Public Displays of Flirting

Every time I decide to give Someone New the chance to be the boyfriend I think he could be, he does something so dumb, I can’t understand why he would do it. Just like today.

A girl who he has a bit of history with sent him a Facebook message. On his wall, although it probably shoulda been an inbox message with the very blatant flirting that happened as a result of it. It started innocently enough – sorry I’ve not been in touch, I’m a bad friend, forgot to message, let’s meet up soon, blah, blah, blah.

Now, I don’t know the full back story on this chick, but I know he ridicules her quite a bit, and he’s made me well aware of her lust for him. That’s not what I have an issue with here. Not by any means. Lust after my man all you like, it’s my booty he’s lusting after. Not yours. You know?

What really upset me was the conversation between them that followed that definitely should have been kept to the inbox. It wasn’t a conversation I needed to see, that’s for sure. I liked the post when I first read it, mostly because it was funny and something I would have said but secondly, because I’d quite like to get the chance to meet some of the girls in his life. It’s inevitable it would happen at some point right?

However, upon reading the 20 or so comments between the two that followed, I wished I hadn’t. Flirting was an understatement. They may as well have graphically spelt out whatever it was that happened between them before. I’m pretty sure it crossed a couple of lines. I’ll let you make your own mind up:

“OK, first item on the agenda. First drinks are on you! x” 

(With a kissy emoticon)

“PROPER drinks? That never ended well…….”

(With a covering-eyes monkey emoticon)

“Can we find another appropriate adult to take with us? X”

And then she called him a fucking pet name.

Are you kidding me?

This would NOT be acceptable if a man were saying those things PUBLICLY on my Facebook page. I mean, I didn’t even need to go looking for it. It popped right up on my page. If I had rammed a similar conversation down his throat, he’d have blown his lid for sure. 100%

I can’t work out if this guy is SO FUCKING DUMB that he wouldn’t understand how or why that conversation would upset me – his girlfriend, or if he’s doing it to evoke a reaction. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. He’s really not that dumb. And he knows he’s on the way out. After the last conversation we had, I can’t believe he’d be stupid enough to put himself in that position so publicly.

Like, in my head, the last time they “drank vodka together” (her words with that fucking pet name) all sorts of drunken fumblings happened. Especially with her kissy face and his covering-eyes face. It sounds as if it was a fucking good night either way, don’t you think? There was flirty banter after too, more giggling and reminiscing. Seriously? Ram it down my throat a little fucking more why not?

It goes back to what I said before about having some fucking tact when you’re dating. You have someone else’s feelings to take into account. What happened between the two of them publicly on Facebook, was inappropriate and unacceptable. I seriously don’t know how many times I can keep saying to this guy – you’re being dumb, don’t do that. Girls don’t like it. How does he not know this shit already? If it’s not the half naked women first thing in the morning, it’s the public flirting with other women. This isn’t the first time. I’m sure it won’t be the last.

He gets jealous about everything. How does he not understand that his actions would evoke the same reaction with me? Or maybe he does and that’s just why he does it? It’s just like one giant head fuck. Other women are constantly being rammed down my throat. The mother who doesn’t like me, or the long time female friend who’s just split up with her long-term partner, or this girl who seems to come up in conversation more often than I’d like. Or that other girl. And then there’s the female best friend…

I think maybe there are just too many other women in his life for me to even think about adding myself to the crew. I don’t wanna end up being some kind of weird groupie.

Sometimes I wonder if he’s as genuine or as trustworthy as he makes himself out to be. Sometimes it’s as though he can be super sneaky and snidey. I can’t work out if I can trust him 100% or not at all. I’m starting to doubt things. Like why he doesn’t tell me where he is or what he’s doing. I rarely ask because I don’t really care, but he doesn’t easily divulge the information either way. He has a lot of female friends, all of which he seems to have a complicated past with… I dunno.

I know I have a similar past, but I also know how easy it is to slip into a dirty conversation you probably shouldn’t be having. Or a naughty situation you definitely shouldn’t find yourself in. There’s just a lot of sneaky things happening and I can’t work out if they are genuine mistakes, or part of a clever plan. I don’t know what plan but I do know it probably won’t be good for me.

I don’t know what it is but all of a sudden I don’t have a very good vibe about him. It’s just one thing after another and somehow, I always end up feeling pretty inadequate.

Maybe I’m just overreacting to this Facebook chat. After all, if it were really that ominous, wouldn’t it have been done more privately? I don’t know. I think maybe I’m just over him and I’m looking for things to get annoyed about. Either way, I know there’s a good chance I’ll be blowing him out in about twelve hours. I’m really very mad at him. I don’t think it would be wise to invite an argument by going to see him. I should probably cool off soon.

What a fucking asshole though. That was not a cool conversation for me to see. Public Displays of Flirting with another woman in front of your girlfriend, publicly on Facebook.

Smart move, dickhead.

So here’s some DATING ADVICE for you ladies and gentlemen – do not have a conversation PUBLICLY on Facebook with someone you have history with. It won’t ever be purely platonic, and someone will catch up on those flirty vibes. Probably your boyfriend / girlfriend.