Life, Dating & UK Sex Blog | 12 Years in Graphic Detail | 18+
I have a playlist of songs that I can’t touch. I can’t click on the list. I can’t look at it, open it up, think about it, delete it. It’s just there, on my phone, looking at me, waiting for me to make a decision. Delete the songs. Do it now. One by one. Just do it. Right now. Every time I’m faced with the playlist, I just ignore it. As time has gone by, newer playlists have been added, so *that* playlist has just disappeared further down the…
Read MoreGuess who I stalked today. In fact, I’ll save you the bother of guessing. I stalked him. HIM. Brown Eyes. Just a lil look. I’m not really sure why I did it either. Boredom, I think? It certainly wasn’t out of serious interest. Bear was napping and I was just sat there working. I got bored, made a cuppa, and checked my NSSITC phone. If you’re wondering why I’m so social media silent these days, it’s because I keep losing my damn phone. Also: it’s an iPhone 6S so…
Read MoreDo you ever look at men that you dated before and think to yourself, why? Like, honestly … why? Why, oh why? Okay, enough of the why’s now. But seriously though, why? What was going through my mind when I thought some of those dudes in my past were a good idea? Some of them weren’t bad looking at the time, obviously, and a couple have just gone a bit downhill with age. But some of them … Some of them never had any hope. I genuinely don’t understand the…
Read MoreI was so smug. And I was smug, wasn’t I? I had it all. My dream career. A life I love. It’s not always easy, don’t get me wrong, but it was getting there. I was making it. I hadn’t made it, but I was getting to where I wanted to be. Work and life, in general, going brilliantly, my love life was also going pretty well. I’d found a man. One who I’d fallen head over heels in love with. One who’d ticked every box as far as I…
Read MoreI hadn’t thought about him. Brown Eyes. He hadn’t even entered my mind. I was living my life, getting on with it, pretending he didn’t even exist. Because he doesn’t anymore. Does he? He went away, just like I asked, and he kept away too. I haven’t heard from him since the three early morning emails that I ignored. Done. Finished. Over. End of chapter. Ha. As if. It’s not him though. This time it’s me. In fact, it’s not even me. I’m blaming Bear for this one. He’s a…
Read MoreWell, where was I? I literally have about 20 almost-finished blog posts here, all stacked up. Stuff I’ve written on my phone, or on my iPad, or on my Mac. I need to actually put them together into a blog post at some point, and I’m starting that right now. I’m sorry I’ve been so absent. In my defence, there was a death and then a funeral, I basically moved in with Bear and then I went back home again, I had to hang out with my family … Y’know.…
Read MoreI have all these blog posts I really want to post, but instead I’m wasting my time with that fucking moron again. Once again, despite our last email exchange, Brown Eyes still hasn’t got the picture, and right now he’s more than pissing me off. Now he’s actively wrecking my relationship. It was 9am, I’d woken up desperately needing to pee and it was freezing cold outside the duvet. When I got to the bathroom, my 5-day-late period had arrived, which I was seriously thankful for but it pissed me…
Read MoreI’ve been a bad blogger for a while. Shit’s been going down. Christmas ended up being busier than I figured it was going to be, and once again I’ve basically moved into Bear’s house. I haven’t finished (or kept up with) Because I Can’t Write a Novel, but I can fill in the blanks anytime, right? If WordPress scheduling had worked like it was meant to have done, none of this would have happened. Technology and I have not had a great relationship recently. My actual relationship, on the other…
Read MoreBecause I Can’t Write a Novel – Day 16: I Win I’m probably not going to post this up on the blog right away which I know sounds ridiculous but I’m writing myself a letter for the future. I’m going to file it away somewhere and next time I have a bad breakup, hopefully I’ll remember to come back to this and read it. Either that or I’ll meet my happy ever after and I’ll never need to read it again. Here’s hopin’ I want to tell myself that I…
Read MoreThis was a piece that I started to write for one of my many failed novel attempts. Falling in Love With a Narcissist Falling in love with a narcissist isn’t like falling in love with anyone else. It happens so fast, overnight almost, quickly dragged in by their dazzling wit and charm. The latter, of course, being one of the narc’s greatest tool. Brilliant first dates soon turn into week-long stints together, his refusal to let you go a symbol of how much he cares for you. Or so you thought.…
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