The Lapdog True Tales 

Hot Right Now [Previously Unseen]

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Fun fact about this post: It’s been sat in my drafts for over two years. I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to publish something that featured a Class A drug so heavily and positively. But we’re all adults here, right? I did it, lived it, wrote about it … now I’m sharing it. Consider this your second content warning: this post goes into great detail about an NSFW night on MDMA (ecstasy), talking about it in a positive way. As a side note: I’ve been clean from all…

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Bear True Tales 

Wandering Hands

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I have a question: If my boyfriend is that disinterested in sex that we’re not having any of it [again], how come I keep waking up in the middle of the night with his hands down my pants?  Last night, for example. This morning, actually. 4:38 am, according to the clock. I found myself risen from my slumber, still in the dark, roused by something that was nice and annoying all at once. It took me a few moments to work out what it was: Bear’s hands. Bear’s hands rubbing…

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Fiction (ish) 

You’ve Missed Her

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You kiss her like you mean it; like you’re hungry for her lips to press and caress and move against yours. Your hands can’t help but roam as you do, stroking up and down her arms at first, but they soon move – as though they have a life of their own – to trail a finger against her cheek, to grapple and grab and yank her hair, to lightly-but-firmly grasp around her neck … You’ve missed her. You want her to look at you in that way she always…

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The Ex-Slut’s Guide to Ghosting & Getting Ghosted Dating Advice 

The Ex-Slut’s Guide to Ghosting & Getting Ghosted

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Ghosting: the modern-day vanishing act that’s less Houdini and more, “Wait… did they just forget I exist?” One minute you’re trading flirty texts and planning your next date, and the next? Poof! They’re gone, leaving behind only the faint echo of “Haha, you’re so funny,” and a breadcrumb trail of unanswered messages. We’ve all been there. Heck, I’ve got enough experience to write the guide to ghosting and getting ghosted!

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True Tales Featured 

Edged

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I’m blaming today on you. You. Yes, you. You know who you are. Today is your fault. The reason I’m tapping up this post right now? You. You kept talking about being edged like it was this big thing that I was missing out on — and wasn’t I missing out on it? Not getting what I wanted has never been something I’ve been brilliant at dealing with, my impatience driving me to come even when I’m told not to, so I’ve never paid much attention to the idea of…

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Toy Time [Reviews] 

Iroha Rin Review (It’s Amazing)

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It’s been quite a long time since I last got my hands on a new toy to play with, so I was literally hopping up and down with excitement when I learned that I’d won Little Switch Bitch’s Twitter contest and the lovely looking toy was was on its way to me. I waited in on delivery day, tracked the van at every step of its journey, and was practically at the front door before the chap even had a chance to ring the doorbell, reading to get started  on…

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Fiction (ish) 

Under the Lights

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“I love to watch you dance under the lights,” he said to me, right before he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I wanted more than anything for his lips to make contact with mine. I almost puckered mine together in hopeful expectancy, but I knew he wouldn’t kiss me the way I really wanted him to. “Dance under the lights for me a little more. I’d like to take a photo of you here,” he said to me, as he fumbled with the camera in his hand…

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Fiction (ish) 

Nudge, Nudge

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Spoon me, please. Throw your arms around me, draw me in close, and let my ass nestle into that space beneath your stomach where it fits so perfectly and snugly. I’ll do that little butt nudge you like. You know the one: a tiny little sign that’s barely a sign at all, subtle enough to almost miss but obvious enough to let you know exactly what’s on my mind. I’ll drop the nudge in casually like I’m stretching or positioning myself into your hug, but I’m really making sure your…

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