12 Signs You’re About to Get Ghosted
In the world of modern relationships, ghosting has become an all-too-common experience. One moment you’re having meaningful conversations and planning your next date, and the next, the person vanishes without a trace, leaving you to wonder what went wrong. While being ghosted can feel sudden and confusing, there are often subtle signs you’re about to get ghosted.
Let’s explore the 12 telltale signs that you’re about get ghosted.
12 signs you’re about to get ghosted
Recognising the ghosting red flags can help you to emotionally prepare for ghosting before it happens. Although ghosting often comes with no warning signs, you can sometimes pinpoint where someone is pulling away and heading into ghosting territory.
Please, allow me to explain…
There’s something about the beginning of a relationship/situationship that’s super exciting because of all the sneaking around. Neither of you want to spill the beans just yet, so you’re trying to be discreet whilst also liking and commenting on virtually everything they post on social media.
But then, things change.
Out of nowhere, the likes and comments disappear.
Yo, that’s a sign: you’re about to get ghosted.
Lust/love/interest makes you do dumb things, like go through and take a peek at every single thing the other person shares on the socials. It sometimes makes you want to piss up your potential new partner’s leg, but doing it in a more dignified way… by liking, commenting, sharing, etc.
When that lust/love/interest goes away, so do the social media interactions.
2: Whopping decrease in messages, calls, etc.
Alongside social media interactions, calls and texts seem to disappear entirely when someone is about to ghost you… or are in the process of ghosting you.
When someone ghosts you, they’re over the relationship. They no longer care about your thoughts, feelings, or emotions. If they did, they wouldn’t even dream of ghosting you.
Social polls and studies have shown that the top three reasons for someone ghosting you are:
- Not interested in continuing the relationship
- Avoiding confrontation
- Stressed or overwhelmed by expectations
The same study shows that one in three people do not think ghosting is bad. Moreover, 75% of people think that ghosting is fine and perfectly acceptable in certain situations.
So, they either don’t care about your feelings… or they don’t see ghosting as bad. If the latter is the case, ghosting is just another way of saying, “It’s over.”
People lose interest long before they start the ghosting process, which means that calls and texts often decrease in the lead-up to the Big Ghosting Event.
3: Longer response times
Have you noticed that your date’s response times have changed from immediate to… well, hours, days, or even weeks at times?
Yup, you’re being ghosted.
It’s normal for someone to be busy sometimes, but if you’re only getting half a conversation, once per week, and it’s constantly taking hours for them to respond, you can probably assume that they’re not as interested as you want them to be.
You’re not leaving them waiting for hours, are you?
They weren’t leaving you waiting for hours at the beginning, were they?
4: Lack of meaningful, deep conversations
I noticed that, before I was last ghosted, our conversations changed from life goals and planning to the superficial and mundane. Once upon a time, we talked about getting married (in a half-joking way,) what kind of home we wanted to live in, and even what pets we’d like to own. Then, it was hard work to even get an update about their day.
Guess what happened, folks?
Yep, that’s right: they eventually ghosted me…
And, when I asked about their switch around, I was blocked.
If they’re genuinely thinking about having a future with you, they’ll talk about it. They’ll want to know that your future aligns with theirs. If they don’t talk about it, they’re not bothered about what your future looks like… because they won’t be in it.
5: “Can’t do Friday, I’m washing my hair”
What happens when you ask them to meet up in person? What happened when you last tried to plan a date? If they aren’t bothered in pursuing a relationship, they won’t bother arranging or agreeing to plans. There will be lots of excuses, starting with the believable and eventually getting to the ridiculous. Either way, you’ll never get them to say yes.
Why would they meet you? You’re just a boredom buster. That’s why it’s all text and no action.
6: You don’t hear from them unless you communicate first
Stop sending them messages for a few days and see what happens. If they don’t bother texting or getting in touch with you, you’re being ghosted. Someone who actually gave a shit would ask if you were okay, why you weren’t messaging, etc. Someone who doesn’t give a shit, won’t.
If they only communicate with you when you communicate first, you’re the only one putting any effort into the situationship/relationship.
They’re on the way to ghosting you, my friend. In fact, they’ve already started.
7: They continually cancel in-person plans
If you ever do get them to agree to a date, the ghoster will probably come up with all manner of last-minute excuses to get out of it. It’s easier to say yes at first, then bail out at the last minute because of some unforeseen situation – so, that’s they’ll probably do.
One time, two times, three times… how many times would you let someone cancel a date or plans before you finally figure out that they’re just using you as something to fill the time? Things come up, of course… but every single time? Either the universe is trying to separate you, or that person is going to ghost you as soon as you start asking for more.
8: You have no clue about their life
What do they do for work? What about hobbies or free time activities? Where do they want to go on holiday? Which dog would they love to have? How many times per week do they change their bedsheets?
If you know fuck all about their life, they’re not letting you in. Even the hottest of relationships have mundane, boring, everyday conversations. Where are yours? Why don’t you know anything about them, their life, or their day?
Chances are, they’re not letting you into the day-to-day of their life because they have no interest in you being in it. There’s no point in talking about siblings because you’re never going to meet them. There’s no point in talking about career stuff, because you’re not going to be around long enough to see it happen.
You see where I’m going with this?
9: Quick to open up = quick to withdraw
Ghosting very, very, very frequently happens following love bombing. Not enough to say that it happens every single time, but definitely enough to be a predictable pattern. It goes right back to the ol’ adage: If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Be wary of someone who seems to be exactly what you’re looking for. Someone who jumps in and opens up quick is likely to be the same person that withdraws quickly when they’re done with you.
If they’re rushing you into something, they’re probably going to rush right out of it, too.
Just remember that.
10: Any excuse to fight
If you find yourself constantly defending yourself, walking on eggshells to avoid starting a fight, and still walking headfirst into arguments you don’t want, you’re in a relationship with someone who is looking for any excuse to fight with you… and eventually break up with you. Or y’know, ghost you.
You shouldn’t have to defend yourself constantly, nor should you walk on eggshells. A happy relationship with the right person will leave you feeling safe, secure, and not in fear of a breakup every time you fall out.
If they’re looking for any excuse to fight you, you’re about to get ghosted or broken up with.
11: Gut instinct
One thing you should always trust, whether it makes sense to you or not, is your gut instinct. If it’s making you feel weird, trust it. If it’s telling you that you’re about to get ghosted, trust it. If it’s telling you that you’re with the wrong person, trust it.
Trust it, always.
Your gut instinct isn’t always going to be explainable, but that uncomfortable feeling happens for a reason.
Has your gut instinct ever been wrong before? I bet the answer is no.
12: ZERO warning signs you’re about to get ghosted
Unfortunately, most people don’t see the warning signs that they’re about to get ghosted. In some cases, they might look back and reflect over the ghosting experience, eventually spotting little, tiny signs that might not even be signs at all. In other cases, though, there are no signs at all.
That’s why ghosting hurts so damn much: it’s unexpected.
It is literally like someone has just whipped the rug right out from under you, making you question or doubt everything you thought you knew.
One day, everything is going super well. You’re smiling, they’re smiling, everyone’s smiling. The world feels a little like a rom-com, music playing in the background and a light, post-sex glow painted across your face.
The next day, nothing.
No messages, no witty repertoire, no whiff of the “relationship” you had before.
Just. Like. That.
Signs you’re about to get ghosted: summary
As mentioned, ninety-nine percent of the time, there will be no signs that you’re about get ghosted. It’ll just happen out of nowhere, suddenly, with no warning. One day, you’re happy in the knowledge that you’re embarking on a brand new and happy relationship; the next, you’re heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.
It’s not you, though. I hope you know that. Getting ghosted says way more about the ghoster than it does about the ghostee. Try not to take it personally, despite how personal it might feel.
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
If you enjoyed this, I think you’ll also find the following blog posts super helpful:
- What to Do When You’ve Been Ghosted
- The Ex-Slut’s Guide to Ghosting & Getting Ghosted
- Should I Give a Second Chance to Someone Who Ghosted Me?
