Category: The Director

I’ve figured out what I’m good at in life. Bad decisions. Bad decisions and sex. I think those are my two talents. Perhaps writing too? I made a whopper of a bad decision yesterday. After blowing The Director out like a good girl on Tuesday, Wednesday didn’t carry with it quite as much common sense. I agreed to meet him at 2pm for a ‘business meeting’. 2pm turned into 4pm. A business meeting turned into three bottles of wine. Final result… We finished half the work we said we were…

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I’m such a dick. Like, legitimately, the biggest dick in the world. You’ll be happy to know I’ve come to my senses in a roundabout kinda way. The Director, seeing him, helping him with his business stuff… It’s all a very bad idea. All of it. Even the slightest hint of him. I have genuine feelings for this man. I haven’t heard from him at all today and it has affected my mood a lot. I’m a grump. Quiet. Withdrawn. Tired. Pissed off. All of the above. It’s all in…

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I have no longer ‘relapsed’. I am ‘relapsing’. I know I’m doing it. I also know it’s probably a very bad idea. I’m doing it anyway. The Director. He’s back, for a while it seems. He sent a text, then I sent a text… Why? Why did I do that? What the fuck is wrong with me? This is a guy who fucked with my emotions and apparently didn’t even realise. He fucked with my head, he took the piss out of me and he didn’t take me or my…

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I made a boo-boo. Well, not so much a boo-boo as a huge fucking error of judgement. I text The Director. After 16 days of zero communication, I was doing so well. And then came the relapse. Ooops. It came thinly veiled as a favour. He told he wanted a specific car while we were dating so I asked a man who would know about such things if he could keep an eye out. The man who knows about such things sent me a text which I should pass on…

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Yesterday was a shit day. I broke up with The Director. I was sick the entire day. I felt very sorry for myself. More annoyed by the breakup than I thought I would be and a little more hurt than I gave myself credit for too, the day just sucked. By the time 10pm came around, I was ready to say goodbye so I took a couple of sleeping pills, smoked a doobie and hoped to doze off into the world of nod. I did, for a couple of hours,…

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FUUUUUUUCK! I FINALLY plucked up some balls to tell The directot what I wanted to say to him, and what did he go and do? He went and fought for me. A lot harder than I’d actually given him credit for. “I kinda hoped we’d have a chance to talk this week but we’ve both been super busy! I like you a lot, and I’ve had a lot of fun with you but it feels like we keep flatlining. You’re a really busy guy and I’m busy too but I’m…

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The Director and I are pretty much over, but I don’t know how to tell him. That’s pretty much the long and short of it. We’ve barely spoken the last couple of days. In fact we’ve sent no more than ten text messages to each in 72 hours. That’s not right. We’re meant to be dating. Aren’t we? This happened once before. We barely spoke for a few days and then we had this great big chat where he told me he felt we had flatlined and he didn’t want…

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It’s been such a long time since I blogged or at least it feels like that. It’s all been a bit nuts. I don’t even know where I should start. The Twirtation went and got all complicated and The Director and I broke up and made up again… Kinda. I’m currently sat on his couch with my feet up on his lap. Remembrance Day parade over, a spot of lunch done, we’ve retired to the couch so he could watch some shit on TV and I could catch up on…

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So… I didn’t go last night. I didn’t go and see The Director. We kinda talked last night and we kinda talked some more this morning. I don’t really know where we’re at. I do know this though – this is a lot of hard work and hassle for something that’s only been going on for a few weeks. What are we at? Like eight weeks? Too soon for all this drama and bullshit that’s for sure. He said that things had ‘flat-lined’ for us since the Going-to-the-States Fight. I…

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Ugh. I decided to play The Director at his own game, and it kinda back-fired a little. Life is a bitch like that. I played it cool about our date tonight, kinda assuming he would blow me out. It sounded like he was going to… He couldn’t get out of an event tomorrow and he’d need to leave home early in the morning. I said, “No worries” assuming that was his way of saying ‘thanks but no thanks’ and it was left at that. For a while at least. A…

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