What Makes Great Sex Great?

I’ve been dating my current beau for around three months now, and for a month or so of that we’ve been “Facebook Official.” You know it’s fairly serious when I’m happy for my family and friends to be able to locate him and potentially stalk him on social media. He’s great and all, but I need to talk about a couple of things. So, let’s start with a question: what makes great sex great… and what doesn’t?

What makes great sex great?

I started writing this blog not just for your entertainment but also to document the bizarre, disappointing, interesting, fun, great, bad, and hilarious sexual experiences I’ve had. I love sex. Love it. Love doing it, watching it, writing about it, reading it, you name it, I love it.

I don’t mind vanilla sex, but I prefer things a little… feistier than that. Slap me, spank me, whip me, tie me up, bite me, get into my head and fuck me up… you get the idea. Like “Fifty Shades” but better. Get experimental. Tease me. Play with me. Oh, please play with me.

My current guy isn’t bad in that department. Let’s call him The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of – or just Guy for short. I do have a few complaints about his performance, though. What better place to share them than in an anonymous dating and sex blog?

Shall we start with the kisses?

I can’t stand the way Guy kisses me. I hate it. I actively avoid kissing him at every possible opportunity, but I guess I’ve gotta throw him a bone every now and then. It’s so disappointing because I love kissing. Making out for hours. Kissing that leads to sex. Kissing that doesn’t lead to sex. Just all the kisses, all the time.

Guy opens and closes his mouth like a fish when he kisses, though. No tongue, no real movement, no excitement or rhythm, nothing. It’s all just fish mouth, and fish mouth is not attractive.

How am I meant to get excited about sex when his kisses remind me of a can of tuna?!

Let’s head south…

I should probably tell him that ‘wax on, wax off’ is something out of a martial arts movie, not a real sex move, because I’m getting kinda sick of him doing it to my breasts. Not even Brad Pitt could get away with that fashion of foreplay. Not that I’m all that into Brad Pitt, but you get the idea.

I’ve tried to move his hands, show him how to do it with my own hands, and I’ve even told him what I like/don’t like. Have things changed? No. They might actually have gotten a little worse.

Why? Why does he keep doing it? He knows how I moan, groan, whatever when he does something that I do like… so why would he keep doing something that doesn’t work? Why would he keep doing it?! At this stage, I’ve pretty much given up on trying to change his technique.

Flicking the bean

Guy flicks my bean. He literally flicks it and we’re not talking metaphorically here. I’m a big fan of the whole pain-pleasure combo, but heavy-handed ACTUAL flicking of my clit is not it. Nowhere close to it. It’s starting to feel like torture, and not the good kind.

How do I get him to stop doing it without blurting out something like: 

“Oi, please stop doing that. It actually fucking hurts and it seems that my not-so-subtle hints aren’t working!”

The sex…

Despite the fact that he kisses like a fish, actually flicks my clit, and hasn’t the first clue about foreplay, the sex with Guy is actually pretty good (and he has a great dick.) He goes all the right things. If I want a quickie, he provides me with just that. If I want him to fuck me slow and deep, he’ll do that too. I can click my fingers and get whatever kind of sex I want.

I can’t get enough of the actual penetrative sex with him, but I wish we could avoid the awkward foreplay stuff first. How can a man with such a talented dick be so useless with his fingers and mouth? Perhaps useless is too strong a word, but the difference between the sex and the foreplay really is quite ridiculous.

So, what makes great sex great?

I guess, for me, the three main ingredients need to be in place to make great sex with a man: kisses, foreplay, then penetrative sex. Just one of those being out of whack is enough to make me doubt the longevity of my interest, and in this case, we have two missing ingredients.

I was always under the impression that great kisses meant great sex and bad kisses meant bad sex, but what happens when that rule doesn’t apply? Do I have to give one of those ingredients up to experience great sex? Or is there bound to be someone – or even many people – who can offer the full triangle package?

Just some food for thought, and definitely something we’ll come back to. What makes great sex great for you?

Thanks so much for reading my blog today!

Do you fancy reading about some sex that I enjoyed the hell out of? Here are a few of my filthy favourites:

• Warning! Explicit Content!
• A Blast of a Third Date
• Act A: The Photograph

notsosexinthecity

Spicy blogger. Fairy frogmother. Gobshite. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎. (𝙼𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚢.)

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