. There were squaddies from wall to wall – my usual targets. Tonight, it seemed, I’d been the target for someone else.
I looked over to where my friend was pointing, to see a gangly lad in skater jeans, an oversized hoodie, and a baseball cap meekly smiling at me. He wasn’t exactly my normal type, but there was something about him. I couldn’t quite place my finger on it, but there was definitely something. These days, I’d probably call it Big Dick Energy, but that wasn’t a thing yet. The iPhone wasn’t even a thing yet.
I smiled back as I took the number from my friend’s hand and slipped it into the pocket of my jeans. I wasn’t sure that I’d actually use it, but I wanted it… just in case.
Closing Time
We didn’t really get a chance to chat that night as the bar was super busy, but every time I looked over at him, he was already looking at me. I couldn’t work out if it was cute or creepy. He was smiling, so that was something at least.
When I rang the bell for last orders, I saw him walk over to the end of the bar, then signal for me to come over.
“I’d like to drive you home,” he said. “I’m Lapdog.”
It was the early 2000s and nobody gave a shit about personal safety in those days, so I introduced myself back and took him up on his offer. Why wouldn’t I let a complete stranger drive me home after a long night at work? I mean, he wasn’t a complete stranger; he was my punter/friend’s brother. Safe as pie. (Hardly.) My alternative was walking the twenty minutes home, which I did on a regular occasion, at two or three in the morning, depending on how long the bar closing process took.
I wasn’t just using him for the ride, though. For someone who wasn’t my type, Lapdog had well and truly captured my attention. It wasn’t a crush… but it was something. I got a whiff of him as he offered me the ride home, and he smelled delicious. Cigarette smoke and beer, sure… but the slightest hint of cologne and his natural scent, too. I can still remember it. It was a really, really good smell.
I also wanted to steal his hoodie.
Stolen boy hoodies 4 life ❤️
Home Time
The Lapdog waited in his car for me to finish closing up. As soon as he saw me, he hopped out, then walked to the passenger side.
“Fancy going for a drive?” he asked, opening the door and beckoning for me to get inside.
And that’s just what we did, for two hours… in a Vauxhall Nova that was in the early stages of modification. I’d bagged myself a car boy, folks. Yawn.
Oh, you might be happy to learn that I did eventually steal that hoodie… and the seatbelt-style belt he was wearing, too. Hold on to your garments tightly, fellas; I’ll steal yours, too.
The next blog post in the dating timeline is this one: Vauxhall Nova.
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
Want to read all about The Lapdog’s story, right from the very beginning? You’ll find that right here.
You can also read all about my disastrous dating history, right from the beginning, right here: Table of Dating Contents.
Alternatively, why not have a little peek around here:
