Category: Dating

CONTENT WARNING: contains details of non-consensual sex. One minute, Brown Eyes and I were screaming at each other in the middle of the living room and the next he was fucking me up against the draining board in the kitchen. It all happened so fast and I’m not entirely sure I wasn’t saying no as he didn’t even bother to unzip my jeans before tugging them around my ankles and shoving me up onto the countertop. In fact he even apologised afterwards if it had felt a little ‘rapey’ (his…

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There hasn’t been a single point where I thought I had fallen in love with Brown Eyes, I just, I don’t know, always loved him? I just do love him. It’s like we’ve been together a hundred years and we know each other. I know how he snaps and gets shirty with me when I get snappy and shirty with him over the phone first thing in the morning. I know to leave him alone to calm down for a little while and then message him later, forgetting the entire…

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Did you ever see that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie dates the musician guy with some sort of undiagnosed ADHD? Well… That’s what it’s like dating Brown Eyes. It’s lovely and all, he makes me laugh no end and he’s so adorably cute and cheeky, you can’t help but fall in love with him. But man is it exhausting. Everything with him is a hundred miles an hour, from the moment he wakes up in the morning to the moment he goes to bed at night and…

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I may have told Brown Eyes I wanted to have kids on date two but he told me he loved me on date three. Yep, that actually happened. He wins. Our battle of crazy is going into overtime and it’s starting to hit even crazier new heights. We were on the couch, naked, wrapped up in each other, basking in a post-orgasmic glory. He was spooning me from behind, his big, hairy, tattooed arms wrapped around me really tight. He took a deep breath, taking in the perfume still lingering in…

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And then I said something super dumb. Why did I say it? Because I was stoned and I got carried away with his nice words. Because I figured I might as well get all my cards on the table nice and early because what’s the point in wasting time if we know from the beginning it won’t work…? “I’m going to want kids someday. I’m almost 30. You’re 42 and you already have three grown-up kids. How would this work? Theoretically if I’m the girl you’re going to marry?” That’s…

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I’m that good at first dates, you’ll want to mark the occasion afterwards permanently… Apparently. One date, three blog posts. This guy had better stick around and not be a cock, that’s all I’m saying. That’s a lot of words to waste on a douchebag. Just to recap, if you’ve not read part one and part two, you can find them here: Pre-Date Post-Date   A tall, hottie of a man with tattoos and an underlying sense of kinky fuckery about him took me on the most unconventional 10/10 date.…

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