What The Fuck Is Happening!? Meet Number 5.

So… I can’t believe I’m saying this. Another guy has creeped out of the woodwork to declare his undying love for me. Literally. He actually said those exact words to me. It can’t be the change in relationship status on Facebook because I hid it before Jock removed me. Only I can see my relationship status. So no now else would have noticed that I was now in fact single. Maybe it’s the new piercing? Or the back-to Barbie-blonde hair? I did recently post a pretty decent selfie. Maybe that’s the culprit?

I was at work when I got the first message but we seem to have found ourselves with a loss of coverage so I can’t connect to the internet properly for Facebook updates when I’m there. I got a big smiley face from Number 5 on my list… The High School Bully.

I messaged him back with a simple “Hi… Lol?” I was actually curious to find out what he wanted. In fact, I even made a joke with Bestie that he was going to start hitting on me. It turns out, I wasn’t wrong.

He messaged back a couple of hours later saying that he had actually sent a really long message before that smiley face and now he felt like a weirdo and he was really embarrassed. Huh? What was going on? I asked him what the message said that I apparently didn’t receive and he said this:

“I was just pouring my heart out and declaring my undying love for you! Basically an old school friend sent me a friend request and I only had two mutual friends with him – You and (Number 1 – My First Boyf). We started talking and it all made me chuckle and remember. I had to message you.”

Our messages are sporadic. There are hours and hours between each one. But part of me is intrigued to find out a little more and maybe even catch up. I remember having such bittersweet times with this guy. He was a big part of my childhood really, for a few different reasons.

He was the High School Bully and he really did make my life difficult. I didn’t have the best of times during my school years and even attempted suicide at the age of 14. I was bullied. I was bullied because I was weird – I was pretty but not a popular girl, and I was super-geek smart; a Grade A student through and through. This guy was an asshole to me. He repeatedly and constantly mocked me. He shoved drawing pins all down my back in French class, which really hurts by the way. And fucks up your nerve endings apparently. He pulled me from a table onto my ass, causing me to crack my coccyx for the second time. The first time was because a guy in my class kicked my legs from under me and I landed square on my ass. That tiny little tail bone caused me the most excruciating pain. I told you I didn’t have a good time at high school.

At times I hated him with a passion but every now and then, he’d let me see this little sweet side that no one else realized he had and I couldn’t hate him after that. Like the time Number 1 – My First Boy, High School Bully and I went to the reservoirs and he held his hand out for me to climb up the ladder. My actual boyfriend climbed up and walked off, leaving me hanging god knows how many feet in the air. High School Bully turned around, walked back and helped me. Just like that other time too I was dared to climb a tree and I did but couldn’t get back down. He climbed up that tree and rescued me. Over the years, we developed a very bizarre and sparse friendship.

He was there for me in a weird way when my parents broke up and my life just went weird. I remember going out drinking one night with a bunch of my friends and bumping into him. He took me home and we got caught in his living room by his step-dad, fooling around on the couch. We left his and ended up back at mine, squashed together in my single bed at my Dad’s house, drinking Baileys out of each other’s belly buttons until the early hours of the morning. I was only the second girl he had ever slept with and I’m pretty sure, even at the age of 18, I made a fairly lasting impression.

We always had this little spark between us, even back then at high school. It was inevitable that we would end up in bed together at some point. I can even admit now to fancying him a little. I still fancy him a little right now, I think. He’s an odd looking guy but he’s not unattractive. I don’t think so anyway.

So yeah. Apparently I’ve gotten another admirer. Christ I’ve been single for less than a week!