Hello Married High School Guy!

Okay… I’ve been Tweeting about this guy but now I feel he deserves a little post of his own. I’m pretty sure he’s flirting with me but he’s doing it in a really bad way. Let me start from the beginning.

So… Old high school guy messages me on Insta. Definitely flirting.
Definitely married too.
We weren’t even friends at school?

— NotSoSexintheCity (@notsosexintheci) February 4, 2016

He started following me a while back on Instagram. Every now and again, he drops in a cheeky like. I take a peek at him but his profile his private and I can’t see enough of his face in his profile picture to make out who he is. A couple of weeks roll by and he likes the odd selfie. He starts to comment. I still can’t work out who he is so I just click the ‘Follow’ button and hope for the best.

Ah, realisation – guy from high school. Background: Never dated, never friends, just in the same year and occasionally took the same classes in high school.  I take a peek through his photos – talk of nieces and nephews whom he dotes on by all accounts. Little hints of what could be his baby. No sign of a woman / wifey / GF in any picture. Is there a Mrs. High School Guy? (Which is now his name obviously…)

It started platonically enough, “Hey. How are you? Long time no speak.”

We chit-chatted about this and that. He asked me what I did with myself aside from dying my hair. I replied “Styling my hair?” because witty banter is my thing… Except it’s probably not. He remarked on my cheekiness and it went on from there.

I made him aware I knew he had a child coming, he asked about what I do for a living, we spoke about places we’d been around the world and what we’d been up to since high school. Honestly, things were platonically enough.

When I went to bed, I couldn’t sleep and at that time of the morning, stalking is my bedtime reading. I stalked him on Facebook where I noticed we weren’t friends (although we were before at some point) and he was married… To a girl I didn’t like in high school.

Now, before I go any further, I would just like to comment on the amount of my female high school friends who have hooked up with guys from our year at school. It’s like they’ve all gone right back to the circle of friends they started with, picked the ones they hadn’t already banged, and decided they were their last chance, getting hitched and babying up in quick succession.

Is this a thing now? Because I really don’t want to go back to anyone I met, knew or dated in high school. Na uh. Not at all.

High School Guy told me about one time he remembered us having a PE session at school and how we ended up in the same changing rooms at the swimming pool. I don’t remember this at all but clearly my inner ‘slut’ started appearing at an early age. He then told me that all he remembered was being “too much of a wimp to do anything.”

Okay, right, he’s flirting now. Right? This is no longer platonic conversation. That, if I’d been his wife, would have been right about the time I lost my shit. That’s when things crossed a bit of a line I think. No?

He told me I was keeping him company on the train and when I called him a charmer, he replied with, “You love it. You’re also enjoying mocking me so don’t complain.”

Yes, I admit, I’m enjoying the witty banter. Not because I want to date him or steal him away from his wife or anything like that, but because my memories of high school, and the people in it, are shit. And because innocent (?) flirting is fun. I was bullied in high school and I had a shitter of a time. He wasn’t one of the boys who bullied me but he wasn’t one of the boys who stood up to the bullies either. He was a no one. A non-entity. I didn’t and haven’t thought about him since high school. I probably never thought about him much back then either. He’s not exactly what I’d call attractive, not traditionally at least. But he’s quirky I guess? I happen to think he’s kinda cute.

But it was nice to show off what I’ve achieved since school and you know what, I’ve achieved a lot. A lot I’m proud of and would be happy to talk about. I never got the chance to go to my high school reunion. I don’t even know if there was one. I don’t care either, I wouldn’t have gone. I have nothing to prove and I wouldn’t grace most of them with a second of my time.

We talked about his job and a few of our likes and dislikes and it turns out, we’ve got a few things in common. Don’t worry, I still don’t want to steal him from his wife, I’m just saying.

I don’t get it. I don’t even think this guy has been married that long and he knows I know he’s got a baby on the way. Admittedly I don’t know the situation. He might not be with her anymore but their profile pictures on Facebook say something a little different.

He sent me a picture of a film he was watching on the train and you can clearly see his wedding ring in the reflection. I’m very aware you’re married mate, I’m not the one flirting. But what’s going on here?

He told me I was different from other girls because I’ve “got a brain” and I can “read and write” {fucking offensive}, and he finds my look very “appealing” and “attractive”.

YOU’RE A MARRIED FUCKING MAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Three days later and we’re still talking. He texts me first thing in the morning and all the way through until last thing at night. I wonder if he messages me before he says good morning to his wife…? Eye roll.

So yes, hello Married High School Guy and welcome to my life. What do you want? Because whatever it is, you’re not going to get it. I’m starting to wonder if it is my moral duty to tell his wife? Sisterhood and all that. But fuck that. That sounds like a whole heap of crazy I don’t want to get involved with.

I’ll just do what I do best and stop responding. Soon. Although I kinda want to know what he wants. No I don’t.

I totally do. I just want to be able to say no.