Selfies
Would you like to know how many selfies I’ve taken with you in mind as the receiver, but never had the balls to send? Too many to count at this point. Tens, definitely. Maybe even hundreds. Some of them are deleted before they even have the chance to see the light of day, but a few of them? I’m dying to send them to you. I’ve gotten close a couple of times, inserting the image into the message box before promptly deleting it and berating myself for being foolish. I’m glad that I haven’t sent you any of them … but still, I’m DYING to.
Like that one selfie I took in a store changing room last week, trying on a new bra. My hair looked all big and bouncy and sexy framing my face, for once falling exactly where I wanted it to. On my lips was the red lipstick that I once told you I wanted to wear as I kissed all over your body, covering you with visible marks of my lust, a mess of smudges and prints that would allow me to see where I’ve been as well as where I’ve yet to be. And on my eyes was the mascara that I always save for special occasions because it costs a small fortune for such a little tube but I love the way it makes my lashes fan out and look almost as big as false ones.
I felt good in those changing rooms when I took that selfie. You can probably tell. It’s a sassy shot, as though I’m in the midst of doing something a little naughty, but oh so nice. I decided to treat myself to the bra I’d tried on, adding the matching thong to my basket, imagining what kinda expression you’d have as I revealed to you that I wearing it. It was the thought of you and your face that spurred me to wear the bright red lipstick that morning too, so unusual for such an ordinary day that everyone around me asked if I was planning on going somewhere special that night. I had to pretend to them that I was going out, that I did have plans to warrant such a bright burst of rouge.
What else was I supposed to do?
Explain how I’d absentmindedly grabbed and applied that lipstick as I got ready and daydreamed of smearing it in the changing room with you?
