The Business Proposal: Dissection of a Potential Date
So I’ve been chatting to a couple of guys online because that’s what I do in-between men. I chat up new men on the internet. It’s a little something to pass the time more than anything else, something to give me that flirty banter. But at the same time, every now and again, it unearths a hidden gem – a man that probably doesn’t belong on POF. Well, almost doesn’t belong.
Cue new man – 38 years old, distinguished, has his own business, car, no kids, etc. Oooh! Could this be a new hidden gem?
Ha. No.
Don’t start getting excited ladies and gentlemen, this new guy is NOT going to be the next chapter in my complicated love life. Not by any means. Oh no. This 38 year old still lives with his mother for a start but he said that was because he was starting his business. I’m sorry but if you’re closer to 40 than 30 when you chuck your hands up and go all-in on a new business venture, you’re either very smart or very stupid. That fact that he now lives with his mother says it all I reckon. Don’t you?
I didn’t let it get in the way of course. I’m not that shallow. Plus who am I to judge? I live in a house share with three other guys, one of which I can’t stand and another whose name I can barely remember. I’m certainly in no position to judge other people’s living arrangements but if he couldn’t even afford rent every month and had to move back in with his mother, you certainly need to ask yourself what the fuck was going on. Almost 40 and no kids, no real career, and no stability? You’re putting yourself right at the bottom of that pile mate. Especially when there are other hotter men chatting me up at the same time… These guys do appreciate they have competition right? You’d think they’d make a little more effort!
Things took a more sinister turn when he finally found out what I do for a living. I didn’t tell him everything of course, just the basics – the stuff he needed to know. The little things – I’m a writer, I take charge of various company’s social media sites, I have a couple of my own websites, and I write content for other people’s. He showed me his website and spoke about how boring and bland it was. I knew where this was going. I’ve been here before.
“Oh, you do websites? Cool. I’m starting up my own business / website and I need a hand. How much do you charge?”
Sorry, I thought I was looking for a date, not a new business connection. This is POF, not LinkedIn for fucks sake. Are you taking the piss? I don’t need any new clients than you very much and even I did, I wouldn’t be trawling some seedy internet dating site for that. Oh no, my work gets much more respect than my love life does that’s for sure! (Ha!)
It really irritated me. It made me wonder whether or not that had been the plan right from the beginning. I state what I do in my profile and I talk about it a little bit. Maybe I should take it out? It’s a conversation starter but it’s starting to be for all the wrong reasons. As I’ve said, this is POF not LinkedIn! Did he see that on my profile and just decide to strike up a conversation with me because of that? Looking back through the messages, there weren’t really any flirty undercurrents going through them. It was quite far removed from flirty banter. Maybe I had been a business proposal the entire time?
I don’t know. It just pissed me off. I just wanted to rant about it.
So here’s some advice – don’t treat dating like a business proposal. Or you’ll get blocked. Just like he did.
Next.
