Crushin’
It’s been an interesting weekend, peeps.
The crush with One Ball’s best friend that I talked about in my previous post? Yep, it’s grown in intensity. I’ve started imagining his face when I’m fucking myself with a toy at night. Worse than that: I’ve started imagining his face when I’m fucking One Ball. That’s bad, right? Like … really, really bad.
I’m not doing it deliberately. It’s happening by accident, and it’s taking everything in me not to call my boyfriend by his best friend’s name. But it seemed to be on the tip of my tongue for the entire weekend I spent with One Ball, and it caused me more than a few problems.
I didn’t break up with One Ball, in case you were wondering. Although I’m guessing you know that by the fact he spent the weekend with me. And it was a great weekend, with lots of great sex (thinking about his pal), and it just got me even more confused. When we’re together, in short bursts, we have this great relationship. But if we spend any longer than a few days together, or we’re apart, things start to fall apart. He gets jealous. I get snappy. We both get sexually frustrated. I know those are the perils of having a long-distance relationship with a soldier but I don’t care. I thought I could deal with it as I have so many times before, but I can’t. More’s the point, I don’t want to.
The best friend had a back operation so we visited him in hospital. While we were there, a nurse came in and jabbed him with some sort of injection in the stomach, lifting his t-shirt and revealing his perfectly-toned, six-pack-rocking torso. I almost gasped. Who knew he had a body like that underneath his outdoor activewear? Honestly, it was a body and a half. I wanted to lick it. Right there and then, I wanted to get up from the chair, storm over to him, and lick his abs. And don’t even get me started on his arms. Those strong, veiny arms. Holy fuck. The guy’s a fucking Adonis. I don’t even like muscle-rippling boys that much, what the fuck is wrong with me?
I couldn’t keep my shit together after that. I literally turned into a giggling school girl and I’m 99% certain that One Ball picked up on it. I have no doubt it’ll come up in a future argument. I seriously need a way to get this under control. I also seriously need a way to resolve this situation with One Ball. I can’t keep writing blog posts umming and ahhing about my relationship.
I need to break up with him.
I’m going to break up with him.
Yes, I am. I need to.
Anyway, how’s your weekend been?
