UK Dating & Sex Blog | 12 Years of Graphic Detail | 18+
I care a lot about people. All I want is for people to care about me in the same way and honestly, I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Sometimes I care too much, I do too much. I go out of my way to make sure the people I care about are happy and comfortable even when sometimes they don’t really deserve it. And what do I get out of it? Very little is the answer. I throw money at people even when I don’t have it…
Read MoreMy life seems to be full of ultimatums right now. Ultimatums and uncertainty. I hate it. The Dom and I were fighting. If The Director is in my life, The Dom won’t be. He also seems to think I won’t be able to have a relationship with someone who DOESN’T know and read the blog. Of course he would say that… wouldn’t he? And what does that even mean? It really struck a chord with me and it sent my head into overdrive. And now I can’t stop thinking about it.…
Read MoreI’ve figured out what I’m good at in life. Bad decisions. Bad decisions and sex. I think those are my two talents. Perhaps writing too? I made a whopper of a bad decision yesterday. After blowing The Director out like a good girl on Tuesday, Wednesday didn’t carry with it quite as much common sense. I agreed to meet him at 2pm for a ‘business meeting’. 2pm turned into 4pm. A business meeting turned into three bottles of wine. Final result… We finished half the work we said we were…
Read MoreI’m such a dick. Like, legitimately, the biggest dick in the world. You’ll be happy to know I’ve come to my senses in a roundabout kinda way. The Director, seeing him, helping him with his business stuff… It’s all a very bad idea. All of it. Even the slightest hint of him. I have genuine feelings for this man. I haven’t heard from him at all today and it has affected my mood a lot. I’m a grump. Quiet. Withdrawn. Tired. Pissed off. All of the above. It’s all in…
Read MoreI have no longer ‘relapsed’. I am ‘relapsing’. I know I’m doing it. I also know it’s probably a very bad idea. I’m doing it anyway. The Director. He’s back, for a while it seems. He sent a text, then I sent a text… Why? Why did I do that? What the fuck is wrong with me? This is a guy who fucked with my emotions and apparently didn’t even realise. He fucked with my head, he took the piss out of me and he didn’t take me or my…
Read MoreIt’s time for me to tell you about Someone New. He popped back up a while back and, as suggested, I stopped sending him messages back. I didn’t see the point. I’d known he wasn’t right for me for a long time when we were dating so getting into any kind of communication would just be pointless for us both. It would string him along and I’d end up having ‘fake feelings’. Because girls get those fuckers sometimes and they proper screw with your head. When I got the all-clear,…
Read MoreI made a boo-boo. Well, not so much a boo-boo as a huge fucking error of judgement. I text The Director. After 16 days of zero communication, I was doing so well. And then came the relapse. Ooops. It came thinly veiled as a favour. He told he wanted a specific car while we were dating so I asked a man who would know about such things if he could keep an eye out. The man who knows about such things sent me a text which I should pass on…
Read MoreI tried to take a step back from The Dom. Things were getting too complicated. He was starting to ask questions I didn’t know the answers to. When were we gonna meet? Why am I still flirting with other boys? Confused and more than a little pissed off with my own indecision, I finally made a decision. I cooled things off and then we had phone sex. Isn’t that how all good breakups go? (I say breakup in the loosest sense of the word. We weren’t actually together, together at any…
Read MoreYesterday was a shit day. I broke up with The Director. I was sick the entire day. I felt very sorry for myself. More annoyed by the breakup than I thought I would be and a little more hurt than I gave myself credit for too, the day just sucked. By the time 10pm came around, I was ready to say goodbye so I took a couple of sleeping pills, smoked a doobie and hoped to doze off into the world of nod. I did, for a couple of hours,…
Read MoreI have a boyfriend. I did try to break up with him but then he changed my mind. Simple enough right? Nope, not simple at all. Because not only do I have a boyfriend but I also have a Dom. The Twirtation, now renamed as The Dom, seems to have made me his Sub. Sorry, sub. I’ve learned capitalisation of that is important. In fact, I’ve learned a lot about being submissive. The dominating man I’ve dreamed of my entire adult life has apparently come along (at the WORST possible…
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