The Lapdog True Sex Stories 

Harder

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Soooooo, do you remember a blog post I shared a little while ago called I Miss My Twenties? Well, it seems that if you talk about ’em, they’ll pop up. And pop up he did … This blog post is dedicated to him. ***** You always seem to message me on Saturday nights. I’m guessing that’s because Saturday night was always our night. Everyone else would be out partying, but not us. We’d be sat in your car somewhere, talking shit, kissing, touching, listening to music. I’m listening to our…

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Erotic Fiction 

Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored

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You got me some type o’ way. Yes, you. You don’t know who you are, but I do. Not that I really know you, but I know some of what you’re about – and what I know, I like. I shouldn’t, but I do. I know exactly what’s going on here, don’t worry. I’m bored. Affection-starved. In need of passion and excitement. I’m not going to do anything stupid, because I’m not stupid, but my mind is wandering. As are my hands. And it’s you I’m thinking about tonight. You.…

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Bestie 

The [Fri]end.

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This isn’t the blog post I was going to post today. I was having an awesome day, being super-productive, getting shit done, formatting all those other posts I’ve got stashed away … and then BOOM. A cheeky little message to make me cry. Awesome.  To be honest, I don’t even know why it made me start crying. Fucking outrage than anything else, I think, because I was expecting the scenario at some point. I actually thought it might have happened by now, and there were times when I thought about…

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I Wasn't Ready Sex Fails 

That Time I Wasn’t Ready

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Today, I’d like to talk about that time I wasn’t ready… also known as my first ever blowjob. It was every bit the failure that first-time sexual experiences tend to be, and it was bred from hours of laughing, kissing, and heavy petting in that way you do with your first ever partner. He’d drawn the curtains and closed the door, just as we always did when we went to his house. There was some film playing in the background. I can’t remember which. We’d been kissing for hours –…

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Erotic Fiction 

I Miss My Twenties

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Couples get a bit weird once they’ve been together for a while, don’t they? The Facebook album titled “The Big Night Out” ends up sprinkled with an unhealthy amount of nice hotel bathroom shots, images of towels folded into weird shapes on freshly-made beds, photos of plates of food so tiny that it must have been made for teeny-tiny people, and oh-so-obligatory elevator selfies.  Same pose, almost the same outfits, three nights in a row.  How much fun are these people really having if the bird-shaped towel on the bed…

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Erotic Fiction 

It Could Have Been a Great Night

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I’ve always wondered what it would have been like if we’d introduced a third party into our sex life. I know it’s a bit too late for what-ifs now, but I do wonder, just sometimes. And I think that’s one of my prominent life regrets: not saying yes when I was given the opportunity to have one last bite at the girl-boy-girl bullet. I imagine it would have been a glorious occasion. She’d be a brunette if I had the choice. I know exactly who I’d want it to be.…

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Bear Mental Health 

Six Months

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I haven’t had sex with my boyfriend for over six months. (It’s still Bear, by the way.)  Fuck me (literally). I said it. I actually said it. That’s the first time I’ve actually acknowledged it. Sat down, worked it out, jotted it down.  Six months. I bet you’re wondering what the fuck happened? Yes, well, so am I.  It started with me …  I was depressed. Very depressed. Couldn’t even get in the shower, brush my hair, or clean my teeth-depressed. But we’ll talk about that another time. Getting back…

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