I read this thing on Facebook on one of those article sites that gets shared a thousand times, and it was all about this one girl’s three weirdest and funniest sexual experiences, and man, were they funny.

My 3 Most Horrible (And Hilarious) Sexual Encounters

I decided to have a go at this myself seeing as we all know how weird and wonderful my sex life has been over the years. I have decided to share with you the three weirdest sexual experiences  I’ve ever had.

Are you ready? Sitting comfortably? Ready to cringe with me?

I had to put some serious thought into this as, I’m going to be honest, I’ve had more bad, nasty, and downright weird sexual occurrences than I would openly like to admit to.

Guy Number 3 on my list was a pretty weird situation, so I’m going to put this one at number three on this list.

It was me, my boyfriend (Number 4 – The Fireman), Number 3, and his girlfriend. We’d been out drinking together until the early hours of the morning, aged around 18/19, and after the pubs were done and we were all good and kicked out, we decided to keep the party going.

On the way home to my guy’s house, someone mentioned a foursome, and the idea kinda picked up speed from there. Fuelled with amounts of booze that a sailor on leave would be proud of, we stormed back to boyfy’s house, only to remember that not only was his entire family home, but he had relatives staying on the living room floor as well.

We were so far gone in our alcohol-fuelled horn-dog states, we would have carried on that particular party anywhere and we did…. In my boyfriend’s garden shed.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like a falling down wreck or anything like that. In fact, it was a relatively new shed and once we were done with it, was quite the romantic get-up with candles, soft music, and plenty more booze. Before I knew it, we were stripping off, and there was a lot of things happening all at once.

My boyfriend was kissing me, and Number 3 was kissing his girlfriend. Then I heard noises that suggested they weren’t just kissing anymore and all of a sudden, we weren’t just kissing anymore either. I don’t remember an awful lot of the night, mostly because of the vast amount of booze we drank but also because it was about a million years ago, but I do remember both of us girls being on my boyfriend’s dick at one point. When it was time for me to enjoy my fill, with all three of the others focusing all of their attention on me, my boyfriend decided he ‘couldn’t do it anymore’. He pulled out the safe word – Eeyore.

Hey, don’t judge – it’s a safe word that works!

We had a massive fight after that night came to an abrupt end, and he accused me of cheating on him which was quite ironic seeing as he got played with and I didn’t, so to speak.

I slept with Number 3 in the end anyway, a while later. In fact, I’m pretty sure he cheated on the same girlfriend with me. They are married now and have had a couple of kids, but I bet he didn’t forget that night in the shed, or the night we had, just us two, that followed.

So, part one done. I realised this post was going to be much longer than anticipated so I’ll do the good thing and break it up for you.

Keep your eyes peeled for part two, and while you’re there – tell me your most embarrassing / weird sex stories. It can’t just be me…