A Twisted Form of Foreplay?

18/10/2015: Operation Blog Catch-Up

There’s something about The Director and I just can’t put my finger on it. He’s a nice guy, a funny guy but he’s also a bit of a dick. Or maybe he just likes to argue? I’m not sure. I always thought our petty fights were a twisted form of foreplay but I’m starting to think he’s just an argumentative asshole. I’m not sure I like that side of him.

We’ve had a few fights already in our brief dalliance. The second-date fight, the going-to-the-States fight (you’ll read about this soon), the teaching-him-social-media-stuff fight… When you look at it we’re basically averaging a fight per date which doesn’t look great does it? Not real fights though, just petty ones. Irrespective of that, his fight-y side is pissing me off.

He’ll start a fight about anything – me not texting back right away or rescheduling a date to suit BOTH our schedules. I know he’s playing around for the most part and he doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s all just foreplay after all. But I can see this being a side of him I get bored of real quick especially when he starts to get personal like it did when he started cussing down my work. I thought I was an argumentative person but this is something else. This is bordering on very fucking annoying.

Not just an argumentative son of a bitch, he’s selfish too. Not all the time but sometimes it’s as though I don’t exist. It’s the same problem I seem to face with most of the men I’m highly attracted to. They have just as many stories to tell as I do and therefore there’s a constant battle for ‘communication time’. If I don’t force my way in and cut his sentences short (which he often does with me), I can’t get a look in. It’s like a one-way conversation except he hasn’t realised. He just goes on and on and on…

We were talking about tattoo’s the other day and it took him a full ten minutes to realise we weren’t talking about HIS tattoos but rather MINE. I’m not kidding – like an actual ten minutes! He just kept typing and typing, not responding to what I was saying, just focusing on the verbal diarrhoea that was pouring out of his mouth. I sometimes wonder if he would even realise if I weren’t around. Slight overreaction, I’m sure he would notice, but still.

I had a really shitty couple of days. I had to chase the NHS for what felt like hours as well as chasing up various website / work-related people. It put me behind by a whole two days on the work I had expected to get done on top of the 30,000 word eBook that I was also down by this month. In short, I have a rent payment due in about a week and not enough funds to cover it. I decided to cancel our date and spend some time doing what I needed to do. It was a decision that suited us both as he had a busy schedule also but still, he got the right hump about me taking a rain-check. Not only that he not once asked me if I were OK. He knew I was pissed because he told me I’d been short and distant but he didn’t ask for the intel on what was going on in my life. I ended up forcing it on him three days later, explaining why I had been so absent. When he’s pissed off about something he just rants and expects me to deal with it and if I don’t, he then gets annoyed and starts accusing me of ignoring his texts… Just not in so many ways.

The problem is I’ve been here before haven’t I? This is classic Jock-behaviour. Even I can see it – I’m not that blind. This is what he used to do – start fights about nothing, anything, just to have his word, a story to tell, something to say. He always needed to be the centre of attention and if that meant cutting everyone else down and out, oh well. The two men are incredibly similar. Scarily so at times.

When The Director flares up, I tend to ignore it or at the very least laugh it off. The last time I did that however, he accused me of laughing at him and promptly hung up the phone. Honestly for a man in his forties, he sure is childish at times. A lot of the time in fact. Just like Jock.

I said I’d let him go didn’t I? I decided NOT to message Jock. I decided NOT to be a dumbass. So why does it seem like everything this new guy does reminds me of my past? Every fight The Director starts reminds me of a fight that Jock once instigated. They are virtually the same person with a different outer shell. Or maybe it’s that generation of men? I don’t think so. I don’t meet people like this that often. I’d be fucking them all if I did… Probably on the first date too.

I don’t know, there’s just something about The Director bugging me a little. I can’t work it out?