I’m Doing That Thing Again.

I’m think I’m doing that thing again. You know – where I click with a guy almost instantly and get carried away. We were chit-chatting and he was just another guy on Tinder I was talking to who’d likely disappear after a week or so, and the next minute he had my phone number, we were arranging our first date, and a week of chit-chatting had passed.

And then I blew him out.

He was sending me ‘good morning’ messages and I was telling him to be safe. He got lost in Amsterdam and I helped him find his way, remembering the places I’d been just two weeks ago. I didn’t hear from him for a few hours and got worried, and he did the same right back. It’s like he just crept up on me. He wasn’t around and now he is.

Looks-wise, I wasn’t sure at first. I didn’t think he was unattractive, but I didn’t think he was my kind of attractive based on the photos I’d seen on Tinder. WhatsApp chat lead to more photos on both sides and with every new one he sent, I realised he was a little bit of what I liked. The Tinder photos are old. He has aged well. I prefer him now. Not tattooed but the rest was pretty much spot on – the wrinkles on his face and that greying hair, the ‘dad bod’, the two daughters with the wife he’s been separated from for over a year … Yes, he has baggage, but haven’t we all?

I don’t know if we have anything in common, we don’t seem to have asked those questions. We’ve just … talked? I don’t know. But he’s been perfectly understanding of my job and my working hours, something that has been a problem with every guy before him. I blew him out and although I immediately regretted my decision (making me realise I was definitely into him), he was an absolute gentleman about it. He understood, he gets the job thing, he has daughters and he would wholeheartedly expect them to make a smart career choice instead of picking just another guy. He didn’t even text those words to me, he sent them to me in voice messages which he sent periodically as ‘work motivation’. His accent is amazing. Even when I’m pissed off beyond belief, his voice makes me smile. Sometimes I re-listen to his voice messages. Is that sad?

We should probably just get married.

Seriously though, he’s adorable right?

What else do I know about him? I think he has one tattoo that he needs to get ‘fixed’. He’s 6ft tall. He does something to do with transport although I don’t think he’s actually worked the whole time we’ve been talking. I really want to go out and get drunk with him. I want to go clubbing with him. He strikes me a man who would be lots of fun and I want to go out and have all the fun with him.

Our first date was meant to have been today with coffee and cake, but we’ve decided to change our date idea along with date day. We’re going to have a picnic and it was his suggestion. Seriously, he’s ticking off all the things a guy could do or say to me to make me fall in love, and this is just in the first week BEFORE we’ve even met. Don’t worry, I’m not crazy yet. I don’t love him. I’m just saying. He makes me swoon A LOT! If I could write a guidebook on how to handle me and my inner crazy bitch, I’d probably write it just as he’s acting.

But we haven’t met yet. And this is what I hate about internet dating. We could meet and have none of this ‘clicking’ in person. We might clash in bed. We haven’t even discussed the idea of getting naked together. That’s probably a record for a guy I met on Tinder – a week in and no mention of sex yet. Perhaps he’s saving that for after the first date. Or the first date? I’ve made my stance on that very clear – I’m going to be making this one work for it. Putting out so easily doesn’t seem to have helped me before so I’m not doing it this time. I’m sure someone left me a comment once about sex and how narcissists / sociopaths use it to lure in their victims. Well, I’m not going to be a victim this time. I’m going to make sure he’s not a nutter first. Well, I’m going to try. Clearly my approach to dating up until this point hasn’t really gone in my favour, so it’s time to switch it up.

I think this one has potential. I’m excited about that. I’ve been in a weird slump since BE, and I’ve even turned down booty calls. I needed to lick my wounds I guess. I’ve done that. I’m bored now. Time to move on.

I need to reschedule my date with this man. I also need to think of a really good name for him. I feel like he deserves a good name, if only for his performance thus far.

Suggestions are welcome obviously. Make them good ones.